You Are My Sunshine // A Finnick Fanfic

Chapter Twenty - Training

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked as Finnick sat me down on the couch. At this point I had already showered and eaten some food. Finnick seemed restless, not being able to sit down next to me. I think this had been bothering him since he found out that I knew. I just wanted the truth.

"You have to understand Reef, I wanted to so badly." He told me, getting down on his knees and holding my hands in his while I looked into his eyes. A part of me thought he was going to start crying.

"Finnick, why didn't you tell me?" I repeated and he took a deep breath.

"Because I didn't want you to look at me the same way I look at myself in the mirror." He said and I felt my heart shatter. "I hate myself for what they've done to me, even if I can't do anything about it. I just couldn't stand the thought of you looking at me like I was some kind of... well, I don't know..." Finnick looked down ashamed but I pressed my hands against his cheeks and forced him to look me in my eyes.

"Finnick," I said softly, "I would never look at you differently." I told him but he shook his head. "Finnick, I love you, but you have to trust me." I told him and he nodded, kissing my hand.

"I trust you with my life Reef." He said and I pressed my forehead against his. Suddenly, I could feel his body trembling as he lifted his head to look at me. Then I saw the tear run down his cheek. "They did so many things to me Reef. So many things that I hated. It was horrible and I wanted to tell you but I couldn't."

"Why not?" I asked softly, pushing his hair out of his face and wiping the tear that fell from his eye.

"Because then they'd kill you." He told me and I was taken aback. "I couldn't let that happen."

"What?" I asked in shock.

"If they found out about us then they'd kill someone I love, someone that means the world to me, and that's you." He said and I wrapped him up in my arms.

   It wasn't everyday that you see Finnick vunrable like this, and I didn't think I'd ever see it again. He hated looking like this, like a train wreck. I couldn't care less; if someone called me a train wreck I'd probably agree. But everyone's different.

   "We have to go to training tomorrow." I said, trying to change the subject for his sake. Finnick lifted his head, taking a deep breath and almost instantly changing moods. Again, he is a hard person to understand.

   "I'm thinking that making friends with Katniss isn't my strong suit." Finnick said and I laughed, holding his head.

   "I'll give it a shot." I told him, pressing my lips against his forehead but he still looked unhappy. He couldn't hide it from me. "When all this is over, you'll be free." I told him. "Then you can marry me." Finnick's head shot up and he looked terrified which made me laugh. "I'm kidding." I said and he let out an anxious laugh.

   "I still don't understand why you don't hate me for this." He said but I shook my head, kissing him passionately.

   "How can I hate you for something that wasn't your fault?" I asked and he didn't say another word after that. "Come on, we better get some rest."

   Casimir escorted us to the training facility which was just underneath the apatments like last year. I guess not everything changed since the last time I was here. Finnick and I wore a black and white training uniform that was tight on my body. But it wasn't too snug to the point where it was uncomfortable so I couldn't complain.

    "You guys good from here?" Casimir asked and we nodded. "Then I'll see you two later." And then with that, the man closed the elevator and left us on our own.