Those Five Words

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A u s t i n

The next day I make my way to the shower and I hum a song. It's the song Bella and I always play.

But before I enter the shower I hear my phone ring so I answer the call.  I smile when I hear Bella's doctor. "Hey Dr," I say but I hear silence, I know something's wrong. 

"What's wrong?" I feel my eye become teary. The doctor sigh and says "We need you to come to the hospital, now"

I change and bring the kids to the car, the whole way to the hospital was nothing but silence. I think the kids know...


~~~~

I smack the doors open and I run to the doctor "What happened?" I ask and she looks at me with a sour face. 

She licks her lips and her hand touches my shoulder. "I'm so sorry, there's nothing we could've done" I feel my heart shatter into millions of pieces and I fall to my knees and I cry. 

No, she wound't leave me. 

"She had another month!" I raise my voice and the tears flow down my face. 

"Her heart failed when we gave her the pain medicine I'm very sorry" she looks at me and says "I'm sorry for your loss" and walks away. 

I sob and sob until my eyes become pink and my head hurts. 

I can't let Bella go, she's my everything, what will happen when she leaves me??

I hear Daniel and Sage call my name. 

I turn and walk to them. "Daddy what's wrong?" Daniel says. I sit next to the kids and I turn to Sage and hug her. 

How do I tell sage her mom left. 

I turn to Sage and smile "Sage, your mom left" I lick my lips as I feel my lips quiver. "Where is she going" She looks at me with her mom's eyes and I break down crying. 

"Will she come back?" Sage looks at me curiously and I shake my head and I look up to her and frown "Mommy's not coming back"

"Well, why not?" I hear her petite voice say. 

I look down and feel my tears fall down. I look up at Sage "Sometimes people don't come back"

"Ever?" She looks at me with sad eyes and I see Daniel hug her. 

The thing that killed me the most was seeing Sage so curious and I can't help but think about how Sage doesn't understand what's going on. 

"your mommy's watching you Sage" Daniel whispers. Sage looks around and says "can I see her?" 

I can't help but sob even more so I run to the bathroom and break down. I didn't know she was leaving and I didn't say goodbye.

I wish I could see her one last time. I would kill to be with her but I know the kids need me.


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