Choosing sides (ON HOLD)

Chapter 24

BELLAMYS POV
Dear Bellamy,
Since your reading this it means that our people have arrived safely at camp, but it also means I'm not there with you. See the thing is I'm not with the grounders either, I'm still in the mountain. I'm sorry. To get both of our people out of this hell hole I had to make a deal with Dante, the deal was he would let everybody go, let them live in peace without the constant fear of being captured and hung for their blood on one condition, I had to stay. I took the deal because to me it seems fair, hundreds of people free to live their days out in freedom and all that had to be traded was one mere life. I hope your not angry with me. I have sent a note to my second of the grounders, informing him of the situation, we have agreed that life will continue as it has over the last few days. As you have probably noticed by now there are two new faces in camp, that's maya and her dad, now be nice and not your usual grumpy self, also I would suggest not flirting with maya as I think jasper would have no problem with trying to knock your front teeth out, not that he would succeed. I could of just had jasper or monty tell you that I was gone and not coming back but I wanted to spare them from the dreadful things that you would probably shout at them, I also wanted to protect their faces from your fist , but the real reason I am writing this letter is to tell you something. See I wasn't even sure I should as this will probably be seen as unfair to you, but I think you deserve to know. You know that saying, you don't know what you've got until it's gone , well it's true. Once I had made that deal with Dante,all I could think about one person, that one person that I was leaving behind with so may unsaid words. I knew I had to say goodbye. But the thing is how do i say goodbye to that one person that I had just realised I can't live without. I'm lucky really, Im Lucky to have someone that makes saying goodbye so hard, that special someone that so many people spend their whole lives searching for, that special someone that I didn't know I had until it was to late. I wanted to tell you Bellamy blake that, that special person is you. Your the person that I thought of in that moment, realising that I would never get to tell you the three little words that linger on my lips, I love you. it funny isn't it, that those three word can change someone, the three words that give your skin goosebumps and fluttering sensations in your stomach, those three stupid little words, individually meaningless but together can mean somebody's world. I never told you any of this before because I never knew I felt this way, of course deep down I did, but I never truly excepted it. I think I was just scared, scared that if I felt something, truly opened my heart up to someone, that in an instance I would all be taken away from me. I'm not sorry that I have told you this, I'm just sorry I didn't tell you sooner, and that I regret all the chances that we missed of happiness.
There's a quote from F.Scott Fitzgerald that says:
" You are the finest,
loveliest, tenderest
And most beautiful
Person I have ever known -
and even that
Is an understatement"
It's true that is an understatement. You are one of the most extraordinary people that I have met... No scrap that you ARE the most extraordinary person I have met, you have the biggest heart in the universe when you open it up. You would do anything to protect the people that you love, you amaze me everyday with that overwhelming courage and bravery that seems to radiate from you and you never fail to make me smile with that stupid smirk of yours.
Sure, your a pain in the ass the majority of the time and all I want to do is slap you across the face but I Clarke griffin am in love with you Bellamy Blake. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want you to be the one that I wake up next to in the morning, I want the pointless arguing, the long walks through the forest and I want to hold your hand. I want to laugh with you and joke around with you and to say I love you face to face. This big confession of me spilling my heart out on a page may be worthless to you, and you cringe at the though of reading it, because you most likely don't feel the same way, but do you know what?, I don't care because I will be gone soon and the only memory left of me will be this letter. I don't blame you if you can't forgive me, I have said dreadful things to you in the past that I would take back within a heartbeat, I know that I hurt you and betrayed you but even if you don't feel the same way that I feel for you I hope you can at least forgive me. But Bell if you do feel the same way as I feel for you then all I can say is don't come for me. I'm not going to ask you to forget about me as I will not forget about you, because how can you forget the one that makes you smile, but all I ask from you is to move on, find yourself a nice grounder girl or maybe one day you will wake up to realise that you are deeply in love with murphy , ha murphamy. It may be hard bell, But sometimes moving on starts with a goodbye.
Love
Princess xxx
Ps. Take care of it.

I do feel the same, the words "I love you" bouncing of the insides of my head. I look up from the note my eyes brimimmed with tears and my cheeks wet, folding the letter, I hold it close to my chest. I take out the small fabric wrapped item from the envelope and unwrap it. It's Clarkes watch.

CLARKES POV
Once I had gotten everybody safely out the mountain and given jasper the letter that I had written for bellamy, I was ushered into a lab. I was their new lab rat. I was now lying on a metal slab in the middle of the room, spotlights surrounding me, different tubes coming out of my veins like glass fangs, sucking out my blood. The lights above me are blinding my eyes, refusing to let me see but I can hear the sound of the drill, edging closer and closer to my skin. My bones already ache as they have already removed some of my marrow giving it to maya and her dad, but I can guess its going to get a lot worse. You always tell yourself that if you ever end up in a situation like this that you will never scream, never allow the monsters to see the fear in your eyes or have the satisfaction of hearing you begging for them to stop. It's not that simple. As the drill is plunged into my flesh the only noise you can hear are my screams echoing through the corridors.

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Please share your thoughts, I didn't know if I should post this chapter or not, is it ok? X