When You Least Expect It

I don't even know what the part is

I spent another week with family back in New Orleans after the wedding with Andrew flying back the day after the wedding and it was nice to just be home and not have to worry about work even though my agent sent me scripts for my next potential role stating we have to keep the momentum going. I'm back in New York now and I have an audition tomorrow. Andrew is in town doing some screen tests and prep work for Spiderman so we are currently out heading for some lunch "Tell me about this audition then" he says "Not much to tell I don't even know what the part is if its a lead or supporting role so I just have to wait and see tomorrow I guess" I say "You'll be amazing and kill the audition" he says "Here's hoping it's been nice to have the break but I need something to keep me busy" I say just as a kid around Wren's age comes up to us "Your Spiderman" he says "I am but don't tell anyone gotta protect my secret identity so the bad guys can't find me" Andrew says slipping into his American accent perfectly "How come she can know" he says looking at me "Because she helps me with the bad guys cause she's super smart and badass" Andrew says "I'm kinda like his Professor X or his Oracle" I say "Cool can I get a picture" he says "I'll take it" I say and take the photo "Thanks" the kid says "No problem I am your friendly neighbourhood Spiderman after all" he says and the kid heads back to his mom "That happen often cause you just slipped right into character there" I say "Sometimes it's new kids looking up to me but I like doing it" he says "Its sweet"  I say.

It's the next day and my audition when I get there and enter the room and see Marc Webb I'm ten times more nervous than I was before "Hello Sage really nice to meet you and thanks for coming in" he says "I'm auditioning for The Amazing Spiderman sequel" I say "Yes we loved your work in Alice in Zombieland and Forget Me Not and think you could be the perfect fit for the introduction of this character so whenever your ready" he says and I calm my nerves and get into character and I take the prop coffee pot and start my audition. Once it's over I'm relieved but still nervous "Thank you Sage. We're going to have you do a screen test with Andrew tomorrow see how you work together but great job" he says "Thanks" I say. Andrew calls me later that night to talk about my audition and I'm still kinda shocked that we could be working together and I can't tell him so I don't.

The next day I head back to the same place I auditioned yesterday and this time when I walk in the room Andrew is there "Andrew meet Sage Hughes" Marc says "We know each other already we're friends actually" he says "Great then you should be comfortable with each other no awkwardness or anything" Marc says "Nope" he says "Sage whenever your ready" Marc says and I do the exact same thing as yesterday "Tell me its none of my business but you've come in here everyday for the last month and you always look so sad and I'm just wondering why" I say "I lost someone I really cared about a little while ago and I know they'd want me to keep doing what I'm doing and not let the grief change me into something I'm not but I can't help but feel angry and guilty that I couldn't save them" he says getting emotional "Grief and regret can make us doubt everything and want to just be anyone else than who we were before this person was taken from us but I think we can still be who we were but also become someone else someone better and stronger who can eventually move on and not let the grief consume them" I say putting the same amount of emotion into it as yesterday "I'm Peter by the way you've just given me some really good advice so only fair I tell you my name" he says with a smile and the scene ends "Great work you two I think we may of found our MJ" Marc says and I'm surprised to hear that "MJ is the part. Wren is going to lose it when he finds out" I say "We're only going to introduce you towards the end of the film a teaser of sorts but knowing how this one ends we plan to set you two up as endgame" he says "Your my MJ" Andrew says and I'm still in shock that I kinda zone out of the rest of the conversation.

We head outside "You couldn't of told me it was my movie you auditioned for" he says "I didn't want to jinx anything. Did that really happen I mean people love you and Emma together as Peter and Gwen and I'm gonna come in and people could absolutely hate me as MJ and then they'll hate the movie and not watch it and that would suck and be really bad for both our careers" I say "Your panicking" he says taking me by the arms and turning me to face him "I don't handle stress well I tend to spiral and then I overthink everything and then I ruin everything I've worked for" I say "What can I do to help" he says "Get me away from here" I say "Okay" he says.

We end up at Andrews hotel and I've calmed down a bit now "Feeling better" he says handing me some water "Yeah sorry about all that" I say "Don't be I get overwhelmed too there's time I can't even go get groceries without the paparazzi following me. Its insane living the life we do" he says "I know I've just always put more pressure on myself than some people and it has a negative impact on me mentally" I say taking a deep breath before continuing "I'm a recovering anorexic with a little anxiety and depression thrown in there" I say "I never would of known" he says "People don't know no one really knows outside my family. It started when I was fifteen my Wyatt was going through some stuff and it was a stressful time and I started eating less because I was just focused on everything else going on that I sometimes genuinely forgot to eat and over time I just stopped. All this stressful stuff kept happening and I was just getting interested in acting as a serious career path and I saw all these beautiful people and I started seeing the flaws in myself and it went on and on until my body couldn't cope anymore. My parents and Wyatt always feel this guilt for not knowing but I did everything I could to hide it. I was eighteen when I ended up in the hospital severely malnourished and I started recovery but relapsed after the first year and I refused to go back to the hospital or any sort of recovery centre. That went on for another year until I had a minor heart attack at 21 and it felt real then you know I could actually die if I don't get better and I saw the pain it was causing my family so I got better their have been some minor relapses since but I'm in a place now where I'm healthy and happy and comfortable with my body but I still have these doubts and insecurities so I freaked out when Marc said I'd be MJ" I say "I think you are the most incredible person I've ever met and I could never imagine going through what you have but I'm glad to be able to know you now and somehow be a part of this journey" he says "Thank you" I say and we hug.

We spend the rest of the day watching movies and it's just what I needed after the emotional waterfall I just let out.