Choosing sides (ON HOLD)

Chapter 3

CLARKES POV
I awoke to swirls of blurred vision, pain and disorientation to relise that I was propped up on the cold metal ground of the dropship. My head lent on Bellamys shoulder and my arm around his flat yet muscular stomach.  Getting up slowly I tiptoe across the eerie room and out of the drop ship down the ramp and onto the ashen ground.  Kicking the dust around my feet I stand and breath in the fresh, crisp air.  Not much may go right down here on the ground but since day one I promised myself, every morning I would take 30 seconds just breath in the air and think about all the good there is, no matter how little that may be, its a promise that since that day I have managed to keep and no matter how tough things get its a promise I intend to carry on. With my finger in the dirt I scroll
"GONE TO RIVER. C "
Knowing Bellamy will wake up probably not to much later from now and panic to see im gone.  Walking out of the singed gates I grab a discarded bucket on the way and head down to the river.  Once arrived no more than 10 minutes later I strip from my blood and dirt stained clothes until it's only my underwear protecting me from full exposure and wade out into the cool blue water, allowing it to lap up against my thighs until it reaches my chest.  I scrub at my skin until red raw, hoping the memeories that haunt me would dissapear as fast as the dirt on my body, just wash away to leave a clean slate.  But i know thats not how the world works, i know i cant wash Finns blood from my hands, it will always be there to remind me of what i had done.  Once certain i was clean as physically possible i make my way back to shore, pulling on my stained clothes and grabbing the bucked lying on the rock side to fill up.  Just as i turn around to head back to the water Bellamy appears, hair tousled from sleep but eyes fully aware and ready for danger.  
"Wow princess, so there was actually a girl under all that dirt?" He said with that famous smirk of his plastered on his face.
"Shut up" I  smacked him on the arm playfully with the back of my hand, the sides of my mouth turning in a slight upwards grin. 
"Is that a smile I see?" He says teasingly
I turn around and face him looking straigt into his eyes still with a slight smile on my lips. 
"I hate you"
"I hate you too princess"
I cant help myself but to let out a small huff of amusment as i carry on with the task i came here to do.   Turning back around i walk over to the waters edge and kneel down to collect the clear waters. 
"We should head back" I say a hint of  disappointment breaking to the surface of my voice.  I was kinda having fun, Bellamy helping me to forget for a little bit, but not completely, now it was time to head back to reality. My mum was probably worried about me, at least I knew she wouldn't hate me after what I had done and by the looks of it Bellamy doesn't hate me either. One person I know for certain that will dispise me is Raven, she's going to kill me.  Although her and Finn weren't dating anymore they loved each other and I took that away from her, I took away her only love and for that I deserve everything she throws at me.  My mum is going to go  mental at me for running away. She's going to  fuss over me and try to convince me that everything will be fine, that I didn't just potentially ruin our chance for peace with the grounders. in some way I'm actually  excited to just hug her, to be near her,  I still despised her a little for what she did to my dad but I suppose in some ways me and her were more alike than I once would of thought, than I once would have cared to admit.   We would both do anything to protect our people no matter the personal cost. 
"Yeah come on" Bellamy says in reply. 
Just then a figure comes crashing through the woods,  its octavia she's out of breath and flushed red cheeks as if she has been running for a hours, a panicked expression etched on her face
"Clarke its your mum you need to come back quick, she's been hurt!"
Without a thought i instantly run,  dropping the bucket of water in my hand and taking off  towards camp, towards my mum, leaving Bellamy and octavia staring after me. I'm coming mum.