Smoking Cigarettes

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A u s t i n

I pass the box of cigarettes to the cashier and smile "Good evening" I say and the chaser smiles "That's all for today?" the woman says and I nod and take out my card. "Do I have any rewards?" I ask.

"yep, two dollars would you like to use them?" She asks and I nod "please" I answer. then I put my card in. 

"Have a good day sir" she says and dI smile and walk out of the store. 

I drive to my brother's place and park the car getting my cigarettes I knock on his door. "hey dude" he opens the door.

"Hey Sam," I say and make my way to the couch and I plop on the couch.  "yo, are you okay?" Sam sits next to me with a worried face. 

I chuckle and hold in my tears "yeah I'm fine" I say and I open the box of cigarettes "W-what are you doing?" Sam says worriedly. 

"Uh smoking cigarettes?" I light the cigarettes and put them between my lips. I turn and see Sam upset. 

I roll my eyes "what?"

He stutters "Uh no nothing." I groan "just say it" 

"it's just the first time I see you smoking after Lauren's pass," Sam says and my eyes widen. Holy shit he's right. I just replied with "I know" and continued smoking.

"Austin, did something happen?"

I laugh and cough on the cigarette "yes, in fact, the person I love left me and I'm raising her kid" I sigh " Oh, and did I mention I met this girl and she reminds me of the woman who left me" I say.

"Austin, you know she didn't leave you...She loved you but it was her time to go" He passes me water and I take a sip which calms me down. 

"do you want to talk about it?" Sam says and I gently nod. I start to tell him everything and we stay and talk for about two hours then I notice that I have to go back home. 

I hug him and walk out the door. 

~~~~~

[the next day]

I open my eyes and gasp when I see Daniel's face in my face. "gosh" I groan and sit up. ": What is it, buddy?" I ask. 

"sage is here" he smiles. 

My eyes widen, that must mean Bella is here as well. I get up and walk to the bathroom and wash my face. after brushing my face I make my way to the door and gasp when I see her.

"Lauren?!" I say shocked. 

"Hey...." she waves. 

B e l l a

"Mommy!" I gasp when  I hear someone yell. I turn and see Sage "I wanna see Daniel!" She smiles and I groan. I turn and check the clock. "baby it's 7 am" I groan and lay back down. 

"But I made food and  I wanna see Daniel. " I lay back up and get out of bed. "Fine," I say and make my way to shower.

After my shower, I change into my sweatpants and a large hoodie. After what happened with Mykes I have been tired, depressed, and miserable. 

I can't sleep at night, I feel sad every day, I don't trust anyone anymore. To be honest I don't know if I trust Sage anymore. I hate myself for it she's my baby how can I not trust her?

Am I horrible for that?

Do I deserve to be her mother after what happened with Myles?

Then I snap out of my thoughts when I hear Sage call my name "Coming baby!" I yell and walk downstairs. 

I grab my keys and walk outside "Mommy?" I turn around and see Sage frowning "I made us food," she says and I smile "let's go eat." then I close the door and sit at the table.

~~~~~

After eating we got in the car and I drove to daniel's house and we knocked on the door but no one anwserd.

before we left someone opened the door and I gasp when I see a woman.

"Who are you?" We say at the same time.

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