Talking to Tom

34

When I got out of the shower and all dried off I didn't hear any crying. I didn't hear anything really.

I walked to Caroline's room and it was empty, I looked in the living room and kitchen, nobody. I checked out front and back, nothing.

What the hell.

I heard the main toilet flush and Tom walk out.

"Did she go down well?"

"Mhh"

He walks right past me and nods his head. He just lay across the couch. "Where exactly is she sleeping?"

"Down the hall"

He points down the opposite hallway of her room, towards the spare rooms.

I walk a little faster down the hallway because I can hear a faint cry. Why is she in the bedroom? There's nothing in these rooms to sleep on.

I am basically running down the hall to the last spare room on the left and the door flies open.

There she is.

Sleeping in her stroller, not sleeping, crying.

Her entire face his red and tucked away by the blanket.

She can't breathe

I pick her up and hold her upright so she can calm down and breathe. My heart is racing so fast and my lungs are compacting. My baby was dying..

When she finally calms down enough and I can catch my own breath I storm out of the room crying. "Where in your right mind do you think it's okay to leave her like that?! She couldn't breathe! If would of taken a little bit longer to get ready she could of died! She has barely even lived she can't die, she's only a baby...why did you leave her? Why did you act like nothings wrong?"

I stare at him through my tears and he doesn't move.

"People can get annoyed by a baby you know? It's perfectly normal to get sick of it."

"of it...OF IT! It is our daughter, it is not an object it's a human"

"well I'm still annoyed"

"I know! But that doesn't mean you kill it?!
I can't even look at you..I'm so scared and mad and just not okay to be doing this...you need to go...now"

"What?"

"Go, leave! Get out of this house! My baby was dying and you were whistling and laying on the couch, for her safety you need to leave. If I stare at you any longer I'm going to call the police..."

He sits up and starts walking to the bedroom.

"I said leave! Not pack, leave!"

"Where am I supposed to go without my things?"

"Anywhere but here, I don't care, I don't want to know, just go"

He stops for a second and looks down. "It's our baby" Then he walks back to the front door and walks out.

I can't fucking do this

Happy one year!

So I have been writing this for a year, it feels like even longer but honestly I wouldn't care. You guys have truly made me feel better when I couldn't, thank you.

A thousand times thank you, I can't say it enough.

I really wanted this chapter to be out on Tom's 34th birthday, but it's here now

Btw were almost at 8k

Kisses