A Different Divergent Tale (Eric and Tris)

Chapter 42

'My Hallelujah'—Bryan & Katie Torwalt

I wake earlier than usual to a loud ringing bell.  I roll over and slap the alarm.  I realize it's Sunday and I smile.  I make sure I properly turn off the alarm and rush to the bathroom getting ready for my day.  I wrap a towel around myself and step to my bedroom. I search through my nicer outfits for something decent enough to wear for church. I find a pretty shirt with a very slight collar—not enough to fold over but it stands on end. The placard has a somewhat ruffled fringe with a gathered, lacy-like design over the chest. The sleeves are capped just below my shoulders. My tattoos will probably show but I figure that this is prettydecent for Dauntless apparel. I choose the full skirt from my interview with leadership and decide this is a really nice outfit I picked out. I select a casual pair of flat dress shoes I got somewhere with Christina and a pair of knee high stockings I bought. I figure it'll be easier to get on and off the train if my mobility isn't limited. I dress quickly and dig in my drawer looking for one of the delicate scarves I bought. I remember how breezy it can be on the train cars and I don't want to do something special to my hair and have it ruined by the wind. I find one and set it on my bed. I step into the bathroom pulling out my pack of bobby pins. I attempt to style my hair similarly to how I saw it yesterday. It looked like the length was folded around the back of the head and just pinned into place. The girl I saw had a loose length on one side but I'm going to attempt to pull it all back in this manner by folding it again. I get all the pins in and I look from side to side admiring my work. It looks pretty good actually—even better than what I expected. I brush my teeth and begin to I pull out my makeup bags. I hear my phone ringing. I rush over to it and see it says unknown caller. I answer it anyway.

"Hello?"

"Tris? This is Dana."

"Oh... hi. What's going on?"

"Are you serious about coming with me?"

"Yes, of course. I'm actually almost ready to go down to breakfast."

I suddenly realize I didn't make any plans with anyone to walk me downstairs and I wince at my forgetfulness.

"Do you want me to meet you upstairs?"

"That would actually be perfect. I hadn't arranged for anyone to take me down."

"Alright. Which apartment is yours?"

I give her my address and I hang up relieved. I get out the same lipgloss from the other day and some of my new lighter makeup options. I complete my style in record time and decide to bring the gloss with me in one of my new purses just in case it rubs off from breakfast. I grab the purse Eric helped me choose. I tuck my lipgloss, my point card, and my phone in there. I also fold the scarf nicely and tuck it in. I see my holster set aside and I get out my conceal carry straps. I recall that this is leadership protocol for me to wear these—even to non-threatening events. Leadership must always be prepared. I attach one to each leg under my skirt and place my guns in each. It adds a little weight but it's not too bad. It feels like the higher I wear them on my legs, the easier it is to keep my balance.  I adjust them accordingly.
I step to the kitchen to take my vitamins when I hear a knock on my door. I walk to the door to open it and I'm surprised at who's standing there.
"Good morning," she says.
I blink in awe. "Good morning, Dana," I reply.  She looks just like I thought she would without the heavy black makeup and with shorter natural brown hair.  She's beautiful and so different from before. "You look really nice." She smiles at me in response. "You want to come in? I was just about to take my vitamin."
"Sure," she nods.
She steps in and closes the door. I grab my vitamin bottle and a glass of water.
"Your place is really nice," she compliments.
"Thank you. I had Hannah Pedrad and my friend Christina pick out mostly everything. Eric helped a bit though," I explain.
She nods and continues looking around. I open the vitamin bottle and take out one. I swallow it with the water.
"Which kind are you taking?" she asks. I show her the bottle. "That's a really good one."
I smile in reply and grab my keys. "You ready?" I ask.
"Sure," she nods. I open the door and we step out. I lock up and we walk down the hall.
"Is the elevator okay?" I ask. "Eric doesn't really want me taking many stairs."
"Really?" she asks surprised. I press the call button and wait.
"Yeah, well I did almost fall down the Pit stairs twice. It was a good thing he was there since he caught me and stopped me from falling," I say.
She stares at me in shock. I force a smile. We enter the elevator and go down in silence. As the doors open to the main level of the Pit, I notice that this is the quietest I think I've seen it in a while. There are few people up and moving around. We walk to the cafeteria.
"Is it always this empty on Sundays?" I ask.
"Usually. Everyone is sleeping off their hangovers and good times," she shrugs. "I usually go to bed early on Saturdays."
"You don't really go out with friends?" I ask.
"I don't have many friends," she admits. "I've got my co-workers in the infirmary but we generally work opposite shifts.  Other times when our shifts overlap are usually really busy."
I frown at that. "You're welcome to join me next time we go out," I suggest.
"Thanks for the offer," she smiles genuinely.
We arrive at the cafeteria line. I notice waffles are out. I take one with a piece of sausage and a cup of fruit. I get a glass of milk. We step out and I realize that the cafeteria is mostly empty.
"You want to sit with me?" Dana suggests. "I know you're supposed to sit up there but nobody is really here."
"Sure," I agree. "I haven't sat down here in a while. It would probably be lonely up there."
Dana actually smiles at me. We take a seat at the first table and I realize I've never even seen her in the cafeteria before.
"Do you usually eat in the cafeteria?" I ask.
"Yes," she nods after chewing. "I have the early shifts so I'm usually up at about this time every weekday. I work from eight to five. Saturdays I work the mid-shift only, from ten to seven. Sundays I take off. I have breakfast and dinner before and after each shift. They generally deliver lunch for me and any patients in the infirmary."
I nod in understanding, chewing my bite of waffle. "I didn't know they delivered food there. Do we ever have anyone staying for extended periods of time?" I inquire.
"Sometimes. If someone breaks a bone or has a serious injury. We have the food delivered there. There's always someone working in the infirmary. It's one of the only places within the Pit that never closes," she explains.
"Like the security offices," I nod.
"Yeah, they can be a great help," she agrees. She looks as if debating on telling me something.
I stay quiet eating my breakfast and letting her decide.
"There was an injury a while back. A girl got hurt and she needed more help than what we could do in the infirmary. The control room found her and sent security guards. I attended to her and rode with her to the hospital in an armored truck," she explains.
"Eric told me about this, I think," I tell her.
She blinks in surprise, "He did?"
"Was she the girl who got attacked in the Pit?" I ask gently. "The one who was beaten and violated."
She blinks again and nods. "Why... why did Eric tell you about that?" she inquires confused.
"Four called Eric a murderer. I asked Eric if he'd ever had to execute anyone. His response was that the criminal responsible for harming her was executed. He said Max carried out the sentence but Eric was present and supported him," I explain before eating a bite of sausage.
"You mean they caught the perpetrator?" she asks surprised.
"And executed him according to Eric," I nod meeting her eyes.
She looks shocked. "I didn't know that... I never knew. I just saw what happened to her and helped her survive the drive," she tells me.
I smile. "Is she okay?" I inquire.
"Yeah but she sees a therapist regularly," she admits.
"Eric told me that after that incident, they've increased security at all times in the Pit," I say eating a bite of fruit.
"They increased security?" she questions. I nod. "Because of that?" I nod again. "I hadn't realized."
As we finish up our breakfast, I notice some people starting to arrive at the cafeteria. We pick up our trays putting them away. I see Lydia and Hale entering the cafeteria.
"Good morning," I say waving to them.
"Morning," they both reply. "Where are you off to so early?" Lydia asks.
"Church," I smile. "See you later."
"Bye," Lydia waves.
Dana and I step out of the cafeteria but she looks a little nervous. "Is everything okay?" I ask.
"Why wouldn't everything be okay?" she questions.
"You look uncomfortable," I say softly.
"I'm fine," she attempts to smile.
We cross the mostly empty Pit where people are slowly starting to trickle in. We arrive at the small staircase that leads to the ground level at the train tracks.
"Are you okay going up?" Dana asks.
"I think so. I'm pretty sure I'm used to the growth but I think Eric's just being extra cautious with me," I say.
"I'll follow behind just in case," she tells me.
"Thanks," I reply walking up carefully. I actually do just fine and open the door. The fresh air is wonderful and it's so bright out. I decide to pull out my scarf and wrap it around my hair so I don't forget later. I reapply my lipgloss since I know most of it wiped off at breakfast. 
"We've got about five minutes until the train arrives," she says.
"Okay," I nod. I notice she carries a large bag. "What did you bring?" I inquire.
"A blanket. I don't want to ruin my clothes. The floor is usually pretty dirty on the train," she says.
"Good idea. I didn't even think of that," I admit.
"I've only forgotten a few times and paid for it with filthy clothes in church. I always try to remember," she grins.
"Should I bring one next time, too?" I ask.
"This should be big enough to share," she says.
I smile in response.
"So... I kind of heard a rumor going around about you. I was wondering if it was true," Dana says playing with a string on her bag.
"What rumor?" I ask.
"That you and Eric are together," she says shyly.
"It's true," I admit. I notice her face pale but she tries to hide it. "You don't like Eric, do you?"
She continues to play with the string. I hear the blare of the train arriving and I start to run. As it comes closer, I pick up the pace. I grab on to an opened door. I see a few guards jumping out and I pull myself in. Dana follows.
"You did well on your own," she compliments.
"Thanks," I reply.
I watch as she closes the doors on our now empty train car. I see some muddy bootprints scattered around the car. Dana chooses the cleanest spot and spreads out her blanket. I sit in the spot beside her.
I realize how she's behaved around Eric in the past, how she didn't answer my question about him. I feel like she's uncomfortable around leadership and it occurs to me, maybe she knows Eric's relationship to Jeanine and is afraid of him and leadership like Four was.
"Dana?" I ask.
"Yes," she answers.
"How do you feel about Jeanine Matthews?" I inquire.
"That all depends. I know who she is in relation to your boyfriend," she says.
"Who is she in relation to you?" I ask.
"She's somebody who hates my family because we're Christians," she admits.
I sigh in relief. "So you don't work for her?" I confirm.
She blinks surprised. "I left that faction to get as far away from her as I could," she admits.
"Yeah," I nod. "That's why Eric wants me to avoid Erudite at all cost, too."
"Doesn't he work for her?" she asks confused.
I recall that there are no cameras on the trains and I feel like I can say anything I want to her here.
"No, he hates her," I tell her.
"He does?" she questions surprised.
I nod.
I feel like I ought to tell her everything, like she's someone I can trust. So I do. I ask her about Divergence and she pales at first. I tell her about me and how leadership is protecting me. She admits Divergence is the main reason she left Erudite. She says that Jeanine took her boyfriend at the end of his initiation and she's never seen him again. She decided to leave the next year and she's been hiding out in Dauntless since her initiation.
"You don't need to hide from them," I tell her.
"Well, that's a relief," she laughs. "No more pretending to be someone else."
"I like you better like this. You seem more real," I say.
"Yeah, I never wear the wigs and dark makeup to church. Maybe I won't anymore if I don't have to," she says.
"Nobody will recognize you but me," I giggle.
She chuckles, too.
She gets out some sort of handheld music player and we listen to all sorts of songs she has on there—all Christian songs. I actually recognize many of them but they're a more modern style than the traditional music I remember being played at church.
"So... how serious are you about Eric?" she asks.
"I love him," I admit.
She smiles sadly at me.
"It sounds like he's a nicer guy than I thought but I feel like I should tell you something, something maybe your parents never told you," she says. I nod in encouragement. "The Bible tells us not to be unevenly yoked to someone. If he's not a believer, it may be difficult for you to be in a relationship with someone like that. He won't always understand. It may cause a rift if you want to do something for God and he doesn't think it matters. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
I nod. "Yeah," I say sadly. "He couldn't understand why I would want to come here—especially with the danger of being close to Jeanine. He had me get these." I motion to my concealed holsters and she nods surprised that I'm wearing them. "But he's letting me make my own choices and he's supporting me whether he agrees with me or not."
"That's good. At least he's making concessions," she nods. "But what happens if at some point he doesn't?"
"It's something to think about," I say.
We remain quiet for the rest of the ride, just listening to the music. My heart kind of hurts in sadness at the thought that things might not work out with Eric. If I had to choose between him and God... I would definitely pick my God. The thought depresses me even more that that could ever be a possibility.
'God, what do I do? I love Eric but I will always choose you first. How do I deal with this? Help me,' I pray.
I see Erudite coming into view.
"Not yet. We can get up, though," Dana says standing. I rise as well and help her gently shake off the blanket and fold it up. "This is our stop up ahead. We'll just step off. Be careful, though."
"Okay," I reply. I walk to the door and open it. The wind blows a little—not nearly as much as it was getting on. I step out onto the grass and Dana follows a moment later.
"This way," she says. We walk side by side down the sidewalk on an empty street. I can actually see the cross from the top of the church in the distance. As we approach, it looks exactly how I had always remembered it. The ancient, light-colored stone structure towers over the street and all the nearby buildings. It has cement steps with a decorative black metal railing. I walk up the stairs carefully admiring the beautiful stained glass windows. I open the large wooden door and recall the familiar scent of wood cleaner and incense. I close my eyes and I can feel the presence of God stronger in here than I've felt in so long. My heart is so light and at peace. I feel as if God is telling me that he's glad I'm here and that everything will be okay.
I open my eyes and step in past the blue carpeted foyer into the sanctuary. I admire the tall ceilings with all the decorative carvings and woodwork. The stained glass windows glow with picturesque biblical scenes. I see a large wooden cross at the altar behind the podium. I sigh at the familiar sights, happy to be back.
I notice a few people already here. Some are praying. Some are talking to other church members. I observe a man in grey sitting in the front pew and I gravitate over to him. Dana smiles at me and nods in understanding, giving us a moment. I walk to the aisle from the side of the building. I step down the aisle and notice his head bowed in prayer, hands clasped. I sit close beside him and wait my turn. I see his lips move as he speaks to God and I smile. He looks a little weighed down but still about the same. I notice his Bible between us. It's the exact same one Eric has but my dad's is much more worn—probably from use. I grasp it in my hands and flip to the back to see the maps are ripped out. I feel the edges of the torn pages thinking how sad it is that they're no longer there.
"Beatrice?" my dad whispers in shock.
"Dad," I say setting the book down.
He reaches out and hugs me tightly, the tightest I can ever remember. I feel a kiss to my head and I hold him as well. I remember the last time he kissed me like this, coming home for dinner the night of my aptitude test.
"I've missed you," he says softly.
"I miss you, too," I admit.
He laughs lightly and just holds me for a few moments. He slowly releases me and looks me over.
"Hiding you hair?" he laughs tugging at my scarf.
"No. I figured the train would ruin it," I say untying the scarf and setting it aside with my bag.
"You look beautiful," he says.
"Thank you. You look nice in your suit," I comment.  I remember that he only wore those for church and the seminars. He grins in reply.
"You have a tattoo," he says noticing my Dauntless flames.
"I have several," I tell him. I pull back my collar and show him my ravens. "You, Mom, and Caleb," I say motioning to each.
His eyes soften at that. I turn and show him my Abnegation tattoo. He actually reaches out and grasps my arm caressing the helping hands of his chosen faction. He appears touched that I would do this. "You and mom will always be a part of me," I explain.
He nods in understanding.
"Our newspaper will be released tomorrow in Dauntless. Eric will give Mom some copies. You can copy and distribute them within your faction if you'd like. There's an article in there about what Erudite said about you. You'll enjoy it. Candor probably will, too. I was actually interviewed this time," I tell him.
He laughs in surprise. "I look forward to it," he says. "So... about you and Eric..."
"Not you, too?" I say softly, almost worriedly.
He looks at me confused. "I like him, although I'm not sure what he believes."
I nod in understanding. "He seems curious. He's willing to talk with me and listen," I explain.
"Well, that's encouraging," he grins.
We sit in silence for a moment and I realize... "Where's Mom?" I ask.
"She's setting up for tomorrow," he says. "They're getting a space ready for feeding the Factionless. I'm going to try to get her to come next week. I've... got something to apologize to you for."
"What's that?" I ask confused.
"Your mother and I... over the years, we'd lost sight of what was truly important. She may disagree with me but the last several years, we were focusing too much on works. I know that's important in our faction, but in our faith we ought to spend more time with God in worship and prayer. I feel like our lives had become works centered and not centered on loving God," he explains.
I nod in understanding remembering something in the Bible about not focusing on works, so no one can boast. Perhaps he was putting good deeds above God—like an idol or something—and I fully understand now. He was forgetting what's most important—to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength.
Dana joins us. She introduces me to her parents—Tony and Angela Metcalf.
"It's nice to meet you," I say standing and shaking both of their hands.
An older Erudite woman walks into the sanctuary from a side room wearing a lovely, pale blue dress and a silver jacket. She's gorgeous with beautiful golden hair like mine with several white-grey streaks. She has my father's nose and eyes. I realize I know her.
"Grandma?" I rise moving closer to her.
"Beatrice," she whispers. She reaches out for me and hugs me. "You've gotten so big," she says and I laugh in surprise. "Well, at least since the last time I saw you. You're still a skinny little thing. You should eat more."
"Yes, Grandma," I nod.
She smiles at me. "I can't believe you're in Dauntless. Your father has been here every week praying for you and Caleb," she tells me.
"Have you seen him?" I ask.
"We finally can now that initiation is over. I've yet to hear where he's been placed, just rumors about the Prior boy being close to Jeanine—a very scary placement indeed," she says.
"Yeah, I've heard," I nod.
"How have you heard? I just found out yesterday," she asks me confused.
"Jeanine told my boyfriend—her nephew," I admit.
"You're seeing young Eric?" she inquires. I nod. "Well, he's quite a looker."
I smile at my grandmother complimenting my boyfriend.
"Let's take our seats.  Your grandfather is about to begin," she ushers me back to our pew. They place me between them, my father scooting down. I look over my shoulder to see quite a few people have joined us. The pews are over half full. The sight makes me smile.
I see my grandpa step out from the same door and walk in front of the congregation. He looks exactly how I remember him—just a little more grey than I recall. He looks just like an older version of my father. He's wearing a traditional black robe and he carries reading glasses. He has a blue tie on underneath with a white collared dress shirt peeking out from beneath his robe. His coordination reminds me of Candor with a hint of Erudite.
He steps up to the podium in greetings. He welcomes us all and encourages us to open our hymnal. I reach out but my father and grandmother already have grabbed them. I share with my grandma and sing the familiar songs together with her. Her voice is rich and strong and I smile at how beautiful it is. The organ accompaniment is comforting and familiar.  I continue to sing and find my voice once more, remembering how much I enjoyed singing in church.  The songs conclude and we take our seats. 
My grandfather leads us in a prayer and I smile, recalling how wonderful it felt to be so transparent and pray aloud.  I agree with his words in prayer and he opens his Bible. 
He speaks on peace, reading several scriptures about it. I see my grandmother and father get out their Bibles and turn to the pages to read along. He speaks on how Jesus came to bring us peace, not from the problems of this world but an inner peace. Jesus lived in a time of oppression and people believed the Messiah would deliver them from their worldly oppression. He came to free our souls from the troubles of this life. He offers us freedom from sin and a new vision for how to live. He shows us a new life. Instead of living in fear, we ought to live a life of sacrifice and love for one another, putting others first and forgiving our enemies.
I smile as he concludes in prayer. I realize how glad I am that I came, how happy I am to be here.
After the service concludes, he comes straight over to see me. He hugs me and I realize how much taller he is than me, my grandma too. He promises to come and talk to me after he greets a few people.
I look over to Dana. "Don't worry. We have time," she says. I smile in reply.
I sit down with my father and ask a few questions—about works and inner peace. He explains that there should be a balance between what we do. That we ought to spend our time with God but not to give it up entirely to focus on other things. God should always be first, then everything else will fall into place. I hug him once more.
"Your mother will be so disappointed that she missed you," he tells me.
"Natalie's loss is my gain," my grandmother says hugging me again. I notice how she towers over me and I realize that Dana was right. I am small compared to my family.
We talk a bit more, telling them how I'm doing in Dauntless and hearing about how things are going in Erudite and Abnegation. My grandpa joins us again but without the robe. He's wearing a navy blue suit and I find it comforting to see the appropriate Erudite colors on him, as if the black just didn't feel right. We get reacquainted and they spend lots of time showering me with affection.
"Her voice is as beautiful as ever, Ethan," my grandma tells my grandpa.
"I wouldn't expect anything less from our little girl, Denise," he grins. "She used to go up on Communion Sundays and sing with the choir, remember?"
"That's right. I completely forgot. She had such a lovely voice as a little girl. It's more rich now, mature—but still as beautiful as I remember," Grandma gushes.
I laugh in embarrassment but I do remember a choir and singing with them. Church was the only place I was allowed to sing, unless I was practicing at home for church. Otherwise, singing wasn't allowed in Abnegation.
We talk a little more and they encourage me to come back next week. "Next Sunday, we're having a potluck meal. We hope you join us for lunch," Grandma says.
"Maybe I'll bring something special. My mom did say she liked the Dauntless cake," I reply.
"I've heard about this," my dad nods smiling.
"She never snuck you a piece?" I ask surprised.
"She intended to once," he grins laughing. "But she said the hour long train ride was too tempting."
"She ate it?" I chuckle.
"She did," my father nods trying not to laugh.
"I'll have to figure out how to get a cake on the train," I grin sneakily.
"It might be a pancake if you're not careful," grandpa teases. I laugh in surprise. Maybe I get my sense humor from him.
Dana waves me on. "Oh, it looks like we have to go," I say sadly. "I'll see you next Sunday, though." I hug them all goodbye and we hurry out the doors.
I actually take the steps two at a time and I surprise myself at my speed and accuracy—rather than my clumsiness. We round the corner and I already see the train in sight heading in the direction for home. We rush to the train and step inside. I sigh that we made it. We're in the very last car.
I close all of the doors and Dana tosses the blanket out. I take the seat beside her again.
"I've got to make sure we leave early next time. We miss this train and we're stuck in Erudite for an hour during lunch," Dana says messing with her music player.
"That'd be kind of scary," I admit. "We could take the bus but it'd take even longer to get home. Plus, does it even make a stop near Dauntless?"
"It doesn't. The closest stop is on the outskirts of Abnegation. That's a half hour drive," she says.
"What about Candor?" I ask. "It's on the opposite boarder of Dauntless."
"I don't know. I haven't really been there before," she admits. "When did you go?"
"I've gone a few times to the Merciless Mart with my dad but more recently with Eric. He likes to jog around all of Dauntless," I tell her.
"You can jog that?" she asks.
"Yeah, we do it in about thirty minutes to an hour," I shrug.
"You leaders have some serious energy," she comments in awe. "I thought the boarder around Dauntless was huge."
"It is pretty big," I nod smiling.
Dana plays some music and we sit together listening for a while.
"Tris?" she says.
"Yeah," I reply.
"I didn't mean to get between you and Eric. I just know who his family is. She's very... anti-Christian. I'm not sure about him. I guess I always assumed they were like-minded. It's none of my business, but it's one of the many reasons I don't date in Dauntless. I've been to both churches in town and there is no Dauntless presence at either. We're the only two I know of," Dana tells me.
"My friend Christina was planning on going to Candor today. Perhaps she coaxed her boyfriend into going," I smile.
"Maybe," she grins.
"Eric... he's curious. He asks a lot of questions. I've actually explained what I believe to him in great depths," I elaborate.
"That's good. At least he's willing to hear you out. Maybe there is hope for him," she agrees.
I hope so. We sit together listening to music, making small talk and occasionally singing. I really enjoy my time with her.