Begin Again // All of Us Are Dead

004

OH YUN-BI drinks the water from her bottle as soon as their practice session for the day ended. Some students already left while some are like her, still catching their breaths.

A few minutes later, she heard steps approaching she direction. "Yun-bi, can I talk to you?" Chae-won, their club president asks her.

She nods and breaks into a small smile. "Sure." Yun-bi really likes her and the other seniors so she's happy whenever they talk to her.

The older girl looks around before started talking. "You did really well in all our practice and I'm really great that you've been part of the team. So, I hope you don't take offense on what I'm about to say."

"It's fine, just tell me," Yun-bi replies, having no idea what her senior is about to tell her.

"Have you recently gained weight?" Yun-bi only stared at her senior and cannot comprehend what she just heard. "I mean you look really good. You are very pretty, and you have a nice body, but I saw your posts from your instagram account. I thought that you gained weight," the girl continues when Yun-bi did not respond to her first question.

"I mean, I have not been in a diet for few weeks now so.." she answers.

"Ooh that's why you gained weight," Chae-won says, seemingly oblivious to her words' effect to the younger girl. "Then maybe you could easily loose those weight. I just thought that since you're the center in a lot of the formations, it would be great if you look perfect."

Yun-bi stares at her for few second before gaining the ability to respond. "Uhm-uhh sure. I mean.. I can probably do that," she finally says then immediately picked up her bag then started walking towards the door.

"That's great! Thank you for all your efforts for this club," the club president says before the girl could close the door.

Once Yun-bi shuts the door, she cannot help but lean on the close door. Her heart started beating so fast. She cannot breathe properly, and it feels like a weight was placed on top of her chest.

There it is again. She hated these moments. When people make her feel like her efforts were not enough, like she's not enough. At all.

She started walking away from the room when she heard a voice in front of her. "Yun-bi," Su-hyeok calls her, but then realize that her hand was placed on her chest, clenching. "Hey, are you alright?" He asks with concern in his voice.

"I'm fine, just.." she starts but was not able to continue. Her mind keeps on repeating the words Chae-won had tell her. It keeps on hearing the words from her trainers and coaches before. Their words that seemed so full of concern for her but are like knives to Yun-bi.

She suddenly stands up straight then look directly in Su-hyeok's eye. "Don't do that anymore," she says which makes him look at her with obvious confusion in his face. "The coffee. Don't bring me one anymore. I don't even like it. The breakfast I bought, I did that just as a payment for the coffee. So, you don't have to do that ever again," she continues with a serious look on her face. With that she started walking away from him.

***

LEE SU-HYEOK was left standing in the hallway. He doesn't know why but hearing her say that caused a bolt of pain in his chest.

He sighs and starts walking home, already forgotten his intent of talking to her.

For the following days, Su-hyeok felt that Yun-bi became distant from everyone. She barely talks to anyone. And if ever she did, it is only when it is really necessary.

He would also barely see her in canteen during their lunch. And he grows more and more concern of her when he saw her lose some weight. She looks thinner since the time she snapped at him when he tried to talk to her after their practice.

It was the following week, and the school event is on Friday so their class has been so busy preparing for their booth. It is also the same reason he tries to convince himself with for Yun-bi's action. Maybe she's just tired. It was only her second week here after all..

***

OH YUN-BI was changing her school uniform into their attire for the dance performances. She feels so tired from all the practices they hand and all the studying she had to do.

Once she wore her skirt, she realized that it was loose in her waist. She forgot to try on the clothes the day before. She went back to their classroom while holding her skirt to keep it from falling off.

"Nam-ra, do you have a safety pin?" She asks their class president who's also her seatmate.

Su-hyeok heard this and grew more concern for her.

Nam-ra looks at her then spotted her hand holding her skirt. "Yup.. here," she says then gave Yun-bi the safety pin. "Are you okay? You seemed to lose weight?" She asked in concern to the new girl.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's normal. I've just been having so much physical activities this past few days," Yun-bi immediately replies before going back to the bathroom to fix her skirt.

***

OH YUN-BI immediately pack up her things and placed her bag on her back after their last performance. She doesn't feel so good. Her body is so tired and all she wanted to do is just lie down and sleep until tomorrow afternoon.

Yun-bi walks past the part of their grounds where all the booths are placed when she heard a familiar voice call her. A voice she hasn't heard in a while. "Yun-bi!"

To be honest, she regrets everything she have said to him. She was too occupied with negative thoughts that time that she just snapped at him for no reason.

"Are you going home already?" He asks her as soon as he reached her.

Yun-bi looks at the ground. She cannot even look at his eyes, feeling so guilty. "Yeah, I'm tired so I'll just go home and take a rest."

"Yeah, you've been working so hard. You deserve a rest," he says with a small smile on his face.

"Bye, enjoy the event," she says before turning around and started walking away.

When Yun-bi reached their home, she was already feeling so dizzy. She decided to go straight to her room, but before she could reach it, dark spots suddenly appear in her vision then she fell on the ground.

***

OH YUN-BI woke up in a sound of quiet beeping of a machine on her side. She felt a little headache and when she reached for her head, she felt a light tug in her arm. She looked at it and saw a dextrose attached to her left arm.

"Oh Yun-bi." A voice from her right calls her. When she looked to her side, she saw her grandmother with a very serious face staring at her.

"What happened?"

"You fainted last night. The doctor said over fatigue and very low sugar level," she answers. "Have you been skipping your meals again? I thought you're already doing well in school, but you came back to that habit again," she continues as she looks at Yun-bi with disappointment.

Yun-bi diverted her eyes to her hand. "I- I just needed to lose weight for the event," she explains with low voice.

"So you really did it on purpose?!"

She looked at her grandmother with pleading eyes. "They said I needed to lose weight.."

Her grandmother let out a heavy sigh before walking towards her and holding her hand, "I thought we're done with this. You don't need to sacrifice your health just to please the others. You are perfect, even my most beautiful grandchild."

Yun-bi chuckles. "But I'm your only grandchild," she says while pouting.

The older lady gave her a hug. "Quit that dance club. Maybe it's better to stay away from the things you used to do as a trainee." Yun-bi nods on her embrace. "Also, you have to eat, okay? We'll take it slow, just how much you can take."

She started to feel a heavy weight on her chest. She regrets doing it after realizing that it doesn't only hurt her, but also the people who cares for her.