Losing control (Hiccup x Reader)

Chapter 30

Oof. It has been a while...😳

HELLO! Hope you're all doing well! ☺️

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So...how are things?"
Hiccup doesn't look up from what he was working on, Snotlout clicks his tongue "Earth to Hiccup!"
Hiccup tries to continue ignoring the conversation, but Snotlout wasn't having it. He takes the cloth from Hiccups hand making the chief finally look up, but with a very clear scowl.

"What do you want, Snotlout?"
"I asked how things were going."
"Fine."
Snotlout rolls his eyes "liar."
"If you knew that, why bother even asking me?"
Hiccup asks, annoyance stinging in his voice "I'm just being a concerned friend is all." Snotlout defends, holding his hands up.
Hiccup sighs and takes his apron off "I appreciate that, really. But there's nothing to talk about." He steps to the side and hangs his apron up. Snotlout pats the chiefs shoulder "she'll come around."
Hiccup frowns at him, he wanted to question what he just said but he really couldn't be bothered with the subject.

He steps outside of the stable and sighs again, he looks around at the people going about their day. Some of them smile at him as they pass.
Hiccups mind falls onto you, he hadn't seen you in a few days. You'd been spending most the time with Gothi, helping her like always.

Hiccup wonders into the forest to the area where you and him used to practise your ability. Something was telling him you would be there. He walks up to a tree and peeks round to see you sitting on a log, Spear sat behind you, you were projecting a gentle force against some flowers by your feet.
"You've really got the hang of it." Hiccup says, stepping into view. You snap your hand back jumping up defensively "I wasn't doing anything!" You yell, panic in your voice, Hiccup shakes his head "I've told you many times, I know about your ability. I'd been helping you for months."
You gulp as he walks closer, in his mind he was thinking "I just wish...that you could remember...something."
You look at the floor, that same image of him flashes in your mind, the more often it popped up the clearer it became, the smaller details coming into view, the way Hiccup was looking at you as you held a book in your hands. Gothi wrote that it was a memory and you wanted to believe it, but everything was still too much for you. It was a lot to take in.

You were so caught up in your thoughts you didn't notice that Hiccup was now right in front of you. You then notice his feet and take a step back, watching him frown as you do so. He looked frustrated and he was. You had re built your defence walls and weren't going to let him break them down so easily.

Ignoring the nagging voice to tell him to back down he reaches out and cups your cheek, moving your head so your eyes met. He gazes into them deeply. His pupils dilate as his facial features soften, his fingertips holding onto your burning skin.
He doesn't say anything for those few seconds, just staring at you. The gentle wind weaving through his hair.
As you stare into his emerald eyes, a sensation washes over you, sort of warm. Some kind of feeling began fluttering in your chest, but it didn't feel bad. It felt the opposite but you couldn't figure out what it was.
There was something about his touch that felt...familiar. But your mind was fogged.

"I'm trying to remember, but I don't even know what I'm supposed to!" You suddenly say "everyone is telling me stories, saying my mother is dead and I can't even remember that! Something that should be stuck with me is gone, nothing makes sense!"

Hiccup doesn't reply "everyone needs to leave me alone! Stop with all this pressure. It's too confusing and frustrating, as far as I know you're just the chief, I don't even know you!"

As those words leave your lips, pain spreads across Hiccup's face. He retracts his hand. "I'm not saying this to be a bitch, Maybe there was something between me and you but I can't remember any of it. I have no feelings for you. Nothing!" You clench your fists, rage fuelling your body "I can't remember anything. I hate this. I feel like a nobody."
The rage quickly mixes with sadness, tears brim your eyes as you turn around, not wanting the chief to see you so weak, so pathetic. Suddenly your vision flashes white.