𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒 • 𝐃𝐓

𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧; 𝐞

𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐒

i got out of my car when i arrived at ethan's house. i walked up to the door and firmly knocked on it, waiting for an answer. lisa opened the door with a worried expression on her face.

"oh y/n. thank god you're here. we can't find ethan." i saw tears begin to prick her eyes at the thought of him being in danger.

"he ran away again?" i furrowed my eyebrows.

i know i should probably be more worried than this but this isn't the first time this has happened and i know it won't be the last.

last year, in our junior year, i moved here from washington. obviously being the new girl, i had no friends. at lunch on my first day, i saw ethan sitting alone at a table in the corner and i decided to go say hi. he was taken by surprise, i guess just by the fact that someone was actually talking to him. he soon accepted the fact that i was trying to be nice and he let me sit with him.

after a couple days of hanging out with him, he told me about how he's lonely because everybody at school bullies him. he told me about how he and his twin brother grayson use to be the most popular students at this school. grayson got into a relationship with this girl named amanda. after a couple of months, grayson broke it off because he didn't have feelings for her anymore and wasn't enjoying their relationship.

she got so mad at grayson that she spread lies that he was an alcoholic and would constantly abuse her, more when he was drunk. the rumor spread and grayson got bullied so much he dropped out of school. ethan only got attacked more once the students main target was gone. so now ethan gets bullied for his brother being a "women beater".

it's been a little over a year since we became best friends and this is probably the fourth or fifth time he's ran away without telling anybody. he usually runs away to clear his head when he gets stressed, gets into an argument with his brother, or when the comments at school are worse than normal.

but what makes me worried is that i didn't get a text. the past couple of times he's ran away, he's sent me a text telling me that he's okay after i told him to start letting me know the first time that i found him. it must be worse this time.

"i'll find him i promise." i gave her a reassuring smile.

"thank you so much." she pulled me into a hug.

i hugged her back then went back to my car, thinking of where he could be. usually i find him at the cafe a couple blocks away but getting the sense that this one was worse, i figured i wouldn't find him there. after a couple minutes of thinking, i started my car and headed towards our spot.

i pulled up to the overlook where me and ethan spend a lot of time and walked up to the top of the hill. the sun had started setting by the time i left my house so by now it was almost dark. but it was still light enough for me to see a figure sitting a bit away from where i was standing.

ethan had his knees pulled up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs, just staring at the view. he looked like he was in deep thought and i could tell he was overthinking whatever it was. i was up next to him and stood there waiting for him to acknowledge my presence.

"ethan" i said quietly when he didn't notice me. he jumped slightly making me want to laugh but i stopped myself when he looked up at me and i saw tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

i took a seat next to him, his eyes still on me. "what's going on bup?" i rested my hand on his back as he looked at the ground.

"n-nothing. i just wanted to get out of the house and get some fresh air." i could tell he was avoiding eye contact as his eyes stayed on the view in front of us.

"ethan i know you're lying. we've known each other long enough, i've figured out your tells." i softly smiled hoping to lighten up the mood at least a little bit. he rolled his eyes but i could tell it was in a joking way.

"tell me what's going on." he looked down at the ground again and sighed before looking up and making eye contact with me.

"it's just...i don't know i feel like i'm being such a burden to you recently. to everybody. i know i'm probably just overthinking everything but i just feel like me and my constant bad mood are just bringing everyone around me down. you're the only person that can make me feel like an actual human being but i hate that i'm dragging you along through all of this. i just don't want you and everyone else to have to come with me when i finally crash and burn." he fiddled with his fingers and a frown was plastered on my face hearing how he felt.

"ethan if i didn't want to be by your side through all of this, i would've left a long time ago. if i didn't think you would turn out to be a great person, i wouldn't have sat at that table with you on my first day. but i saw something in you that drew me closer and i'm so glad i did because you are my best friend and you're one of the best people i've ever met." i said firmly hoping he would understand my words. tears began rolling down his cheeks. i lifted his head up to face me and wiped his tears.

"listen to me ethan. we all got nightmares in our dreams. we look for someone to believe in us and show us the way and make it okay. the world can be dangerous. there's something so rare in your veins, not a single thing i would change. if you only knew how i see you, would come alive again?" he broke his stare away from my eyes when i said that so i directed him back to me with my hands.

"i need you to understand. i don't mind your shadows cause they disappear in the light. cause they look a lot like mine. listen to me, it's okay. don't be afraid. just walk like you're never alone. i don't mind your shadows."

i saw a small smile creep onto his face. i needed him to know that no matter what society wants him to be, what the people at school say the him or what he tells himself, he is perfect the way he is.

"pictures in our head of what we're suppose to be. measuring ourselves, but where is the love? the world got us wondering. and all these voices in our head, well they keep screaming louder and louder. but they won't pull us under."

the last of his tears rolled down his face as he pulled me in for a hug.

"i don't mind your shadows. baby i don't." i mumbled into his hair. we pulled away from the hug and i could see a genuine smile on his face.

"now let's get you home."

*shadows by sabrina carpenter*
a/n: yes two sabrina carpenter songs in a row because her songs are bangers. also realizing i should put the song up top. i wasn't before only because i usually cut out. some lines and the rest of the chorus's so you can't necessarily listen along but i'll still put them at the top.