American Gods Oneshots

The Emperor: Mr World - American Gods

Mr World x insubordinate!reader, employer-employee

Mr World pisses you off.

Part of dragon430's Tarot Troop on Tumblr.

TW/CW: Arguments, mentions of bombs, slime, pranks, unfair double standards.

Word count: 1.1+ K

Not the best thing in the world.

•

You gently placed the slime bomb on the ceiling directly above World's chair. The pink, glittery goop looked like it would make an epic mess. You giggled to yourself as you carefully made your way down the ladder.

'Wait til he gets a load a this!' you thought to yourself.

As quietly as you could, you closed the ladder shut and carried it out of World's immaculate office.

•

Red numbers ticked down above World's head as pretty pink slime pressed against the container.

8...

7...

6...

5...

4...

3...

2...

1...

0...

A loud, wet sound came from World's office.

"Y/N!" He screamed.

You and Technical Boy looked at each other, standing pretty far away from his office. A grin spread across your faces before you burst out in laughter.

•

You sat outside World's office.

The god had gone to clean up after your little prank. Pink and glitter, in your opinion, suited him much better than black and beige, but to each their own.

World, now in a clean navy suit, walked into his office, gesturing for you to follow.

You sucked your lips in slightly and stood up, following him into his still slime covered office.

"Sit," he said, pointing to a miraculously clean chair. His voice was oddly calm which is never a good sign.

You sat down in the ridged chair. "What's up, bossman?"

World stood behind his desk, but he didn't sit. The swivel chair was still mostly covered in slime.

The stuff was super sticky.

"You know, outside these walls, you'd probably be arrested for acts like this," he said, glaring down at you with that disapproving look he often used (on both you and Technical Boy). "You should be grateful I've been so lenient with you. Most would not."

'Lenient? Please. Last time I pulled something like this, you made me wash every single car the Agency had, twice,' you thought, but didn't say a word.

World gestured to his slime and glitter covered desk. "This is unacceptable behaviour, Y/N. You are a god. Not a child. You need to act like it." He crossed his arms.

"'Don't hurt me, Archie. I'm only little.'" you quoted. After a stern glare, you kept talking. "I'm just having fun, boss. It's not like you let me out to have any. I'm getting bored being stuck in here. Let me out! Let me have some fun!" Hands on the edge of your seat, you leant forward. "Media would have wanted me to have fun," you joked.

Media had never given two shites about you.

At the mention of the upgraded goddess, World tensed, his scowl deepening. "You are going to stay here and clean up your mess."

"But-"

"You are going to make sure this room is spotless," he continued. "I want nothing less than perfection. If I see even a hint of pink, slime, or glitter here, I will make you hurt. Do you understand me?"

You fell back into your seat, jaw slack in disbelief. This wasn't even the worst thing you'd done to him and he was acting like you'd just bombed Nagasaki. Well, he probably would have congratulated you if you had bombed Nagasaki. So it was more like you'd just sent an airplane into the Twin Towers.

Not even two weeks ago, New Media had done something like this to you and Technical Boy and she hadn't gotten in any modicum of trouble. All she did was bat her eyelashes at World and he seemed to completely forget the transgression.

"New Media's done worse than this and you don't punish her!" You said.

"Y/N," World said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I really don't want to argue with you. Just do as you have been told."

"No." You stood. "New Media has literally pulled the exact same shite before and you didn't do shite. Why do I get punished for doing what she did when she didn't even get punished for it?"

He slammed his fists on the desk, slime sticking to him. "Y/N! That is enough. You will do as I say or I will throw you to the dogs. Do you understand me, you ungrateful brat?"

"I'd rather be thrown to the dogs than continue working under you with all these fucking double standards." Instead of letting him say another word, you turnt and stormed out.

"Y/N," World called. "Y/N!"

Tired, World sat on his chair, forgetting about the slime. A squish came out from the pink goop as he displaced it. A face of displeasure spread across his face as he nodded to himself.

"Just great," he mumbled. "Just fucking great."

•

Technical Boy watched as you stormed past him and into your room. He slipped his phone away and kicked off from the wall.

You furiously stuffed a bag.

He leant against the doorway and continued quietly watching you. "What are you doing?"

You threw your cloth-filled bag against a wall and sighed. Turning to Technical Boy, you breathed heavily.

The younger god walked toward you, concerned. "What's the punishment this time?" He asked.

"He wants me to clean up everything. Which I would understand if he had punished New Media the same way. But he didn't! He didn't do anything when she did that to us. Why does he always treat us differently? I don't understand it!" You kicked something on the ground.

Technical Boy shrugged. "He's the boss. He calls the shots. We just do what he says. You get used to it."

"No," you said. "I won't." You picked your bag back up and finished packing it. "I'm done."

"You're gonna leave me here alone? With them?" He asked. "Cool. Cool. Whatever."

"You're trying to guilt trip me, aren't you?"

"Depends. Is it working?"

You booped his nose. "Nope!"

"Dang," he said, following you as you left the room.

•

Technical Boy and you stood next to your car.

"You sure I can't convince you to stay and put up with this with me?" Technical Boy asked.

You nodded and tossed your bag into the back. "Hey, you're always welcome to come with, mate. But, I ain't doing this. When he treats New Media the same as he treats us, let me know and I'll consider coming back."

He nodded and you hugged him.

You pulled back and gently tapped his cheek. "Don't cause too much trouble. Who knows what'll happen without me here to act like a shield."

"Fuck you. You ain't my shield."

"Yes, I am," you said with a smile as you slid into the driver's seat. "I mean, who else saved your arse from Media after that stunt you pulled a few years back? Cause it sure as Hell wasn't World?" You started her up and drove off.

Technical Boy waved goodbye, a tight-lipped smile on his face. As you turnt into traffic, he stuffed his hands into his trousers and sighed. "Fuck me," he grumbled.