Ateez Reactions & Imagines

Choi San X Reader - Anxiety

You and San had known each other for a little bit over a year now. While your friendship wasn't that long yet it most certainly was an extremely important one to San and also to you. San had met you once through KQ as back then you were an intern and got the privilege of working with Ateez. The boys were all extremely nice to you which immediately led to a friendship with all of them. However, you and San bonded over the fact you both came from small towns and you guys always seemed to have something to talk about. This was now a whole year ago and you still talk to all the boys, well mostly because you are now a full term employee at KQ. You are part of their staff. If they have VLives planned, there you are helping them out. They have a schedule to follow? You are usually there as well. The managers actually quite enjoy having you around as well since you seem to keep the boys a little bit more in check, especially San who seems to want to act more mature around you. Everyone else could see the reason why he did, but you thought, it was simply growing up.

Lately, you had been feeling rather down. Your sleep schedule was all over to place, your eating habits were also all over the place and you just knew this feeling all too well. You used to feel like that all the time at school. While in videos and in their logs the staff, including you are blurred out, in real life that just isn't possible. A few days ago, for your birthday, the boys had been so kind and had planned a whole day for you. They had the day off and since they had such a good relationship with you, they had wanted to somehow give back for the wonderful work you did. They had planned to take you out for dinner and then head off to karaoke and that is exactly what they did. Everything was fun and going smoothly until you had been leaving the restaurant. Apparently, some fans had caught wind of the boys being out and of course plenty rushed to the scene. You were used to seeing the boys deal with this but not you, not in the flesh. You felt so anxious walking through the mass of girls, it left a real imprint on you. Of course, pictures had been taken of you heading into the car with the boys and it kinda blew up after that. KQ had quickly explained the matter, as they didn't want the boys or you, dealing with any bad messages but it was too late. The feeling of anxiety had been with you constantly since that night and you were truly considering your job right now. While you loved working with the boys, you had to think of your mental state, and getting messages from girls, you didn't even know, telling you that you just were not worthy of being around the boys and worse, didn't help it.

So here you were about to head into the practice room. You took a deep breath before putting on a fake smile and walking in and looking at the boys sprawled out on the floor, out of breath. You chuckled to yourself and shook your head "alright boys, I think that is enough for today. Clear up schedule is done. Go home and rest. You too Hongjoong, you have been sleeping at the studio the past 3 days, that is enough" you said sternly as the boys got up. Hongjoong shook his head and walked over to you "yes mother" he teased before giving you a hug. You were glad he did because they had no idea it would be their last. You went on, hugging each boy as they headed out, San was as usual the last one.

The boy had noticed the change in you and he was aware something was off. He hugged you and felt you hug him back tightly. Something was definitely off. He continued holding on to you as he spoke "Hey, listen, I wanted to make sure you are okay. I know your birthday evening didn't go as planned and I can't imagine how overwhelmed you were. So if there is anything you want to talk about or just rant or anything please, text me or just call me. You know I'm always just a call away." he said as he slowly stepped back to look at your face. You kept the same fake smile on your lips and nodded "yeah, of course. Don't worry about it Sannie. I'm fine" you said as you fully let go of him "now go. or they might leave without you" a joke to attempt and hide your sadness. You didn't want to tell them you were quitting because honestly, they would for sure do something to convince you to stay and you didn't think staying was the right choice for you. San smiled and kissed your head before heading out and that was the last you saw of him. "enjoy your week off. you worked hard! Enjoy Jeju" you called out after him