strawberry lipstick

twenty-two

i drove as fast as i could of back to my house, i hated this. i felt trapped and like i couldn't leave, i know i probably could but it scared me to know what he might possibly think or do.
he was moving everything too fast and that's exactly what i didn't want in any relationship.

before i ran into the house i checked how i looked on my iphone camera. there stood hickeys... i don't remember him giving me those before i went to bed so-
i felt like throwing up, all i wanted to do was cry. this was too much to deal with, i don't know what i'm even gonna do.
i then covered the hickeys with my shirt hoping they won't reveal.

i slowly opened the door to find my mum laying on the couch like usual. we both smiled and i immediately ran up to her.
i hugged her sense we both probably needed it.

"h-hey lovely" i said with a smile.

"hello my son" my mum said as she was messing with my hair.

there was a comfortable silence, we were just hugging and needing each other's embraces.

"breakfast me, shower you" my mum said with a smile.

"sounds great" i said with a smile.

we both released from the hug and sighed, i then got off the couch and went up the stairs.

i then went upstairs and took a quick shower and cried all my emotions out. i didn't know how to feel, i felt used and numb. why me?

i got dressed into the hoodie dream gave me and some of my own gray sweatpants.
the hoodie still smelt like dream and so it gave good memories that i didn't want to leave my mind.

i then walked down stairs and into the kitchen to help my mum finish our breakfast.

"hey mum, do you need help?" i asked then hugging her.

"no thanks" my mum said with a smile.

"ok, well i'll set up the plates for us then" i stated.

"ok" my mum responded then adding seasoning to our eggs.

soon we were both sitting in the dining room eating our eggs and toast.

it was now around sunday afternoon and all i wanted to do was sleep in my bed. i was exhausted and was overthinking everything.

i then decided to go on a walk sense my mum might even decide to go with me, and plus i think we both needed one.

"hey mum?" i asked.

"yes?" my mum replied.

"wanna go on a walk?" i asked.

"of course" my mum responded then getting up.

i helped my mum find her tennis shoes and i put mine on as well, i didn't have to worry about finding socks because i was told to always wear socks.

we decided to first walk around the park and then to finish the walk by going to the beach and walk in the sand. i was nervous about the walk sense the last time my mum was bullied when she went out.

but this time i would surely make that not happen... right?

my makeup was done and we headed out the door, my mum never locked the door because she always got frustrated and anxious when it took her a few tries to open it. it once ended in her having a panic attack because she thought she wouldn't be able to get inside the house anymore.

my mum doesn't really go outside unless she's with me and so before the night i make sure to lock all doors just in case, our neighborhood wasn't the best one out there.