When You Least Expect It

Christmas is getting bigger

We are in December again and it's almost Christmas and I've been super busy with preparations for the holiday and with work stuff. I'm going on a daytime talk show here in the UK today my first daytime talk show but I'm excited "She's the star of stage and screen and a incredible role model for young girls as she's bravely opened up about her history with an eating disorder please welcome Sage Hughes" says one of the presenters Nadia Sawalha and I come out and sit down "Hi how are you" she says "I'm good you know just getting ready for Christmas" I say "What are your plans?" Ruth asks "The last two years we've alternated between Andrew's family and mine so this year would of been his family's turn to host but we've decided to host this year first Christmas in the new house and I am regretting down now that I've the last month prepping for it. It's both our families together and you know last year their were like sixteen of us this year there's twenty which is insane" I say "We have to talk about your fiance Andrew you guys got engaged back in September is their plans for a wedding next year" she says and they show a picture of us "Probably not we're in New York for a little while in the new year while he does Angels in America and we both have alot of stuff going on next year but I can say I have a date in mind I just don't know what year it will be. I don't think we're in any rush either" I say "Speaking of being busy your writing a book" Nadia says "I am which is kinda crazy. I never thought I'd share that I had an eating disorder and now here I am writing a book about my life and journey to recovery" I say "You have said your going to talk more about your family which you've always been quiet about" she says "I had to sit down with my family before I decided to do this to make sure their okay with it and they've been really supportive. Listening to me ranting and questioning everything at 3am" I say "Would you say your in a good place mentally and physically?" Ruth asks "Yes and no. Their are times of doubt and their are still these moments in life I fear. The idea of becoming pregnant terrified me and it still does I don't know how I'll feel watching my body change when it's doing this incredible thing of growing a human being and Andrew and I have discussed this alot and he understands my fear and we're gonna deal with that when it comes. Their are still times when I'm having a fitting for a dress or an outfit and they say it has to be altered because it doesn't fit and I experience this intense anxiety around it but I'm in a better place than I was when I was fifteen and this all started" I say "Did you ever think acting wasn't the right career choice given your history" she says "Definitely their are so many expectations for women in this industry to look a certain way and act a certain way and their have been times I've thought about quitting you know I've taken breaks when I've needed to I have one again in the new year after shooting two projects back to back I've learned to listen to my body when it tells me I need a break. But I don't regret choosing to be an actress I was raised by two incredible people who've always taught me that I can do anything I want and they've respected my decision to keep doing this when they think I shouldn't and I am forever grateful for that support and love" I say "When can we expect the book to be released" she says "Late next year I'm hoping I'm almost finished and then the editing begins" I say "Well we can't wait to read it and thank you for talking to us. Sage Hughes everyone." she says.

Christmas is here and after a hectic day of present opening and cooking dinner we decide to head out for some drinks. My parents and Andrew's kindly agreed to watch the kids for Ben and for Wyatt and Cassie "We survived hosting Christmas my love" Andrew says as we're sat watching our siblings dancing to Christmas music in the bar "We did. Let's not do it again next year I don't think I can handle the stress why did I think writing a book before Christmas was a good idea" I say "Because you want to get it done as soon as possible so you can stop doubting actually doing it" he says "True. Dance with me" I say standing up "Always" he says and we join our family and do some really terrible dancing that you wouldn't think I was the granddaughter of a famous dancer but its perfect and I love our blended together family and getting to spend time with the people I love most in the world.