Casanova {Marauders Era} [Completed]

Of Beautiful Birds

I didn't leave my room. I lay awake every night and stared at my canopy, wondering how my night could go wrong, wondering if my 'mark' would curse me that night.
People brought me food. I had just gotten into eating full meals again. Sometimes it was Lily, sometimes it was Sirius, sometimes it was Frank, sometimes Remus, and sometimes Jinxy, but never Mother. She must have still been angry with me for bringing Sirius. Matthew would try talking to me every now and again.
One day, part way through summer, I left my room. I peeked my head out my door, to make sure no one was around.
I crept down the stairs and snuck into the library. I sat at the piano and ran my fingers lightly over the keys.
The feeling soothed me. My heart lifted, and I felt like flying. I started pressing the keys, the notes melding together to make music.
The song seemed fluid, gentle, calming. I played, and as I did, I slowly remembered who's piano this was. My father's.
And suddenly, all the pain and weakness and grief I had felt over the past few days came back and hit me like a tsunami. Without me even realizing, the music, although it was still fluid, became rough, angry, hard, until all that was left was me slamming my fists onto the keys unmercifully.
"River!" A voice shouted, though it sounded distant. As I raised my fists to smash my piano even further, a pair of hands gently grabbed my wrists. I pulled against them, tears forming and falling from my eyes.
"River, River." I knew whose voice it was now. Sirius knelt next to me, my wrists still in his hands. I stared down at the bent piano keys in shame.
"River, it's been days. You have to get over yourself. Please, it's not good for you," Sirius said, stroking the back of my hands with his thumbs. I sniffed.
"I hated him for my entire life, ever since he left. I hated everything he did. I hated the things he gave me, everything he touched. I even hated Mother and Frank because they were his. But the worst thing," I choked on my own words,"I hated myself, Sirius. I hated myself because I couldn't make him stay, because I was his, because he could come back at any moment an I would still love him!" I kicked the piano leg.
"River, your arm." I looked down. Part of my right arm started to grow purple, fuzzy hair.
"Look at me. I'm a monster," I whispered, bowing my head. Sirius kissed my temple, pulling me to my feet.
"River, you are not a monster, and you had every right to hate that man. Now, I'm super good at sappy stuff, so I'll just be quiet," he said. He pulled me into a hug.
After a few minutes of him just holding me, he pushed away, staring past me, a small smile on his face.
"Let's fix this thing," he said, pulling out his wand. I bit the inside of my bottom lip and grabbed his sleeve gently between my fingers. He smiled down at me, which I returned with a sad smile of my own. He fixed my father's piano with one fell swoop of his wand.
"You're getting better at non-verbal spells," I said. He chuckled.
"I know." He turned to look at me, arms around waist, "Play the first tone again, the pretty one." I laughed.
"I don't think I've ever heard you use the word pretty before," I said as I sat on the bench. He shrugged.
"You're pretty." He leaned in and kissed my cheek.
I thought of the piece of music I had played before. I frowned.
"What's-"
"Shush, Sirius, I'm thinking," I said. As I remembered, my fingers pressed into the keys. Sirius grin.
"I find you prettier when you concentrate on other things," he said. I looked up to him and raised my eyebrows.
"On other things?"
"When you're not focused on me." He flashed a cocky grin. I rolled my eyes.
"I never concentrate on you." I said, a small smile of my own playing at my lips. Sirius scoffed.
"Ask anyone, you're always thinking about me," he said, leaning against the piano. I shook my head and kept playing, adding new notes to the ones I had made minutes ago.
He sat and listened to me ply for a very long time, but I don't know how long. I got lost. I got lost in the music I was creating, the smell of my library, the feel of the piano beneath my fingers, the sight of Sirius listening to me play without protesting, without moving except to the light beat.
"Serana? Serana?" A voice shouted from outside the library. I stopped playing. Sirius frowned.
"What is it?" He asked. he hadn't herd the voice.
"Mother. She's looking for me," I said. I stood after shutting the piano.
"River, you don't have to answer to her," he said. I nodded.
"I know." We both knew what she wanted. Sirius had been in my house for as long as I was in my room, and now that I was out, she wanted him gone. I sighed as I pushed open the door. I looked back at Sirius. I reached out my hand for him to take it. He did so.
"Yes, Mother?" I asked, holding tightly to Sirius' hand. Mother looked at me from her place at the base of the stairs. Her face was red from anger.
"I said he could stay until you got out of your room. You're out, so why is he still here?" She asked.
"Mrs. Longbottom-" I stepped in front of Sirius, stopping him from speaking.
"He's here because I want him here," I said, "I haven't been up that long. You expect someone to sit by my room for days to jut get up and leave the second I get out of my room?"
"Yes, I did expect that," Mother said, crossing her arms. I glared at her.
"What do you have against Sirius anyway? All he's ever done to you is being good to me," I stopped and thought for a second, "I don't think I phrased that correctly, but the point is that he's done nothing wrong." Mother laughed.
"You think he's done nothing wrong? All the people he's messed with, all his detentions, everything he's done has been wrong." Something about her words hurt. I didn't know whether I should yell at her in anger or step back in pain.
"So, you mean to tell me that him deciding that I was a good girlfriend for him was wrong? Are you trying to tell me that him and I are wrong?" My voice was loud, but it broke.
"I'm saying you could do better," she said. Her statement triggered anger in my heart.
"You can't make that decision for me. I make those decisions. I've been with him for a while, I've been friends with him for almost three years. I will decide if I could 'do better'. An he will decide if he could do better, but for now, we are happy, and I love him." I quickly covered my mouth with my hands. Mother took a step back. I hadn't meant to say the last four words aloud, but I had. I couldn't bring myself to look at Sirius. Either he was grinning like a mad person, or he was standing wide-eyed, ready to run. Either way, he was just as shocked as Mother and I.
"I...I..." I stuttered, unsure what to say. Mother looked even more enraged than she was before. I stared her down. I moved my hands from my mouth.
"Sirius, you'd better go," I told him, not looking at him. He kissed my cheek and whispered, "Meet me when you can."
He jogged towards the door and opened it, sending one last glance my way before leaving. It was silent as he shut the door behind him.
"Where's Frank and Jackie?" I asked, crossing my arms and refusing to look my mother in the eye.
"Don't change the subject," she growled. I bit my lip.
"I'm not, just hoping one of them is in their room so I can run and hide with them," I said. Mother didn't laugh, nor did she smile like she might have done under different circumstances. She held her glare. I rubbed my arm bashfully, turning my head to the side, overly embarrassed that I had said what I did.
"You want me to leave, don't you?" I asked her. Mother sighed.
"I just need to cool off, roll things over," she said. I nodded. I wrung my hands.
"Should I pack some clothes?" I asked. She shrugged.
"If you want." I nodded again. I turned and walked upstairs.
I grabbed a small rucksack from my closet. I sucked in a deep breath. I stashed some clothes inside, along with my wand, my make-up, and a few other random things. I added my books, mostly my school books, but also all the books I got from Charlie and Emily.
It was already a heavy bag, but I needed one last thing. I grabbed the red coat from my mirror.
I ran down the stairs and grabbed the doorknob of my house.
"Serana?" Jackie's voice called from the balcony.
I turned.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going to Lily's, to spend the night," I lied.
"When will you be back?" He asked.
"I don't know. You know Lily and I. We like spending weeks with each other," I said smoothly.
"Write me?"
"Of course."
I turned and left the house and, as I shut the door, I felt my heart break, just a little.