Endowed Shadows(Boyxboy)

Chapter 18

Wesley's POV

The next morning I awoke to sun shining through the blinds and groaned. I cringed away from it, and looked at Luca, who was still sleeping. I sighed and played with his hair as he was sleeping. I was worried about him, and wondered how he got sick. Wasn't it that what Finlay had said that we couldn't get sick? I started thinking about that then paused. It may have not been from the blood from the zombie... Could it possibly be from me... I bit him and I let him have some of my own blood . Could that change him? I sighed again. Then sat up and tucked him in more, I approached my closet and glared at the clothes that were in it and didn't know what to pick. Usually I would ask someone else what I should wear.
I heard a rustling behind me and looked at Luca, "Good morning, how are you feeling Luca?" I asked with concern in my voice.
"I kind of feel... strange. Something smells really good, I mean like really good." He jumped out of the bed, rushing to the door. "Hungry, be right back!"
I watched him run out and shook my head and quickly dressed in a plain black shirt and white skinny jeans just to change up what I've been wearing. I ran after Luca. "Hey wait up!" I called. I found him standing in the kitchen, looking around with a frown. He sniffed the air.
"Hmm, odd. I thought someone was making breakfast. I could have sworn I'd smelt some meat cooking... wait..." He came to me and just sniffed my neck, then pulled back quickly. "It's you. I didn't notice it before, but you smell good... like really good." He smiled.
"Bite me." I challenged, with a smile and put my hand out,"I'm sure I'm tasty." He gave me a playful grin and took my hand.
"Are you sure, because you know I'll do it?" He licked my wrist first and waited.
"I like pain silly, go ahead." I smiled at him kindly. With another lick, he simply opened his mouth and bit down on my wrist, pulling at it until a bit of flesh came off. After, he grinned at me with blood around his mouth.
"You're right, you are tasty. But I'll not eat all of you because well... then you'd be gone so... I'll let you live." He winked at me, licking his lips.
I shrugged,"I can't die though." I smirked,"but I would like to have an arm so just drink the blood." He chuckled and inclined his head.
"Oh and why exactly does thou want an arm?" He closed his mouth over the small wound and began to drink up the blood.
"Because I'm right handed Luca." I said, and looked down at him then sighed. He took the remaining bits and stood straight.
"I know Wesley, I was just teasing you. Anyway, now I've had breakfast, we should think about leaving. I'm going to have a nice shower, then I'll come find you."
"Very well. " I walked over and grabbed some chips and a soda then called a meeting. I waited for everyone to show up on top deck as I started up the boat I needed to tell them what I was doing. I didn't like living here anymore, I felt trapped and I hated that feeling. Noah was the first one to show up along with Ralph. "Hey you two." Noah gave me a soft smile.
"Hey, what's up? You okay?"
I nodded,"actually I'm turning the ship around and we're headed back to the USA. I know you can keep everyone safe especially now that you have Ralph. But I'm leaving... with Luca of course." I told them. Noah let go of Ralphs fingers which he'd been playing with, then just stared at me, a deeply hurt and painful gaze in his eyes.
"But... that's a lie, you don't think I can keep everyone safe, I've heard you saying how much of 'coward' I am to Luca... so you can't think that. How are you even..." he sighed and turned to face the sea, masking his sudden tears. He continued. "Okay... I guess there's no talking to you about it, so once we hit the USA, let me know and I'll wish you both well." He turned to walk away, Luca came back, but as he'd said 'hi', Noah rushed by him.
"I guess you told him then." Luca stated.. I nodded and sighed.
"Yeah, but I hate how he made me feel so guilty." I pursed my lips then shook my head,"time for him to man up." Luca sighed and rested his frame on the wall, folding his arms.
"Wesley that's harsh, think about what you've both been through together. I'm not talking about now, I mean way before... before Ralph and me, even before the apocalypse. Show him a bit of compassion, he still cares for you, it's obvious."
I closed my eyes and leaned against the wheel and nodded," I know. I love him too... but I just want to leave."
"I know you do, but make it right with him or you'll regret it. Especially if you never see him again after today." Luca spoke calmly.
I looked at him,"when did you become so wise." I smirked," I need to talk to him, keep Ralph entertained please. I'm sure you can." With out another word I rushed to his room and opened the door. He was alone.
I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him,"Noah can we please talk?" I asked," I mean with you talking too?" He sighed and gently removed my arms from him.
"Sure, why not. I suppose this is the last conversation anyway, right? Wesley do you even think about what we had at all? Or are you just content in mocking me now? It's almost like you've forgotten we were ever together. It kinda hurts... and don't go telling me that Ralph is a good guy and that I need to move on... some of us can't just switch of feelings like others. Get it?"
I looked away for a moment," I know... and I'm sorry. Really I am... I remember what we had really I do. I still love you, but I also love Luca. " I looked at him," no this won't be the last conversation forever I promise..."
"And you expect me to believe that, do you? I'm supposed to roll over like a good boy and just say 'okay, bye, take care.' I've not once lied to you Wesley, not about anything, least of all my feelings. I liked you in school... it's not something I'll just forget. So if you go... you go, don't contact me, because it'll be too cruel." He spoke quietly, his eyes never leaving mine.
I looked in his silver ones, and nodded," I-i understand. I'm sorry I hurt you." I bit my lip I didn't want to cry now I couldn't even though I wanted to. Noah nodded too, briefly and then shrugged a little.
"I guess this is it then. I'm certain Bella and Issac will want you to keep in touch, so that'll be fine. Bella will be upset but... she'll be okay. I'll look after them, I promise."
"Just one thing." I looked up at him, and smiled slightly,"I'll remember you. You were my first for everything. You have me confidence,that I could do anything." I told him,"I hope that one day you'll be able to look and talk to me without pain and hurt... When we broke up.... I did cry.... I didn't want you to see that though.... You are very strong, I was teasing you when I said you weren't." I looked at away," You also taught me to care about things. I'm sorry if I was hard on you, I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry I'm leaving, but I have a feeling I have to. Please don't push me away forever." I looked up at him,"please..."
I stood up and ran my hands through my hair, " just... remember I will and can never forget you out what we had."
Noah walked to the other side of the room, and shook his head a little his expression screaming out his disbelief. "Sure. Just look after yourself and little Luca, we'll be fine. I really want to believe you but once it's been a year or two, you'll forget... trust me."
"Forget? No don't doubt my ability William." I looked at him," I won't be able to forget you even if I do it'll still be I'm my mind."
"Maybe you should use 'Noah' instead... I don't want to be cruel to you Wesley but I've got no choice because if we leave things in a good way, I'll never move on. And you said it yourself... Ralph is a nice guy. I'll always be hung up on you if I remain in touch. You need to understand this from my point of view. I love you, I'll always love you. If I happen to hear that you're doing well from Bella or the others, I'll be happy... really. At least I'd know you were alive. I'm sorry, Wesley." He walked toward the bedroom door.
"I understand," I said softly, I had always been good at switching one thing of and turning on another. I guess I didn't understand that others didn't feel that way. " I wish you a well life Noah." I walked out. As the door closed behind me, it wasn't long before I heard a smash against it.
I closed my eyes and sighed, I knew I was leaving him broken, but I couldn't.... I just couldn't show anymore affection toward him even if it pained me. I needed to let him move on. I walked up to the top deck and told Ralph to go comfort him.
"He needs someone Ralph, please take care of him and don't do what I did please." I pleaded. Ralph nodded and walked away.
I bit my lip and looked away and to the ocean. Luca, who had been leaning on the wall of the ship looking really pale, and sweating still walked up to my side and for the first time ever, became affectionate.
"I know it's difficult, Wesley but it was the right thing to do. You shouldn't stay with someone just because they still love you, but there's ways of handling it. Noah needs a sense of closure now... I'm sure in time he'll be fine. Just... it's never your fault, okay? I somewhat blame myself... you were both tight before Ralph and I came along... I'm not saying that so you'll tell me it wasn't... because I know it is. You've done the right thing. Keeping him hanging on is just too cruel, which is why I softened toward him. He's well within his right to hate me, you know. I broke his world apart. But he became a friend instead... he deserves his time to let go too."
I wrapped my arms around him and sighed,"I know, things will get better...this might be a reason why I've been wanting to leave more... I wanted to let him let me go." I snuggled my head in his neck and closed my eyes. His arms wrapped around my back and he looked up into my eyes.
"I'll never take you for granted, especially knowing there's someone out there who wants you."
"I love you." I said softly, I sighed and collect myself then hugged him tightly. Against my neck Luca murmured gently.
"I love you too. Come on, it's quite chilly up here, let's go back inside." He took my hand gently, linking our fingers together.
"Alright, I really want a bath though what do you think about that?l" I asked him. Luca turned his head to glance back at me, a rather cheeky grin forming at his mouth.
"I think it's a brilliant idea."
"Great." I kissed his cheek,"you seem to always make me happy."
We got to the bath room and I shut and locked the door. It was a different bathroom than the others or looked like a normal house bathroom with a huge bath tub. I turned on the bath and started to undress. I glanced at my reflection in the mirror. I had no beard even though I hadn't shaved in three weeks and still I had no hair. I shrugged oh well I noticed my eyes weren't changing colours anymore they were a weird metallic purple, black, and blue. My hair was a little darker but not by much. I shook my head and looked away.