Neighbours

Chapter 119 ~ I Saw It

Noahs Pov:

Bean is 18 days old today. Its currently 6:02am and Dix and i are waking, sitting on our bed, with bean in my arms. Today is also the day that Jenna has to go in the hospital. Living with her.......Correction: Sharing a house with Jenna hasnt been bad; She has been heloing her own self with whatever she needs and is buying things for her self everyonce in a while with whatever little money that she has. Dixie and Jenna even did online shopping for baby clothes for the baby and it was so cute. I love that Dixie is so involved with the babies life. Everyone has been good for these past weeks but Dixie.........Dixie doesnt look too well. Something is off with her but everytime i try to ask her whats wrong, she shuts me off. Anyways, enough recap. Lets get back to the present where Dixie is cuddled up to me, as we sit on the bed, with bean on my other hand

Noah: Try to go back to sleep babygirl

Dixie: No, im fine

Noah: Oh come on. We both know that you arent fine. The last time you were like this, you was a wreck and i cant let you get to that point again

Dixie: Are we going with Jenna? I really really really want to see the baby when she is born, before she arrives here

Noah: It depends on if she wants us there

Dixie: She said i can stay in the room, up by her head so i wont see anything, and give her comfort and you will stay outside and only come inside when she is born. But it really just depends on you now, she said

Noah: You go. I want you to get whatever you want and if thats what you want, then go ahead but there is a possibility that Marc might be there so i wont go. I will loose my control, if i see him

Dixie: I understand

Noah: Bean is such a cute sleeper.....just like his mom

Dixie: And his dad. I know i have been distant for these two weeks and keeping bean to myself most of the time but i promise, its nothing for you to worry about, ok?

Noah: Its my duty to worry about you baby. What else am i here for if not to take care of you and bean? Whenever you are comfortable, i want you to tell md whats going on, ok?

Dixie: Mhm

Noah: And i didnt tell you this but i know you started back cutting and burning yourself

Dixie: No, i didnt

Noah: I saw it on your thighs when we showered together last week Dix. Im not going to be one of those boyfriends to request you to stop. I asked you numerous times but its what gives you a sort of relaxation so i cant stop you. What i want to ask of you though is for everytime you hurt yourself, show me so i can put ointment on it and if you ever feel like hurting yourself, call me so i will be by you as fast as i could, ok?

Dixie: Bean really isnt as lucky as we thought and wanted him to be. His mom hurts herself to feel better

Noah: Trust me baby.....he is more than lucky. He is in a home where his parents wont give him wrong without fully knowing the truth, we wont abuse him and most importantly, we wont neglect him

Dixie: Can i tell you something?

Noah: Always

Dixie: Im really tired.....like really really really tired. This waking up thing everynight, multiple times a night, its tiring me out. I feel life less most of the time. I feel like all my energy is going on only bean. I dont have energy to hang out with you as often, to spend with our family and i dont even have energy to take proper care of myself. All i really do is shower and brush my teeth. I stopped doing face masks, makeup, styling my hair and dressing up and i hate it Noa-