ᴜɴᴅᴏɴᴇ | ᴅ.ᴍ

𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐘-𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄

THE bed was soft, silky sheets wrapped around my legs as I comfortably sunk into the bed — correction, Zeke's bed. It felt relaxing and for a minute I had forgotten that I was not kidnapped by two Death-Eaters, and wasn't back in Scotland again, just for a minute. That rare minute where you can just feel your nerves relax and you can feel like you're able to breathe.

That moment where the stress of that particular thing has disappeared and you can come up to breathe again. That one, just one second where you can let your shoulders down and just loosen up. I woke up, my eyes wide open as my breathing was uneven. Zeke was passed out on the couch with his arm hanging down, touching against the floor.

My hand brushed against my arms, it was cold. I pulled the sheets up to my shoulders as I just sat there for a second. I was contemplating everything. I was trying to make sure if the decision I made was even right for me. Nothing felt right, something felt off and I couldn't determine what it was. I just had this extremely bad feeling in my stomach. It could be perceived as a sign, something bad happening but I just couldn't string along at what it could be.

I sat inside the warm bathtub, letting the water take over my body as the hot liquid felt like comfort to me. There is a difference between implied pain and forced pain. Implied pain feels good — it feels like a rush of excitement. Forced pain makes you feel so many things that you don't want to feel at all.

I sunk lower into the bathtub, holding onto the sides of the bathtub as I looked up at the tiles. I wanted this moment to last forever because it was perfect, sitting in a warm bathtub without worrying about anything at all. It was quiet and no one was around, it was just you. 

"Hey, are you going to stay in there for eternity because like we promised, to take you to your friends today," Parkinson's voice interrupted my thoughts of peace "Uh, hello? You didn't drown yourself or something, did you?"

"No," my voice was loud and clear as I came up, water leveling below me.

"Oh, you're alive," she sounded disappointed. "Well don't take another hour in there, might start using Zeke as my new plaything."

"Parkinson — "

"Bye now." Her voice disappeared from the door as my head turned. Taking a deep breath in as I wrapped my body in a thick white towel. The sun was beaming brightly, it was better than yesterday. Last night it was nothing but gloomy and dark and today it was bright and shiny. Like a new start. The beginning of something new.

I put on a thin sweater, pulling it over my head as I pushed my hair back. The mirror was huge, it felt like my own reflection was staring right back at me on purpose. I looked away, throwing the towel into the basket.

It took me a minute before I opened the door. It was either walking out of here and meeting the people I abandoned five years ago or running out that bathroom window. I stuck with option number one since it seemed like one that had less hustle to deal with.