Desire

The doctor

"He's going to be in prison for 2 months and then he's got to do Community service- as well as the rehab shit as well" Sarah had just got back from visiting Rafe.
Kat simply nodded, it's only been two weeks and they'd already gotten him his sentence.
"You do realise your statement is one of the reasons why he's even in prison right now" Sarah sat down on the sofa next to the grumpy girl.

They were currently at Kats house.
"Well maybe he shouldn't of beat up a random guy!!!" She huffs getting up, she walks to the kitchen getting a bottle of water out the fridge.
"I'm not blaming you- I'm just confused why your so chill about this, you love him right? I don't get how this hasn't affected you at all, you haven't even mentioned his name in two weeks" Sarah had followed her, The truth is All Kat could keep thinking about was Rafe.

"I don't love him! I never did! I never said that to him or anybody else!" Kat walks back to the sofa.
She hadn't even gone out that much within the two weeks.
No one knew why.
"Fine whatever you say" Sarah didn't believe the girl one bit.

"He keeps asking after you- he wants to see you" Sarah watched as Kat ignored her, she put the tv on.
"Kat for god sake! Listen to what I'm saying!" Sarah takes the controller off Kat.
"What?! What do you want me to say? I'm terrified of him! I won't ever look at him the same way! You were right! We weren't right for each other!" Kat practically screams at Sarah.

"I can't even leave the house- I don't want to see him or anybody, that's how I feel" Kat gulps slightly.
"I didn't know that-" Sarah felt bad for the girl.
She noticed Kat's behaviour, how it was changing, how she looked like she hadn't slept in days.
She wore the same clothes and her hair was unwashed.
"We are going out! Today both of us- get showered and dressed" Sarah folds her arms.

"No- your not listening" Kat's eyes start to water.
"Yes I am! I've also seen this before! I was like this when my mum died! I didn't want to leave my bedroom let alone the house- I was scared, the best thing you can do is get dressed and leave the house" Sarah grabbed onto Kat's hand leading her up to the bathroom.
She turned the shower on giving Kat a towel.

"I'll wait out here" she closes the door.
About 15 minutes later Kat was showered and was getting changed.
"We are going to see the pouges, Sage is already there" Sarah started to brush Kat's hair.
She couldn't ignore how Kat's hands shake, she was scared. Which was understandable.

"Your lucky- my cars out front so we don't have to walk" Sarah smiles at the girl.
Soon enough they were both in the car, they pull up to the house.
Everyone outside with beers.
"I can't-" Kat felt like she was going to be sick, she hadn't even drank anything yet.
"Yes you can- I won't leave you" Sarah squeezed Kat's hand.

She hops out the car first, she waits for Kat to do the same.
Everyone was looking at her, waiting.
Kat took a deep breath , gently pushing the door open.
Kat noticed Sage and Kie sat in the corner, all touchy.
"Hey Kat how you doing?" John B asked causally.

"Fine- you?" Kat really didn't want to be here, she was mad at herself, she didn't know why she was so scared.
Was she scared of Rafe or what he could do? Was she scared of herself? Maybe it was just guilt?
All she knew was she couldn't get the image of Jeremy's face out of her head.

"We're all good, we've missed you" JJ stood up smiling at her.
"I can't do this- I'm going home" Kat scoffed slightly, trying to hide her tears- the crack in her voice.
"I'll go after her" she heard Jj call after her but she kept walking.
"Kat wait!" He patted her shoulder, she jumped turning towards him.
"Don't! Don't touch me!" Kat was overly angry, it took J by surprise.

"What's wrong Kat? If it's about Rafe then-" he starts off about the person Kat definitely didn't want to talk about.
"It's about you! I just need to be alone for a while , I'm sorry!" She took a gasp of breath letting out tears.
"It's about the kiss? Isn't it- you don't have to worry about Rafe he's gone, he doesn't know" he didn't understand.
It wasn't about Rafe.
It was about him, the kiss, how she'd forgotten everything she liked about herself because of a boy.