A Different Divergent Tale (Eric and Tris)

Chapter 22 (Eric's POV)

NEEDTOBREATHE —'Survival'

I wake in the morning to unusual surroundings.  The bed is smaller than mine and there's a lot of green in here.  I blink and stretch before sitting up.  I look around and see my bag on the dresser nearby and realize I'm at Tris's place.  I grin.  It was pretty fantastic staying here last night.  But I recall, how I had a strong urge to do something with her, something that never occurred to me before.  It was almost as if a picture flashed in my mind, a thought whispered in my ear.  I've got to admit I've thought about her before, what it'd be like in the future after marriage but this nasty picture of taking her innocence like that never had crossed my mind.  I actually had to shake it out of my head.  I'm ashamed I had that kind of thought about her, that I even considered listening to it.  I didn't follow through with it, I stopped and told her we shouldn't do this again.  She agreed.  I have to be careful from now on, more reserved with my actions.  I'd hate to put her on my lap like Four did and go too far.  I don't want to make her uncomfortable and I definitely don't want to lose her over something like that.  I sigh harshly rubbing my face with my hands.  Maybe I should talk to her about it.  I feel like that would be best but Christina is here, it might have to wait. 
I decide to get up—it's a little early but that's fine. I figure I should take my clothes in the bathroom.  I doubt the girls will be comfortable with me walking around in a towel.  I grab my things and walk down the hallway to the bathroom.  Their door is still closed.  I don't hear a sound.  I smile and set my things down.  I open the closet and grab a clean towel.  I set my shower kit in the stall and I see that frosted material she bought on the door.  I feel it from the inside—that's glass.  The outside has a texture.  She did a really good job on it.  It looks as if it's supposed to look like that.  I focus on hurrying up and I shower quickly.  I don't want to be standing here in a towel if they wake and need to use the bathroom so I dress halfway before styling my hair.  I start to shave when I hear the door open.  I look over to see Tris staring at me. 
"Do you need to use the bathroom?" I ask as I rinse off the shaving cream from my razor.
"Y... yeah," she says. 
I step out into the hallway.  "It's all yours," I tell her. 
She steps in quickly.  As I'm standing in the hall waiting for her to finish, her bedroom door opens quickly and Christina comes out. 
"Oh man, is she in there?" she asks me. 
"Yeah," I say. 
She bounces up and down saying, "Gotta pee, gotta pee."
I can't help the chuckle that bubbles out of my chest. 
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," she waves dismissively. 
The door opens a moment later and Tris laughs as Christina rushes in. 
"Sorry," Tris calls out as the door shuts.  She turns to me.  "Did you shower?"
"Yeah," I answer. 
"I'm next then," she says heading back to her room.  I see her picking out clothes and I grin at her, what will be added to her wardrobe today.  I imagine what tattoo she'll choose in the future, what style she'll go with. 
"Making eyes at her, huh?" Christina says grinning. 
"I was just imagining what her leadership tattoo will look like," I admit stepping back in the bathroom and continuing to shave. 
"How many blades does that thing have on it?" she asks me gesturing to my razor. 
"Five, I think?" I shrug. 
"Ouch," she exclaims wincing.  I continue to pay careful attention to what I'm doing. 
"What makes you say that?" I ask as I rinse the blade off again. 
She points to her leg.  "My new one has three.  That little demon got me last night," she jokes.  I sort of laugh and wince at the same time.  "So... leadership tattoos?" she asks raising an eyebrow.
I finish my face and rinse off using my towel to dry it and my chest.  I lift my chin and point to mine. 
"That's what those are for?" she asks surprised.  I nod pulling my shirt on.  I fix my hair and she's staring off.
"Yeah, not just anyone can get them.  Not just anyone can do them.  Tori did mine and I think Ryan said she was in training watching to do his.  I don't know about the rest, though," I tell her.  I slip on my vest, zipping it up and my holster. 
"Tris and I went to Tori's shop for all of ours," she nods.  "We got matching flames together." She shows me her arm lifting up her sleeve. I smile and remember seeing that Tris had a tattoo on her arm but I just noticed the edge of it.  I didn't look because I was too worried about her bruises.  That must've been it. 
I grab my things and toss them in my bag.  Tris is waiting outside in the hallway for me.  "Where do you want the towel?" I ask. 
"Just toss it in the washer," she shrugs.  She kisses my cheek and stops for a moment.  "You smell good," she says before she closes the door. 
I break out of my daze and toss the towel in the machine.  I walk to the kitchen sink and brush my teeth. I decide to wash up the dishes we shoved in there last night and put them away.
"Man, did she luck out with you," Christina teases walking into the living room with her bag in hand setting it down.
"Well, thank you. I feel the same about her," I explain.
"She... she told me some things last night about you two. I hope you don't mind," she admits.
"I'm fine with that," I say. "I'm actually glad she has someone to confide in. During initiation, she said she felt like she needed to talk to her brother, but he always made her feel like a fool. I'm sure he loves her, like I love my little sister, but I was afraid she didn't have anyone to talk with. I'm glad she has you," I tell her.
She makes a touched expression and actually reaches out and hugs me. I pat her back and she sighs releasing me.
She leans back against the island and looks like she's debating on saying something to me.
"Just say it," I insist casually. I don't want her thinking I'm ordering her around.
"She told me you called her the marrying type, said you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her," she admits.
"I did," I nod.
She smiles again. "How long have you liked her?"
"I was working out at the punching bag when I heard that you guys arrived. I wanted to go this year but Max insisted—said it was probably his last year to go. I still wanted to join him but he wanted to do it alone, so I relented. I was kind of pissed off and taking my anger out on the bag. I split my knuckles and I don't usually do that. Anyway, I heard you guys arrived and that the first jumper was a Stiff. I was told they didn't make a sound, just dropped like a rock. That's unheard of—to volunteer and not make a sound. Usually the first jumper doesn't know what to expect. They always scream—most of the rest, too. So I got cleaned up and came down to the cafeteria. I was going to come down and shake the Stiff's hand and tell him that he's done something unheard of in this faction. The dependents don't know much about initiation, it's all like a surprise. So, I open the door and I see her sitting there in grey. It was like love at first sight. She was gorgeous and brave. I wasn't even expecting a girl. I tried joking with her after Four introduced you both but I think I just scared her. She even told me before that she thought I was serious. Anyway, I waited until it was legal and I was going to ask her out. But Four beat me to it, because he cheated," I explain.
"Yeah, but you won in the end," she points out.
"True," I grin.
"So, I feel like I should tell you something. I hope you're not offended," she says.
"Shoot," I say folding my arms casually and leaning against the countertop behind me.
"I believe she's going to want to wait until marriage for intimacy," she says softly.
"Oh, we already had that talk. We're good," I nod.
"You did?" she says shocked. I nod. "How'd that come up?"
"I picked her up on my lap and didn't realize the position I set her in could be somewhat sexual," I admit. She's gaping at me. "She was uncomfortable, I apologized. She moved to where she was more comfortable and we had a detailed talk about her faith." I don't know why I say faith this time but I do.
"Really?" she smiles. I nod. "Are you okay with that?"
I nod but last night occurs to me. I have a strong feeling like I should tell her about it. "I... I was okay with waiting but last night was weird," I say.
"How so?" she asks.
"You were in the shower and I pulled Tris aside to just talk. It's like I lost control. I just went to kiss her and this indecent image of us flashed into my mind. It's not something I would've ever thought of on my own, though. It just popped in there. I can't really explain it. I had to step back and stop myself. It's almost like I couldn't breathe," I say and I look over to her eyes.
She's pursing her lips and I almost regret saying something like that to her friend. "Uh huh, it sounds like the Devil is whispering in your ear," she tells me.
"What?" I ask confused.
"Are you saved?" she asks.
"From what?" I question.
"From the Pit of Hell?" she asks.
I shake my head still a little confused. I think about what Tris told me about her religion. She said she didn't want to condemn me. But I recall that she believes our own actions condemn.
"How is one saved?" I ask for clarification.
"You've never been to church?" she asks curious.
"No, my parents were moral but they never took me that I can recall. When they died, my aunt Jeanine got us," I say.
"Jeanine... Matthews?" she asks.
I nod.
"Oooh, sweet Jesus," she says shaking her head. "Your aunt is mean."
"Yeah, I've got no love for her," I agree.
"So what do you believe, then?" she asks.
"I don't know," I shrug.
"Well, we believe in order to get to heaven, you have to believe in Jesus, then realize what you've done wrong, ask God for forgiveness, repent—which means to physically turn around," she says showing me in action. It's kind of funny like she's moving like a robot. I chuckle. "And stop doing the same old things."
"What should I do then?" I ask.
"Shake those demonic thoughts out of your head. Resist temptation and follow God," she says.
"What happens if I mess up again?" I ask.
"Repeat the steps again," she shrugs. "Resist the devil and he will flee from you."
"That's somewhat poetic," I comment.
"It's scriptural," she admits.
I nod. "That book feels... powerful."
"It is. It's got the keys to the Kingdom of Heaven in it," she nods.
I look back over to that book that's not just a book and stare at it in awe.
"Hey guys, are we all about ready?" Tris says coming down the hall. 
"I still need to brush my teeth," Christina tells her.  She motions to me to talk to Tris as she leaves.  I figure now is probably our only chance. 
"Okay," she responds.  "Eric, do I need to bring workout clothes or anything?"
"Our morning is booked.  We can see after lunch how you're feeling.  I don't want to push you too hard on your first day," I explain.  "If you feel fine after lunch, we could always come back here and get you some clothes."
"Okay," she nods.  "You know what I noticed?" I raise my eyebrows in question.  "That first day, I wasn't on... the pill.  After that, I really haven't been as tired or crying... I don't know.  I just don't feel so weird anymore.  It's almost as if it's leveled me out."
"Could be," I nod in thought.  "Maybe we could check in with Dana and ask the question?"
"Good idea," she agrees.  "Maybe I could ask her about next Sunday, too."
I nod and remember what I want to talk about.  I'm a little nervous about voicing it to her though.  "So... I mentioned something that happened to Christina," I begin. 
"Oh?  What happened?" she inquires. 
"I had a thought that I didn't think was my own.  Her response was that, The Devil was whispering in my ear," I divulge. 
She blinks and looks away.  "Yeah, I think he's messing with me, too."
Now, I'm the one blinking in surprise.  I don't really know how to respond to that.  It takes me a moment to form a reply.  "So, how do you deal with that?" I ask. 
"I used to tell him to go away.  He has no power over me," she responds. 
"Does he listen?" I ask. 
"Usually.  If it continues, I used to command him to leave in Jesus's name," she says. 
Her religion does sound complicated at times... others, it's kind of... nice. 
"Okay, my pearly whites are squeaky clean," Christina says.  "Let me put this in my bag and I'm good to go."
"I'm going to toss my bag in my apartment," I say.  I stop mid step and realize I didn't even say good morning or give her a real kiss yet.  I stride over to her and hug her.  "Good morning, by the way."
She laughs.  "Good morning," she says happily before kissing me herself.  I enjoy the moment of this affectionate expression, basking in the joy it brings me.  She sighs softly.  "I think it's going to be a good day."