Ill rise up

Part 24

Blaire's POV

Sabrina has gone on holiday with her family for a few days. I miss her so much. But I may have also pushed her to go. She needs to spend time with her family. I want nothing more than Sabrina to be happy. I am back to home schooling; it has been going ok. Demi has been homing a lot more which has been nice I guess. Again, it just feels like I am constantly been crowded. I need a break from people. I feel suffocated. I love my family I do but some days are overbearing. Some days I just want to not have to pretend to be happy. Some days I just want to wallow in my own mind. Some days I need to. Some days I just don't want to have to deal with people constantly questioning if I'm ok, the moment my mood changed in the slightest they are all over me. I'm just tired, I guess. It's hard to be constantly watched. It's like no body trust me and that really hurts me. I should be sleeping but I can't so I head down to the studio closing the door. I set myself up with my guitar and start to strum. I've had a song stuck in my head for a few days. It's a beautiful song and it is so accurate, everybody hurts by R.E.M. I decide to record myself singing. It takes a few tries and a few hours but I'm happy. I save it and ill get someone to check it when they wake up tomorrow. I go and lay on my bean bag and Blaze climbs onto me. making me laugh as he effectively hugs me. I feel my eyes get heavy so I message parker quickly.

"in the studio" that way when he wakes up and cant find me in my room he will know.

I'm out with Jake today he wants to get some stuff before Jensen arrives. Oh yea I forgot to mention she is moving in. Jake wanted my opinion on a few things. Its quiet cute really. Its been a bit of a long day and now we are just doing a quick grocery shop.

"do you think I have done enough to make her feel at home" Jake ask making me smile.

"Jake I don't think you could do any more to make her feel at home, you have gone above and beyond. She is very lucky." I say trying to calm his nerves some what. He goes on to explain that he is nervous he has never had a serious relationship before, I cant offer him much advise so I let him talk sometimes that's all he needs. We just about finish up and head to the check out and Jake checks his phone and his face pales a little.

"what the matter Jake" I ask feeling worried.

"nothing kiddo I just checked my bank and spent a bit to much and for some reason it wont let me transfer more money." He explains and I let out a sigh of relief and take out my bank card handing it to him.

"don't worry I have money in here" I say, I can tell he is slightly upset to take it but takes it none the less.

"sorry B ill transfer the money back in once the bank plays nice" he says and I just squeeze his arm. I don't mind if he doesn't send the money back, I think I'm close to get Parker to let me get a job part time. I need to do something I hate replying on everyone on. Plus I need some sort of out a place to escape a little because I don't get to do or go any where on my own. I know a job will be challenging, my anxiety my need for Blaze, the fact people scare me but I think this will help. This will make me stronger. Well hopefully.

Jake is down at the bank trying to sort out some issues and Parker should be home from work already but isn't he should have been home 2 hours ago, he hasn't text me and I'm slightly worried but I refuse to start freaking out and I refuse to bug him with text because I want him to see that I'm getting better at not worrying and been independent because I do want this job. All the sudden I hear a knock at the door which is good because I'm not expecting anyone. I call Blaze and Dexter to walk with me and I grab the baseball bat from near next to Jakes door. I quietly walk down and look through the peep hole. It is a man I feel I have met once and he is holding up, well he is holding up Parker I throw open the door confused. The smell of alcohol instantly hits me causing my anxiety to spike. I see blood on Parkers knuckles.