My Twin Flame | Scarlett Johansson

42: Bump In The Road

Throughout the duration of the storm things were off between Lottie and me and so they should be. I mean I accused her of cheating or implied it at least. She's been trying but she's had a lot of alone time too. In the office doing work. And when the wifi went down she started to read. I've never seen her read a book since I've met her. She reads her scripts five minutes before she's on set because she doesn't sit still for long enough.

Now we're back at work and it's easier to avoid each other than ever. I work in the day she's on night shoots, I'm off on the weekend I go to London to see Rose she comes with me but stays at the farm or is at the west end helping out, teaching or even performing one-off shows.

Tonight was one of the rare nights where we're both home and rested. We've had two days at home so we've both had time to relax and rest. Lottie was in the kitchen baking a pie for Roberts dinner party tomorrow night. I wrap my arms around her waist and press my face into her back. She held onto my hand for a few seconds acknowledging me before going back to sorting out the pie crust. "You okay?" She asked in her soft voice. "Yeah, just wanted a cuddle." She moved from my touch and went to her sink to wash her hands. I pouted but tried to hide it. My girlfriend just rejected me. I went to talk away but felt her arms around me. "Didn't want to get flour all over you." She mumbled. "You sure you're okay?" She asked, I nodded into the crook of her neck. I felt her lips softly peck my head. Things almost felt normal again like I didn't ruin them. She started to brush through my hair with one of her hands. I gripped her tighter. "It's okay, baby." She told me, adjusting her hold on me. "Please don't leave." "I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here." "You're not. You don't want to be here." "If I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't be here." "You're here because you feel like you have to be." I pulled away from her completely. "Why do I have to be here? I'm here because I want to be with you. Because we're in a relationship." "Just leave." "No." She turned back to her pie. "Leave." "No." "GET OUT!" I shouted at her.

"Scarlett... Take a minute." "I hate you." I spit at her.

CHARLOTTE'S POV

"I hate you." I knew she didn't mean it. I knew she was hurting or scared and I haven't been the most attentive girlfriend since our date night. I knew something was wrong the minute she came into the kitchen. I could sense it. "You don't hate me," I tell her softly. It hurt me to hear her say that to me. "I do." "You're scared... I know you. You're trying to push me away so you're in control of it if I leave. But I've told you before, I'm not leaving you. We're working through this. We'll get through it." "We've not even spoken in days! We've-"I need you to just take a minute." She would keep spiralling and I don't want to argue with her, nor do I want to sit back and take it and get hurt myself.

I slowly take a few steps towards her, her breaths were increasing. "It's okay. We're going to be okay." I tell her touching her arm. "I'm not leaving you. I promise." I knew she had insecurities, I knew this wouldn't be smooth sailing, I knew we'd face challenges I just thought that by now she would trust me. I cupped her face making her look at me. "It's okay," I tell her meaning it. "Just take a few breaths." I lead her to the stool's around the Island and sat her down. "Don't go." "I'm not," I assured her holding onto her hand as I reach for my glass of water that was nearby. I hand it to her. "Have a sip." I encouraged. "Scarlett." She nodded. "We can talk when you've had some rest okay." She noded. "I'll be up in a second, I'll just clean this up." She nodded again. I pecked her cheek.

I cleaned up and went upstairs to our bedroom. She was changing out of her jeans into sweats. I kicked off my jeans and picked up the sweats Scar brought in for me. "I don't hate you." She says looking at me. "I know. You don't have to push me away." I tell her, climbing into bed, I held the covers up so she can slip in next to me. "I know we've been in this odd place. But it doesn't mean we're over." "No one has ever stuck around through all this. Colin-"I'm not Colin. I'm not anyone else you've dated. I'm Lottie. And I'm not going to scream or fight you or hurt you because you're scared. This is real for me. I don't want to start again with anyone else. I don't want anyone but you. You're my Scar, You're my everything and that's not going to change." I squeezed her hand three times. "Why do you care so much?" "Because I do. Because I love you." "I'm a mess." "No, you're not. You're amazing. The best mum, you're strong, independent, attentive, loving, caring, protective. You're not a mess Scarlett." "I keep messing things up." "I mess things up too." "You fix things. I mess them up." "Baby...We're human, we make mistakes. But we need to fix them, and work through this." I look at her, she had been crying, I wiped them away letting go of her hand to do so before holding it again. "Just a bump in the road baby." She nodded, I lent to kiss her lips softly.