A Different Divergent Tale (Eric and Tris)

Chapter 45

I wake early Monday morning. I get up and get going on my routine. As I wash my hair, I think about yesterday—how Dana and even my father were asking about what Eric believes. I honestly don't want to really admit it to myself. I know where he stands but perhaps he's seeking... He did ask to join me next week. He listened to everything I've told him before and asks questions. He even spent a small fortune on clothes just to dress appropriately for the services. It means so much to me that he's making the effort.
'What if he doesn't believe?' I hear myself ask.
I was praying so much yesterday for him—lost deep in thought. I felt like God wasn't answering my prayer. I knew I probably wouldn't receive an instant answer but I really hoped I would. When I got ready for bed, I recalled that God answers all prayers just not in the timing we hope for. His answers are either: yes, no, or wait. I'm so incredibly grateful to not receive a no. So, my assumption is wait. I smile at that. At least it's hopeful.
I finish getting ready, dressing in workout clothes and taking my vitamin. Eric's not here yet so I search my bookcase for his Bible. It's not there and I suddenly remember that it's in his apartment, along with several others. I decide that since he's not here, I'll just go to his apartment and read while I wait.
I unlock his door. I hear a door close as I step in and the shower starts up. I smile that I have some time. I look to his bookcase and see they're all up there. I reach up and can just graze them with my fingers. It takes a little finagling but I pull the one I want down and also grab the surrounding books. I sit down on his sofa and open the standard Bible up. I look in the concordance for the word yoke. I find something in Matthew and start there. It reads:

'"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.'" Matthew 11:28-30 NIV

I smile at that. It isn't exactly what I'm looking for but it helps substantially. I read several others that aren't exactly what I'm looking for. I decide to stick to the New Testament since there's so much about yokes in here. I find something from one of Paul's letters. It reads:

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" 2 Corinthians 6:14 NIV

I finish reading and sigh sadly. I close my eyes. Dana and my dad are right. I knew it the moment I heard it—I kind of felt it, too. But Eric is willing to come. I guess I'll see what happens. I'm hopeful since he's making such a commitment. He didn't just wear the suit he already had. He bought five more plus accessories. The cost alone is a serious commitment to join me there. He could've worn something else, too. I did see some young men in a shirt and tie with dress pants, now that I think about it. I hear the bathroom door open and I'm tempted to get up to see him but I feel like God wants me to stay right where I am. I look at the list in the concordance again. I decide to read that passage from Matthew once more since it was so encouraging. I read it several times and meditate on it with my eyes closed. I hear Eric approach me and I open my eyes to him entering the living room.
"Good morning," he laughs surprised that I'm here.
"Good morning," I smile.
He sits next to me and kisses me gently. I feel a stirring in my heart at the contact. "What are you reading?" I show him the Bible and he laughs softly. "I mean which part?"
"I was looking through the concordance about yokes," I admit.
"You mean like the egg thing again?" he questions.
I chuckle a little. "No, not yolk, yoke. It's how you harness a work animal. Sometimes two are put together for a plow. It's used in farming. I've seen them do it in Amity," I explain.
"Oh," he says surprised. "So what exactly are you reading about?" He motions to the opened page I'm on currently. I'm actually grateful or I'd have to explain this whole situation to him. That's something I'm definitely not ready for. 
I read the scripture I was looking over in Matthew to him. He looks at the words on the page as I read slowly, at a normal pace.
"Why are those words in red and these words in black?" he questions.
I smile at how incredibly observant he is. "Because those are the words of Jesus," I tell him.
"Really?" he questions dumbfounded. "How... how do you know for sure that's what he said?"
"This is the gospel of Matthew," I explain. I flip over past Mark and Luke to John. "This is the gospel of John. They were both disciples of his. They were eyewitnesses. John was even at his trial and crucifixion."
He looks seriously at me, as if he believes me and then turns to the book itself, focusing on the words. He reads it for himself. "That's unbelievable," he tells me.
I smile at him. "So, what's the plan today?" I ask setting the Bible aside when he's finished.
"Your mom will be here around nine-thirty. Max says he has the case of Abnegation newspaper copies ready. He also says they're already spreading around the faction like crazy. I figured we could go for a jog first, eat breakfast, then meet with Abnegation and the cafeteria staff, work out, shower, and then lunch. I'll walk you to the security office if you're still willing, then I'll go meet Jax and everyone up in surveillance," Eric explains.
I nod in understanding. "That'll work," I reply.
"Jax has four guards that will be present. They'll escort you upstairs afterwards until I finish with everything before joining you. You should be fine," he tells me.
"Okay," I nod.
Eric rises and pulls me to standing before kissing me again. I feel an ache in my heart, a yearning. 'God, please help him to see you. I can't imagine a life without him,' I pray.
He smiles at me as we part. I smile back not worrying about it. It's in God's hands. We step out his door and he locks up.
"Stairs?" he asks me.
"Sure," I shrug. I lead the way down. He's right beside me as we jog down the staircase. I follow him out a different door a floor above the Pit level. We jog down a residential hallway in our building and I find out the second floor leads to the ground level outside. We exit the door to outside our building and I see the Pit level has shorter windows but they still get light here. I follow Eric as we head through the apartment buildings outside, then the separate homes. We jog side by side and I see our typical path on the outskirts of Dauntless. I run a little faster since I definitely have the energy today. Eric keeps in step with me. Several people wave to us as we pass. I see some school aged teens and a little younger running to catch the train as we come up beside it. We slow down and let it pass before crossing the tracks and running around the outskirts of the industrial area closer to Candor. I can see the creek in the distance—the remnants of the river—and the bridges running over them. Some have collapsed with age and others still stand. Those that are usable were in good enough condition in the recent past to refurbish and reinforce. We jog on to the residential area once more. Dauntless is almost shaped like a target—the Pit is in the center, detached apartments surround that, and homes are in the outermost area. The industrial area is the only exception to the space with it making up a small section jutting out from the Pit in the direction of Candor. We make it back around all the way to where we started, then we wind our way back within the inner circles of Dauntless territory, taking us to the training room.
We jog to the side door and Eric tosses me a bottle of water as we enter. I drink approximately half of it. He passes me a hand towel. I wipe my face and neck but I'm not too sweaty. He seems a little more than me but he finishes his bottle and wipes off, too.
"Breakfast?" he asks as he tosses his towel in the laundry bin. I nod, dropping mine as well and walking with him.
We head through the Pit and get into the line. I get a plate of scrambled eggs, potatoes, bacon, and there are some sort of pastries. I choose the cherry and cream cheese one before I get a small glass of milk. We go to sit down and Eric puts his hand at my waist. I notice Four's eyes on me. I'm sure he's wondering if I'll show up but I'm definitely mentioning how irritating I find his constant staring at me. Eric and I sit down together.
"Late breakfast?" Ryan asks Eric confused.
"We're assisting with the food giveaway," he replies.
"That's today?" Ryan asks.
Eric nods.
I start on my eggs and realize they could use some salt. I grab the shaker and notice that we missed Lydia, Max, and Jude.
"Eric?" I ask him.
He hums a reply.
"What happened last night with Jude?" I inquire quietly.
"I'll see you guys later," Ryan says. He pats Eric on the back before leaving.
"Bye," I say to him.
When he's out of sight, Eric leans over to me. "I'm not supposed to say anything," Eric whispers to me. "But I'm not keeping any secrets from you." I smile at the admission and the tickle from his breath. "I stumbled on a very large sealed brick box. It turns out that it was intentionally sealed by the founding fathers. It's the entranceway to an underground prison. We're not supposed to unearth it unless we have the ability to care for those incarcerated."
He leans back and starts back on his plate.
"What do we do with them now?" I ask. "I know we have some stay for up to a couple weeks in lockup and some get expelled to Factionless, but what other choices do we have?"
"Execution if the offense is severe enough," he explains.
"That's it?" I ask confused.
"Pretty much," he sighs.
"So... we really don't have a good way of dealing with prisoners currently," I state.
"Yeah," he agrees. "That would be better. We'll have to see how the census goes."
"When are we distributing that?" I ask.
"Max and the office staff are working on making copies to distribute this morning. They've probably begun by now. We'll start as soon as we have significant quantities printed to begin distribution. They'll probably hand them out today, giving stacks to employers," he tells me.
"Why don't we take them door to door?" I ask. "That way everyone is covered."
"That's a lot of homes to go to," he points out. "Just the manpower alone would be problematic. If we distribute at workplaces, it'll probably go smoother. We can send case upon case to the security offices since they have the most employees. Then each workplace will request enough for their staff. We'll make the announcement tonight that we're to fill out one form for each family or household. Roommates are different. We'll explain it in the announcement, though," he tells me.
I nod and finish my eggs. I notice the cafeteria is thinning out. Four is gone and so are all of my friends. There's a few security guards coming in. I oddly see Peter Hayes in the group.
I nudge Eric and motion to him.
"You know, I really wanted to kick him out," he tells me.
"Yeah, I figured as much," I reply. I take a bite of my pastry. It's buttery, flaky, and sweet. "These are so good."
"What kind did you get?" he asks me.
"Cherry and cream cheese," I say.
He takes a bite of mine without permission from my hand. "Yeah, I agree," he says after chewing the bite.
I chuckle at him. I'm sure he knows I probably won't finish it. "What kind are yours?" I inquire.
"Lemon and raspberry," he points to the two on his plate.
"Those sound good, too," I tell him.
He offers me a bite of the raspberry. I take it. "I didn't see those," I tell him.
He grins at me. We finish up and Eric takes the last couple bites of my cherry pastry that I can't finish. We put our trays in the return and head through the employee entrance. I step in to see my mother entering through the door in the back.  She comes straight over to me and hugs me. 
"Your father is right.  You are taller," she laughs hugging me. 
"A little bit," I smile holding on tightly to her. 
"So... I hear you're training for leadership," she says still holding me. 
"Yeah," I reply.  My mom won't let go and I laugh. 
"I miss my baby," she says softly. 
I look to Eric and he's grinning at our encounter. 
She releases me but still holds both of my hands.  "Where's you new place?" she asks. 
I open my mouth to answer but Eric beats me to it.  "She's across the hall from me.  I have Egan's old place," he explains. 
She nods.  "That place has been empty for a long time," she says. 
"Yeah, the floors were like Mrs. Lewis's," I tell her. 
She winces.  "I wish I would've noticed earlier on.  She was always such a sweet, quiet lady.  She never asked for help—even when she really needed it," Mom comments. 
"Yeah," I agree softly. 
Eric handles the introductions with the cafeteria staff.  I handle the Abnegation introductions since I know everyone present.  My mother checks the packages.  Everything looks to be in order.  We assist with loading the boxes up into their vehicle.  I find the last box set out and I open it.  I hand my mother a copy of our paper and I smile as she reads.  She flips it over and I know she sees the picture of Eric and me together first.  She looks back to us happily.  Then, she notices the other article. 
"Your father will be so happy to see this," she tells me. 
"I'm glad we could counteract that awful article from a while ago," I say.  I see Eric load the box of newspapers into the truck and I reach out and hug my mother again. 
"Have you freshened up your apartment?" she asks me. 
"I've cleaned it but I'm planning on painting on Saturday," I tell her. 
Eric comes back and joins us. 
"Okay," she smiles.  "Don't forget to call me if there's ever anything you need."  She makes sure to meet my eyes. 
"Of course," I nod even though I probably shouldn't. 
"I'll be home Saturday.  Your father convinced me to take the day off along with Sunday.  He thinks I'm overworked," she laughs. 
"We'll see you at church, right?" I question. 
"Of course.  Your father won't let me miss again," she grins.  "How's the security going, Eric?" she asks him. 
"We've been secure.  Leadership all took turns making it so this weekend.  I'm assisting in training today with our new staff so everything should be running smoothly from now on," he explains. 
"We'll definitely have to meet. Mr. Eaton is hoping to visit with Dauntless as soon as possible, this week if you're able," my mother says. 
"Wednesday or Friday should work for us.  I don't think anyone else has anything going that's more important," Eric tells her. 
"Just call the offices.  I won't be in all day," Mom says motioning to the truck.  "But anyone else could schedule it.  I'll of course be joining for that meeting."
"I'll let you know after training today," Eric tells her.
She actually hugs him, then me once more holding on a little longer. 
"Don't forget.  Call me for anything," my mom insists. 
"Of course," I laugh.  "See you later this week."  I wave to her and she exits the door toward the truck. 
Eric and I start walking out of the kitchen in the opposite direction.  I step through the staff exit door first. 
"Funny running into you here," a familiar voice says beside the door. 
I sigh in irritation looking over to the figure leaning against the wall as I'm standing in the doorway holding the door open. 
"Funny isn't the word I'd choose, Peter," I reply. 
"It looks like you're famous," he says holding up a copy of the paper. 
"I'm going to be a leader here.  Nothing is private," I tell him crossing my arms. 
"So... you and Eric, huh?" he grins facing me and leaning his arm against the wall. 
"Yes," I nod. 
"Is there something you want, Peter?" Eric asks from inside the doorway.  I step forward enough for him to lean out and make eye contact with Peter. 
"No, just making small talk," he shrugs nonchalantly. 
"Good.  Don't pester my girl anymore.  We've got a full schedule today," Eric says putting his arm around my shoulder protectively and leading me on.  I continue with him not caring about anything to do with Peter Hayes. 
We get to the training room speedily.  We start out at the bags.  I review the moves I already know before Eric shows me something new.  I practice with my entire repertoire.  I feel like we're there forever.  I wipe my face with a towel and down some water.  I get back to the bag and do another round of kicks when Eric decides to take me to the mat. 
I remove my shoes and socks, Eric does the same.  We get into fighting stances and he encourages me to make the first move. I step to the side and we pace each other for a moment. I sweep at his leg but he moves. I punch toward him and attempt to elbow him. He deflects it but he grins at me. His eyes shift for a moment, telling me we have an audience. I keep my attention on him so I'm not humiliated in front of whoever decided to observe us today. He attempts to punch me and I block but it was a fake.
"Come on, sweetheart. I know you can do better than this," he teases for only me to hear. "Show me some new moves," he encourages.
"Alright," I answer.
I focus on him and our practice, not the audience. I punch and kick at him. He blocks but nods in encouragement. I do a roundhouse kick and he barely deflects.
He laughs in surprise, "I knew you were fast."
He does the same moves at me and I dodge, block and counter with other moves.
We continue on and I notice from my peripheral vision that our crowd has grown. We're both panting when he says, "Okay, let's take a break."
I nod and reach for my towel. I hear some clapping around us. I continue to ignore it. My training isn't for their entertainment. I grab my bottle of water and finish it off.
"You want another one?" Eric asks taking my empty bottle from my hand.
"Sure," I shrug. "But I probably won't finish it."
"I will," he replies. I watch as he walks over, recycles our bottles, and gets two more.
"You've improved," Peter says from below me on the mat.
"Thanks?" I say surprised that he's complimenting me.
"Eric seems to be a good trainer," he compliments. "Better than Four."
"I agree," I tell him.
"Here you go, sweetheart," Eric says behind me. He puts the bottle in my hand and I feel a kiss to the top of my head.
"Thanks," I reply angling my head and looking up to him as he towers over me.
He smirks at me and drinks most of his bottle.
I sip mine a little.
"So, I've got something else to teach you but I don't know how you feel about the positions," he divulges.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"You need to learn about choke holds. I've taught you a lot about mixed martial arts but there's some things I've avoided until now," he admits biting his lip.
"Like what?" I inquire.
"The choke holds like I said, but also grappling, wrestling, pinning..." he trails off.
"I'm not familiar with these," I tell him shaking my head.
He inclines his head at the mat next to us. I see two men on the floor. I guess what they're doing is probably wrestling. It reminds me of Jacob when he wrestled with God. But he injured his hip. God changed his name, though, to Israel—one who wrestles with God.
"What do you think?" he asks me when I've been staring at the men beside us.
I open my mouth and then close it.
"I realize the positions may be awkward for you, but if you're ever in a life and death situation with no weapons, you need to learn how to defend yourself," he tells me. "It's probably better if we do this now, than waiting a month. It may lead to more..."
I nod in a daze.
"I could get someone else to do this with you, if you'd rather," he offers. "Lydia's busy. The rest of leadership, too. There's Peter over there. I could make him submit to you. But then some of the positions might be even more uncomfortable with him."
"Yeah," I agree. "I'd rather not let Peter touch me."
"Are you okay with this?" he confirms.
"You're just teaching me, right?" I ask.
"Yeah. This is professional, not for play," he teases grinning. "But seriously. Be careful. I don't want you hurting yourself. Watch them for a minute. You see how they tap out?"
I observe the pair beside us. When one gets into an immovable situation, he taps the mat. They stop and start again. I see the pair next to them is a male and female doing the same sort of thing. The position appears a little awkward but they're fighting not doing something else. I see the man actually tap out.
"Yeah," I reply to Eric.
He demonstrates a few holds on me but he realizes that I'm not sure what's going on. "How about I use Peter as a dummy? Maybe you could put him in a choke hold if you want," Eric offers.
I laugh in reply and nod.
"Peter?" Eric calls him over.
He looks surprised but comes right over to us.
"I'm using you for demonstration," Eric tells him. He has him get into position.
"What are we demonstrating?" Peter questions.
"Chokeholds," Eric replies. Peter gives me a questioning look but I keep my focus on Eric's tutorial. He puts his arms in position around Peter. "All you have to do is tighten your hold," Eric says demonstrating briefly. He releases Peter and has me practice.
I have Peter get down on his knees. "I don't like this position," he grumbles.
"Get used to it," Eric tells him. "If it wasn't for Tris, you wouldn't be here. If it was up to me... well, you probably wouldn't want to know what I would've done to you."
I move into position. "I don't really like this, Eric," I tell him. "I feel like I'm cuddling with Peter."
"Tighten your hold," Eric insists.
I hear Peter choking and I stop, laughing.
"You want to do that to me?" Eric grins.
"No, I'm good," I chuckle.
"Does anyone care what I think?" Peter says.
"No," Eric and I both respond at the same time.
Eric shows me several other holds, some on the ground, some not. I practice a few flips with Peter, tossing him around like a doll. I'm actually enjoying this. We eventually dismiss Peter and Eric shows me some moves that I'd be more comfortable performing with him. He wraps his legs around me, then I have to do the same to him. I see our neighbors engaged in similar positions so I try to think of it like work. This is serious. I am a professional. We work on all of the moves Eric has to show me today, then he rises.
"Okay. We're done with the demonstration. Now you need to put them all together," Eric says. "Come at me," he insists.
I pace around him, he does the same. I rush at him and slip out of his grasp, climbing onto his back. I'm actually on him similar to when he carried me before, except this time I have him in a solid choke hold. He attempts to toss me to the ground and knock me off but I hold firmly. He hasn't tapped out so I tighten my grip. He continues to attempt to get me off but he oddly can't knock me loose as we roll around on the mat. He tries to move me around to get a hold of my legs. I wrap them around his midsection like he showed me. He can't get me to budge. I tighten my hold once more and he taps out.
He pants when I release him around his neck but I still hold on. "You okay?" I ask worriedly.
"Yeah," he breathes. I let go of him and climb up. He grabs my offered hand and I help him up. "I can't believe you got me that fast," he tells me when he's caught his breath. "Only Lydia can beat me singlehandedly at this. Though, I haven't really faced Max or Jude much."
"So you can beat Ryan?" I ask.
He nods reaching for his water bottle. He finishes it off and I take a few more sips before I surrender it to him.
"You want to be done today?" he asks.
I grab my watch from my pile of stuff and look to the time. "Yeah, we should probably get cleaned up and get to lunch," I agree. We both have places to be soon.
He nods in agreement. I put my watch on my wrist and clasp it shut. I sit down to put my sock and shoe back on my right foot.
"Did you paint your toenails again?" Eric asks sitting next to me and putting his on as well.
"Yeah, you like it?" I ask him.
"You're always pretty," he tells me. "I... I didn't hurt you did I?" he asks somewhat worriedly.
"I don't think so," I reply doing the same with my left.
I grab my towel and wipe my face once more before standing. Eric grasps my hands and pulls himself up with my assistance. He kisses me when he stands.
"I don't like teaching you this," he admits.
I give him a sad smile and I hold him just a little bit longer.
"Come on. I'm sweating all over you," I tell him separating and tugging on his hand.
"I'm pretty sure it's the other way around," he disagrees.
"Either way, we both need a shower and we've got places to get to," I say.
We head up to our apartments and separate at my doorway. He kisses me once more gently before I step inside. I head straight to the bathroom and shimmy out of my sopping wet clothes. I jump into the shower and bathe quickly, washing the sweat and filth off of my hair, then skin. I turn off the taps and dry myself with a fluffy towel, wrapping it around myself. I step out and wipe the steam off of the mirror. I look myself over and I see no bruises. I know that'll make Eric happy. I couldn't imagine if he got me in the same position. I'd probably tap out immediately. I wonder why he waited so long...
I dismiss the thought and go into my bedroom to change. I think about where I'm going—to meet with Four and his counselor. I better not dress up or he'll read more into it than me just being presentable for work. I wear some basic jeans and a semi-fitted three quarter sleeved t-shirt with a collar. It's not a dress shirt but it's somewhat casual. I slip a vest on and put a clean holster on. I decide to wear my cross necklace that Eric gave me. I pull the box out of my drawer and set it on my dresser. It takes me a moment to finagle the clasp just to open it. I put it on backwards so I can watch in the mirror if I've got the clasp lined up properly. I get it eventually and turn it around placing the cross over my heart. I step into the bathroom with my towel in hand drying my hair with it. I hang it on the towel bar and toss my dirty laundry into the washer, along with several items from my hamper and start the load. I go back to the bathroom, combing my hair. I blow dry it and pull it into a knot. I really don't want Four thinking I'm doing something special for him. I might do a different style tomorrow, but definitely not today.
I hear Eric coming down my hallway. "Are you about ready?" he asks.
"Yeah," I reply.
"I didn't bruise you or anything, right?" he asks.
"No bruises," I tell him pecking his lips. "Let's go."
"Don't you need any mixes or anything?" he asks.
I shrug, "I feel fine. Did you need something?"
"No. Maybe if we fought the whole time. Today felt like mostly demonstrations," he nods in agreement.
I grab my purse and we head to the cafeteria together. There are salad options, sliced grilled meat, and something called quinoa. Eric gets a bowl of that with everything else. He puts grilled chicken on his salad, grilled beef strips on the quinoa along with some grilled vegetables. I do the same but the littler dishes and portions according to the size of the bowls. I see him get some avocado. I've never had that before. I get a little. I notice that Italian dressing as an option. I grab two cups since I don't think Eric saw it. I decide to get the half tea, half lemonade concoction that Eric seems so fond of and I join him in walking back to our table. I wave to my friends as we pass by. Four's watching me pass. He looks worried like I might not come. I wouldn't do that but I'm going to make sure he's aware that this will be my only appearance. I feel Eric's caress along my back and I smile at the sensation.
We take our seats. I'm beside Lydia and of course Eric is next to his closest friend. "How'd it go?" Ryan attempts to whisper.
"She got me to tap out in a minute or two," he admits.
"No way!" Ryan shouts grabbing the attention of a good portion of the people in the cafeteria. He clears his throat. "Sorry, but seriously?" he asks excitedly.
"Seriously," Eric nods in confirmation.
"What's got Ryan so excited?" Lydia asks me.
I explain what they're talking about.
"On the first try?" she questions me dumbfounded.
I nod in affirmation trying the quinoa. It's good—different but tasty. The meat gives it an interesting flavor. I cut a piece of the avocado. It's kind of creamy but plain—almost greasy for a vegetable which is surprising.
I overhear Lydia and Max whispering, then they join in with Jude. I continue to eat my food kind of wondering what they're saying.
I see the salad dressing on my tray and set one on Eric's tray.
"Where'd you get this?" he questions happily.
"I didn't think you saw it. There weren't many left," I tell him.
"Thank you," he whispers before he kisses me gently. I bask in the soft sensation of his lips on mine. I sigh in euphoria as he parts from me.
He kisses my cheek and rubs my back. I pour my dressing on my salad and begin on it. It's good.
I'm pretty sad when lunch ends quickly. I really don't want to leave him—especially to spend time with Four. But I figure that I'm trying to be helpful, to assist him in moving on.
We return our trays and leave. I hold Eric's hand and walk in a daze to the security office. We step inside to see that Jax is here waiting. He's actually giving some direction to a handful of soldiers. They nod in understanding. I realize they're the ones who will be watching over me. Jax approaches us and introduces the guards to me. I'm unable to focus on their names but I see their last names on bars pinned on each of their uniforms. I shake their hands consecutively. Eric kisses me lovingly in front of the entire office. I hear a few whistles but I keep my attention on him.
"I love you," he whispers to me.
I smile in reply.
"If anything gets uncomfortable, just leave, okay?" he confirms.
"Okay," I nod.
He kisses me again.
"I'll see you soon, sweetheart," he says.
I'm escorted to the conference room. It's smaller than I thought it would be. It's only a little larger than what we have upstairs in leadership. I realize Lara is already here. I figured she'd be wearing red but she's actually in a creamy yellow dress that almost blends into the wall color—or possibly the lights from above casting a yellow glow in the room. The collar on her dress is similar to my shirt but her dress buttons down. It has a belt at the waist and flows down nicely to just past her knees. I'm sure it would be nice to dance in.
She rises and reaches out her hand to mine. "It's nice to meet you, Tris. I'm Lara," she says.
"It's nice to meet you, too," I reply.
"I'm sure Four will be happy that you've joined us," she tells me taking a seat at the head of the table. I attempt to smile but it's forced. I walk around and sit with my back to the wall, facing the door. I notice that Lara has a file folder opened. "May I?" I ask her motioning to her file—Four's file.
She smiles and nods, sliding it over to me. It looks like she has similar papers to what Jude and Max had from Four's intervention last week. They must've given her a copy of much of it. I read through everything quickly and find a page with her notes from last week. It looks like he wasn't opening up to her much. Perhaps I'll help with that. I pass the file back to her and as I look up, it would appear that Four is already here standing in the doorway. He's staring at me. I ask God for help in this situation—to be patient, firm, but easily understandable.
"Please join us, Four," Lara says when she notices him. She motions to the seat beside her.
He continues to stand there in surprise. I think he really wasn't expecting me to come. One of the guards taps him on his shoulder and motions to the chair across from me.  He steps closer and takes a seat.  I notice that he's in a soldier's uniform. His last name is engraved on a metal bar pinned onto his uniform just like everyone else. He watches me in curiosity. His hands are on the table reminding me of how he pushed his palms along the stone at the bottom of the Chasm, fingers spread out beside mine at the time. Mine are clasped together on the table. I look down at my hands momentarily and he reaches out for my hand, touching me. I pull my hands out of his reach.
"Please don't touch me again, Four," I say. I wasn't expecting him to do that. He frowns at me.
I look to Lara expectantly. She's observing us, to see his reaction I think.
"Four, now that we have a guest, what would you like to say to her?" Lara asks him.
"I'm sorry," he whispers looking away from me. "I feel like I really messed up. I ruined the best thing I'd ever had going for me."
I sigh at his admission. "Thank you for the apology. I forgive you," I say and he looks up at me, as if I've just excused his behavior, as if I'd consider taking him back. "But I'm not going to forget what happened. I've moved on. You should, too."
He turns his head away, shaking it in disbelief. "Moved on," he mumbles to himself.
I look to Lara. I'm not sure how else to direct the conversation now. "How does what she told you make you feel, Four?" she asks.
He sighs and looks to Lara. "Disappointed," he shrugs. "It's okay, though. I can wait."
"Wait for what?" Lara asks him writing something in her notes.
"When things end between her and Eric, I'll be there waiting," he responds matter-of-factly.
I feel struck at his words. "Do you actually believe that what I have with Eric won't last?" I ask him disbelievingly.
"Of course it won't last," he replies smoothly to me. "He's only interested in one thing. When you don't give him that, it'll be over. Do you actually expect him to wait a year for you?"
I blink at his words.
"He wants to be with me. That doesn't matter to him," I reply as calmly as I can.
"He mentioned marriage to me. Do you actually think that you could marry someone like him? An unbeliever?" he questions motioning to my necklace.
I put my hand on the cross. "Eric gave this to me. He supports me," I explain.
"That doesn't mean he believes. Will your father approve of him if he doesn't convert?" he presses.
I open my mouth, then close it.
"It's okay," he shrugs. "I know it won't last. I'll be waiting."
I blink again at his audacity.
"Four, I'm only going to explain this to you one time. I want you to understand this. If... though I think it's highly unlikely, if things don't happen to work out with Eric and I, I still won't ever consider you again," I explain.
"Who would you be with then?" he laughs. "There's nobody here that would have anything in common with you."
"If that's the case then, I guess I'll be like Dana and just not date," I tell him firmly.
He shakes his head at me in disbelief.
"You know Four, I've noticed that you don't take what Tris tells you seriously. Perhaps if you took her at her word, you could grow in understanding," Lara advises.
"That's because she doesn't know what she's talking about," Four responds.
"Yeah, I think I'm done," I say irritably standing up. "Here's the list Four wrote and asked my boyfriend the other day," I tell Lara pulling it out of my purse. "He insisted on coming in, searched the entire place for me, and then asked him ridiculous questions. He's unstable, rude, and disrespectful."
I start to leave and Four stands, the guards step in. "Wait," he says softly. "I'm sorry. Please stay."
"Why? You're rude and you don't listen to a word I say," I tell him.
"I'll listen. Anything you want to talk about, we can talk about," he says.
"I don't want you talking about my relationship with Eric. It's none of your business," I insist.
"Okay," he caves. "We won't talk about him."
"If you can be respectful, I'll stay. If you cross the line again, I'm leaving whether you apologize or not," I tell him.
He nods.
I sit back down. "Perhaps you should guide us," I say to Lara. "Just having us come up with something doesn't seem to be bringing the kindness out of him. He struggles with that."
She nods in reply. "Four, maybe you could say something kind to Tris. Since you've hurt her feelings, perhaps there's something you could tell her that's positive," Lara requests.
"I'm glad you came," he tells me softly. "I miss you."
"I'm just trying to help today. This will probably be my only visit," I respond.
He frowns at that but nods. "It's nice seeing you every day at meals," he says.
"I did ask you before to stop staring at me. It makes me uncomfortable when you constantly watch me," I tell him.
"I'll try not to stare," he says looking away. "I love you," he whispers.
"I love someone else," I tell him. "I'm sorry, I just don't feel the same for you."
He closes his eyes and can't meet mine.
"How do you think you can cope with that?" Lara asks.
"I don't know," he shrugs. "It hurts."
"I'm not trying to hurt you, Four," I say gently. "It never was my intent."
"I know," he tells me softly. He looks at me with a distant look in his eyes.
I stay for the remainder of his session. He's civil for the most part, talking to me in the calmest, nicest way I can ever recall. I attempt to guide Lara somewhat on what he needs assistance with. I think she's actually helping, leading him toward the kinder self he wants to be.