Casanova {Marauders Era} [Completed]

Make Me Stronger

"Pick yourself up," I mumbled to myself, "Why even cry?" I was laying in my Gryffindor Dorm room, staring at the ceiling, willing myself to get up, to go to the library or the Quidditch Pitch and not mope around all day.
Someone said, a broken heart would sting at first, then make you stronger. I wonder why this pain remains. Where hearts made whole just too break?
"Something's gotta change." I continued talking to myself.
"Rani, don't force yourself into anything. You loved Sirius and he broke your heart. You can lie down for a while," Jinxy said, once again sitting on my bed. I huffed.
"I'm sick and tired of sitting in bed! I don't want to be that girl who mopes around for months on end because her boyfriend left her. I'm a big girl now, I can take it."
I couldn't take it. Just seeing him made a dagger go through my heart. Every time I saw him, or heard him laugh, or he spoke in class, the wound in my side stung. Actually, thinking about it, every time I was nervous or scared or stressed my side hurt.
Anyway, the both of us moved on. He went on hanging around the Marauders, I went on with my girls, and Reg. I knew it'd piss Sirius off, and boy did I want to piss Sirius off. We remained friends, sort of. We hung out together when the others were around each other, but there was a false sense of friendship between us.
I hated him, he still loved me. He hated me, I loved him. It wasn't a pleasant combination. We fought a lot when the others weren't around. Sometimes we'd bump into each other and I wouldn't apologize or mumble something and he'd complain about us still being able to be friends, which always fired me up and I'd start yelling at him and he'd be yelling and then someone would come round and we'd walk away and I'd start crying.
Sometime in February, I turned a corner and caught him, as you've probably guessed, snogging another girl. If you think I was made enough about that, wait till you hear who he was snogging. You've probably guessed it again, Mary Mc-Freaking-Donald. That's right.
The fury boiled in me so hot and so fast, and the words came out of my mouth so quickly, I couldn't stop them.
"Mary? Really Sirius? If you wanted a downgrade from me, you certainly went to the right person." I turned on my heel and stormed in the opposite direction. Tears Welles up in my eyes. Sirius ran up behind me.
"Apologize, Serana," Sirius said. I froze. My blood turned to ice instantly,l; I curled my hands into fists and turned slowly.
"What?"
"Apologize to Mary. That was a terrible thing to say to her," he said. His voice was calm and steady. I didn't know how he could do it. So I tried myself. I let out something between a scoff and snort.
"You sure moved on quickly," I said, crossing my arms. Sirius sighed.
"Don't do this, Serana-"
"Do what?"
"Don't act like you're a victim in all of this!" This is where the shouting begins.
"I am the victim, Sirius! I don't have a home, a mother, and now I don't have you. I got disowned so I could be with you!" I said, my voice shaking with fury.
"That's why I broke it off! Because you got disowned because of me!" He was just as angry as I was. He had no right to be.
"No, not because of you, for you! I loved you so I was willing to give up a home to be with you! And you throw that back in my face like it meant nothing." My voice grew low and a tear fell from one of my eyes while the other Welled up.
"Well, no you can go back."
"She's not going to take me back. She doesn't want me. I lost her, I lost Frank, I lost Jackie, I lost... I lost Tonks. And now," I tried to hold back my tears,"And now I've lost you." That was it. That was my last straw. The tears rolled down my cheeks. I tried to stop them, and I tried to cover them with my hands, but either way, Sirius knew they were there. He pulled me into his chest and for a brief second, I thought we could reconcile, we could be together again. But my stubbornness wouldn't let us.
"I love you," I said through my tears," I still love you." Sirius kissed the top of my head then rested his chin on it.
"I know, I know." I pushed away from him.
"But I also hate you. Don't ever talk to me again." With that I stormed off again.
"I love you too!" Sirius called after me.
"Go to hell, Sirius Black."
What I did next I regret more than anything I've ever done.
I finally managed to make my way over to the Great Hall. I walked in with tears rolling down my cheeks and anger written all over my face. My eyes scanned the Slytherin Table. I finally spotted the person I wanted. I marched over to him.
"Ana, you okay?" Cissy asked as I walked past. I ignored her. I continued down to where Lucy was talking with Tony. I grabbed Tony's robes and pulled him to his feet.
"Ana, how's it going?" He asked with his cocky grin.
"Oh shut up." I, oh gosh this is embrassing, I kissed him. Right there. Do you want to know how many of my Gryffindor friends were there? All of them.
I pulled off of him and stared wide eyed. What had I just done?
"So, Ana-" He didn't get to finish because I let go of his robes and ran off.
Lily found me a few hours later in my spot in the library. I had my knees up And pressed against the bookshelves on my right and left, my head and hands hanging limply between them.
I'd stopped crying a while ago, and was just sitting, mopping.
"Don't you think you're getting a bit big for this spot?" She asked, leaning against the bookshelf.
"Yeah. I can barely fit," I said, making a small laugh escape my lips. I turned so my back was pressed against on of the bookcases. Lily sat next to me.
"You kissed Antonin Dolohov," she said.
"I know." And we were laughing.