Journal Entry #15: Smile, My Boy...

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[...It's sunrise-  Lmao, sorry. I've been on a roll with chapter titles as references. This time this is a reference to Robin Williams's supposed last words in a movie (not counting the animated film. I mean this as his last words in a movie that he physically stars in, not just voice acting-), which comes from Night At The Museum 3: Secret Of The Tomb. Now if you will excuse me, I am going to cry because of my comfort peepaw: Mr Theodore Roosevelt - 26st president of America. (yes, the president thing is iconic. It must be said each time you introduce Teddy ---) ]


Of course. Of course he had to take away the journal again. Today was the dawn of a new day. To many, the dawn of a new day means good chances, freedom, and happiness, but to me, it means bad chances, pain, and sorrow. 

Oh Gott, I can already feel EU coming and knocking at the door, or worst-case scenario, trying to break in again. I didn't get to finish what I was writing last night, and frankly, I don't even want to go back there. Everything is stressing me out. The only thing I have are the diminishing amount of blank pages I can fill with endless amounts of ramblings and notes.

Last night, Anglo threw the journal away. He said that I write too much and he's demanding my attention. He crawled up to my lap like a cat and kept poking my cheeks with his extra limbs, telling me to sleep with him. I can't remember much after that, aside from me trying to break the ice. 

I asked him, if, hypothetically, he had to move somewhere else again, how would he feel about it. Being the innocent pet he is, he happily told me that he would be excited and asked if we were going to move again. So I rephrased the question but made sure to tell me that I wouldn't be with him when he moves. His cute, precious, happy smile immediately faltered and it looked like he was immediately going to have a breakdown. He hugged me tightly with all 4 of his arms and immediately cried into my chest, staining my shirt with the black gooey shit that keeps dripping from his black and soulless starry eyes. 

I tried to pretend and say that I was joking. It took him a bit of more persuading than usual, but he ended up whimpering to sleep. He was still hugging me and it wasn't like he was going to let me go anytime sooner, so I was forced to go ahead and sleep with him. I guess it was for the best that I didn't try to resist or anything, because this may very well be the last time I'll be able to sleep with him

It's not like I've made a decision yet, but I can already feel it... I don't want to lose him but I thidhdksbzysgakbd


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