𝙃𝙊𝙈𝙀 // Izana x Reader

5

Family.

"Don't you have a family?" Izana suddenly asked which caught you off guard.

"Why would you ask that?" you stuttered.

Izana wasn't the type to inquire about you. In fact, he just cared about himself. All of the conversation you held was about him, his thoughts and his feelings. It's the first time he showed interest on you.

"Because you never went back on your home. You're always here," he said. "I'm pretty sure your parents are worried about you."

You scoffed. You wished that he was right. You wished that your parents really cared about you. Looking at him, you just nod your head before shifting your sight.

"A brat like you doesn't even appreciate what you have," he rolled his eyes. "If I were your parent, I'd abandon you."

Feeling an aching sensation on your chest, you bit your lips. You tried to stop them from quivering. You sighed, glancing on Izana. Your heartbeat was fast and any minute now, you could breakdown into tears.

"Why?"

"Because you don't deserve to be loved," he simply answered with a straight face.

Not knowing what to feel, you balled your fist and gritted your teeth. Are you going to be mad? You did everything for him. You treated him kindly. But he doesn't appreciate you, not even a bit. Are you going to be sad? Because maybe he's right. Maybe you don't really deserve that. Are you going to accept? Because maybe he just doesn't know you.

Silence filled the room as you stare at him with teary eyes. You shouldn't show him that expression. You shouldn't show him how his words affected you. You shouldn't show him that you were hurt. But you can't. His words just wounded your heart, tearing the poor muscle into pieces.

"What?" he asked, not having even the slightest idea of what he just said. He was confused about your reaction.

You wanted to punch him hard in the face. You wanted to pull his hair and beat him up. At the same time, you wanted to escape. You wanted to leave here and never show up again. But you can't do any of that.

"Why don't I deserve to be loved?" you asked, afraid of whatever his answer might be.

"I don't know. Ask yourself."

Your body was shaking. Your eyes were hurting. Your heartbeat is increasing. You couldn't breathe properly. You're getting furious.

"They abandoned me," you said, showing a bitter smile as you wipe your tears that you couldn't hold back.

Sighing, you gave up on your plans. You're not going to punch him anymore. You shifted your vision away from him again and lean your back on the chair. You tried relaxing so you can get back your cool.

"I'm living by myself," you started. "I don't meet their expectations and they got mad when I joined Toman."

Izana froze when he heard this. He thought that you were always taken care of, especially because you are a good care giver. Well, what can he expect? You always argue with him about families and how important they are. He thought that you probably have that perspective because you're happy with your family.

"My father gave me a little apartment unit to stay on. He gives me my monthly allowance but my mother disowned me," you continued. You really didn't want to bother him about your problems but it was his fault. He opened up the topic and hurt you. "I haven't seen them in a year or so."

Guilt took over Izana. You may not have experienced what he did but you were also hurting. And yet, he opened up that wound brutally.

"I mean I do, but I can't go anywhere near them," you paused, taking a deep breath so you wouldn't cry your eyes out. "If only I was smarter, maybe it would've been easier."

Looking back at him, you noticed how soft his expression was. He looked scared that he might hurt you more when he speak. You smiled internally, realizing that Izana might not mean everything he said earlier.

"I'm sorry for telling you that," you said. "It's just... It hurts because it feels like I was only born to be their doll and when I failed, I was discarded."

"Leave Toman and go back home," he blurted out.

"I don't have a home anymore," you smiled at him, signaling that he doesn't need to comfort you. Because basically he can't, he just hurts you more. "I didn't join Toman to run away from them. They told me to stay out; that's why I joined Toman."

"If you don't want to be alone, then join my team. I'm going to rebuild Tenjiku and take over Japan," he said, making you chuckle for two seconds.

"When I met Yumeri, I realized how manipulated I was by my parents. She showed me the real happiness of life. Because of that, I got to know myself. I knew what I want and what makes me happy. And because of my happiness, I failed to meet their expectations," you sighed, not knowing why you're still going on. "Yumeri asked me to join Toman but I refused. I thought that maybe I could get their love back once I succeed on my academic performance again... but... it's just not me. I am not smart. I am not good enough. When they told me to stay out of their house, I told Yumeri that I would join her gang. Then my mother completely disowned me."

Izana stayed quiet. He listened to your words carefully. He stared at you as he try to understand your feelings.

"Toman is actually not just a gang. They are my family now," you smiled, completely getting over his words.

"How can you call them your 'family'?" Izana asked annoyed, still holding a grudge about Tenjiku's defeat.

"A family accepts you and everything about you. They got your back no matter what happens," you showed a bigger smile. "That's what Toman make me feel."

Your words rang in his mind repeatedly. It seemed like they were etched on his brain. He couldn't stop thinking about it. Does Kakucho accept him? Do you accept him? Are you his family now?

A week passed and he was going to be discharged. You organized your stuffs and clean everything that needed to be clean. Thankfully, Izana didn't attempt to escape again.

He was now looking out at the window,with his hands on his back. He's finally free but he wasn't happy. He can now do whatever he wants but he's disappointed. He didn't want to be free. Because to him, freedom is loneliness.

"Hey, if you're still coming with me, I'm gonna assume that you are my servant," he said, now facing you.

"I can't come with you anymore," you chuckled. "You're excited, huh?"

He rolled his eyes and sat on the bed. He'll miss you. He'll miss this room. He'll miss everything that he experienced with you. He wanted to tell you to come with him but you weren't a pushover.

Suddenly, the door burst open, startling the both of you. It was Mikey, Emma and Yumeri. As usual, Yumeri is full of energy. She charged towards Izana and hug him which he successfully evaded.

"You did well, Izana-kun!" Yumeri commented. "And I commend you, (N/N)-chan!" she winked.

"Why are you here?" Izana asked, raising his eyebrow. He was clearly annoyed.

"We're taking you home duh."