𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒 • 𝐃𝐓

𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐞; 𝐠

𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆

i sit in my room, bottle in one hand, phone in the other, contemplating what could be the worst decision of my life. fuck it. my drunk conscience tells me as it guides my finger to his contact, clicking the call button. the more the phone rings, the more i begin to regret my decision but it's too late to hang up as i hear his angelic voice come through the phone.

"y/n why are you calling me?" i could hear him sigh on the other end of the phone.

"i'm in my bed, and you're not here." my words flowed out before i could process what i was saying.

"y/n i broke up with you two weeks ago, why would i be there?" i could sense he was getting a bit irritated but my conscience told me to keep going.

"there's no one to blame but the drink in my wandering hands." i said quietly staring down at the half empty bottle.

"you're drinking again? that's the second time this week. y/n-" my mouth cut him off while my brain wanted him to finish talking.

"forget what i said, it's not what i meant. and i cant take it back." my brain was telling me to end it there and hang up but my mouth kept speaking.

"i'm not sure what you mean but i can tell you're drunk. did i do this?" he sounded worried now.

"i can't unpack the baggage you left." i started tearing up thinking about how heartbroken he left me.

"y/n i'm sorry. i told you it's what's best for our futures." he started getting quieter as his voice cracked. he's crying too.

"what am i now?" i thought about who i've become since the break up.

"what?" he was caught off guard by the sudden question.

"what am i now?" i repeated.

"y/n i can't answer that question. that's for you to figure out." i could tell he wanted this conversation to be over and internally i did too.

"what if i'm someone i don't want around?" i was more asking myself than him, i just happened to be on the phone with him.

"if you don't like the person you are then change but why are you talking to me about this?" he said it like it was simple, but it wasn't. i tried.

"i'm falling again." i layed down on the bed and closed my eyes. i heard grayson sigh. he knows what that means.

"i care about you y/n and i don't want you to go through this again without someone by your side but i can't be that someone. not anymore." his voice cracked again at the end causing another tear to slip from my eye onto my pillow.

"you said you care, and you missed me too." i thought back to a couple days ago when i also drunk called him.

"i do. i care so much about you and i obviously miss you but i'm leaving soon. it just wouldn't work." i heard a sniffle come from his end and my heart shattered just a little bit more.

"i'm well aware i write too many songs about you." he knows i write songs, he just never knew they were about him. until now that is.

"so those were about me." he forced out a small chuckle but i could hear the pain in it.

"the coffee's out at Beachwood Cafe." i looked at a polaroid i had of him at our favorite cafe down the street.

"you don't drink coffee anyways so why are you telling me this?" his words were laced with confusion.

"it kills me cause i know we've ran out of things we can say." i was just rambling at this point. i wanted to hang up but my body wasn't allowing me to.

"then why do you keep calling?" he sighed again. he keeps doing that.

"i get the feeling that you'll never need me again." i finally let out my true feelings and the reason i keep calling him.

"i can't do this. goodbye y/n." he sighed one last time before i heard the beep signaling he had indeed hung up on me. i threw the phone down on the bed and stared up at my ceiling.

"i'm falling again."

*falling by harry styles*