Chapter 16

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Louis' Pov

I stand there, too stunned to do anything. I can't speak, I cant run after him. I can only watch luke leave.

"Lou- what- what happened?" I hear Niall say beside me. His voice is timid, almost too quiet to understand.

"We're leaving." I answer, my eyes still fixated on the door.

The boys start moving without another word. Not a minute later we are all in Liams car, on our way to my house.

My head is full of thousands of thoughts but they are all blurry. Everything is blurry. Niall and Zayn arguing in the backseat. Liam blasting music to dampen their voices. Even the streetlights. It's all a big blur.

My eyelids are heavy all of the sudden. I fight the urge to just close them but I'm not strong enough. I don't feel grief, i don't feel fear, I don't feel pain, I don't feel anything. I just feel numb.

***

I wake up to the noise of the doorknob of a bedroom door being pushed down. It makes this awful squeaky noise I'm so sick of hearing. I have ordered my men to fix it so often already but it comes back every fucking time.

Niall entered the room. He walks over to the brown leather seat in the corner and sits down, placing his ankle on his knee. A glass filed with some liquid, probably some sort of alcohol, in his hand. "Sorry boss, didn't mean to wake you."

I sit up and support myself with my right elbow. "Stop it Niall. Stop referring to me as 'boss'. I'm your friend."

He sighs. "What happened today, at Harrys?"

"How long was I knocked out?" I ask instead, looking at the alarm clock on my bedside table.

10.30 am.

I groan and get out of bed. The carpet just got cleaned and feels unusually soft under my feet.

"Stop avoiding my question Louis." Nialls voice is harsh.

I continue walking into my bathroom.
I turn the faucet on and let the water get cold. "Luke and I got in a pretty heated argument." I splash water into my face.

"Its not a big deal, really."

"Oh yeah, I saw that when Harry ran out of the house in tears." Niall answers, the sarcasm clear as he speaks.

I splash water into my face a second time

"I said some fucked up stuff about Harry. He'll get over it."

A third time.

No, why the fuck would I like such a disappointment? Also, I'm not a fag like him thank you very much.

A fourth time

Fifth.

Sixth.

Again and again and again.

My skin stings due to the cold. But I can't stop. I won't.

I deserve this pain. It's bearable in contrast to the feeling of remorse deep down in my gut.

I can't do anything about it.

What's said is said.

"Louis stop." Nialls voice is loud. He grabs my shoulders and tears me away from the sink.

"I fucked up Niall." I feel a tear start to run down my cheek as I look him in the eyes.

Niall gulps before pulling me in for a hug.

This cant be happening. I can't cry over a boy. Especially Harry.

Something in me changes. All the sadness, all the pain, it all turns into rage. An indelible fire that makes my gut burn

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