conversing tensions | oihina

11 | burgers are a hanker food

looking out for you - joy again

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something about you just makes me feel guilty for liking you...

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Oikawa's POV

This is so awkward... I glanced over at Shouyou as he bit into his burger, obviously feeling as awkward as me.

I don't really... know any of his tastes or anything... I'm glad I went for the classic Wcdonalds...

"So... do you like burgers?" He took a sip of his milkshake and turned to me. "Not really. They're greasy and fatty and the seasoning in the meat makes it hard to digest, but... It's nice once in a while. Plus, the milkshakes here are super yummy."

He took another drink of his milkshake and my heart melted. Yummy? That's so cute~

"Yeah, I see where you're coming from. Burgers should be an uncommon treat. Maybe like a low-key hanker food."

"Hanker food?" Now, his eyes were on me completely, coated thickly with curiosity. "Oh, you know, a food craving, a hankering for a certain food, hanker food."

 This made him chuckle, and I was happy to hear such a lovely sound come from him. I was happy to get his mind off of Miya. "I didn't know you grew up to be such a dork!"

"Saying it like that makes you sound old!"

We were laughing together, and it made me so ecstatic to see Shouyou smiling that beautiful smile again. The fact that he could laugh around me after what I had done makes me a little less tense.

When it got silent again, Shouyou was the one to break it after coming back to the table from the trashcans. "I've... been acting like a jerk all this time, so I'm not sure how I'm supposed to act around you now..."

I placed my head in my hand, turning to him with an encouraging smile. "Just act like yourself. I'm more than ready to accept anything."

"Then, I'll call you an asshole for the rest of our lives." He sealed that deal by stamping the side of his fist onto his palm.

"Go ahead, it's just a turn-on, anyway."

When his nose scrunched up like a bunny's, I couldn't fight the grin pulling on my face.

"I was joking, ew."

Ew, huh? Damn...

He slid his elbows down on the table so that one hand was holding onto his arm, acting as a rest for his chin, and the other was playing around with his hair as he thought.

I want those hands in my hair so bad...

"Then... I'll just say what I feel, To-San."

That's an idea I can get along with. I smiled at him, also shrinking down on the table and turning my head in his direction. "Sounds good to me."

"To-San?"

"What's up?"

His eyes drifted away from mine until he scooted closer to me and held onto my shirt sleeve. He was bashful, glancing around before offering me a soft smile. "I missed you."

To say my heart literally fucking stopped would simply be untrue. It wouldn't stop beating. In fact, it was beating so fast that the beats were mixing together and I couldn't figure out if Shouyou hears it or not and-

"And... I really wouldn't ever say anything bad about you. You were my best friend and you knew so much about me that I was scared to even think about your secrets in another person's presence. I'd never say something so cruel."

I gulped and nodded like an idiot, like a dork as Shouyou kindly phrased. It's true, though, I know every single secret of Shouyou's. Well, the ones from middle school, anyway.

From the time he broke something and blamed Natsu to the time I caught him masturbating in his bedroom after crawling through the window, I knew it all.

And he definitely had dirt on me, too.

"Anyway, just... I get why you'd leave me... I'd have done the same thing if I heard you had said that. Just wanted you to know."

I'm so glad we're at the back table so I can reach over and brush the hair from his eyes. "Shou-Chan, I know you enough to know that you're still upset, and I would be, too, so that's why, from here on, I'm gonna make up for all the time I missed being with you."

Shouyou's cheeks heated up against my hand, our faces still resting on our arms on the table. His eyes began watering, and the last thing I expected was for tears to begin dripping from his eyes. Even he seemed shocked.

"Ah, hey, hey, seriously, Shou-Chan... Come on, let's go to the bathroom."

I grabbed our stuff and blocked Shouyou from everyone's view as we walked to the bathroom. He was desperately wiping at his eyes, his face one of embarrassment and shock.

Once we were securely locked in the single bathroom, I helped him up onto the counter and began wiping at his face, but much softer than he had been doing.

"Sorry, sorry... God, this is so embarrassing..."

I kissed his hand. I kissed his forehead and cheek. I wanted to make sure he knew his tears weren't useless, that each one held meaning, each one meant something to me.

They were proof that he had needed me all this time, yet I wasn't there for him. I was going to cherish every bit of him for the rest of my life, tears included.

"To-San..." His cheeks were a darker shade of red, his eyes shut tight and his lips pressed together. "That's... weird..."

Of course it was weird to him, I'm a guy, I was kissing him, his soft, delectable skin. "Sorry, I thought it'd help calm you down, haha. Why the sudden tears?"

I made sure to change the subject fast, and, thankfully, he was unsuspecting. "Uh, I... don't really know... I just... really miss hanging out with you..." He started playing with his fingers, his voice cracking as if he was losing control of himself again.

"And I was just kind of... overwhelmed with happiness..." His arms were over his face, hiding it from me while he tried to calm himself. It must be hard for him to share his feelings with someone after all this time.

It makes me happy that he's trying to be open to me... or maybe after all our years together, it just comes naturally to us.

I pulled him close to me, guiding my arms around his waist and holding him close to my chest. His arms wrapped themselves around my neck and held me closer. 

"I-" love you. "-missed you, Shou-Chan... Thank you for giving me another chance."

He hummed into my shoulder, and I could only smile in contentment.

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