Identifying Our Trope (Metanoia Series #1)

Epilogue

Epilogue

Lucas' POV

[flashbacks]

Hindi na rin naman ako nakatulog dahil sa hindi ko pa rin ma process na nandito si Nat sa building na 'to. She's just next door! How is that even possible? It's not like I'm complaining about but, what now? Ilang oras na ang lumipas at nag ka-araw na ay hindi ko pa rin alam ang gagawin ko.

Ano nga ba ang gagawin ko? May dapat ba?

I can't just approach her, right? She'll definitely think that I'm a creep.

The way she talks and how she answered me makes it more obvious that she hates me now. Ang sakit. Ang sakit sakit. Ang dami naming pinagdaanan pwede pa kaya? May chance pa ba?

Galit ba siya sa akin dahil bumitaw ako non? Galit ba siya dahil isang araw sinabihan ko na lang siya na iwan na 'ko?

I never wanted to leave her. I never wanted to hurt her, but I know to myself that it'll just hurt her more if she sees how I suffer.

My mother helped me— we seeked for a professional. I could say that it was a good decision that I told her about my condition. Look at me now, better than yesterday. Sometimes, I wonder, if Nat didn't go to my condo that day would I be still alive today? Will I be where I am now?

With all those breakdowns and sufferings, my efforts did pay off. Sa dinami-rami ng pinagdaanan ko I was still able to get up and continue chasing my dreams.

Failure.

That was the word that scared me the most in my college years. I thought that if I would fail, saan na 'ko pupulutin? Kaya ko pa ba? Kakayanin ko ba na mag-try ulit?

Honestly, I never thought that I would be that conscious with my grades. Having one to five mistakes makes me hate myself already.

Why can't I do better?

Why is it not enough?

If there's one thing that I want to say to the college Lucas, I would always tell him that he is enough and failing is part of the process.

Failing doesn't always mean that it's the end of the world. Sometimes it's only a way for us to open a new door— a new beginning, where we could get new opportunities and learn from our mistakes but sometimes we're unable to do that because we are all blinded by the fact that we 'failed'.

Failing means new opportunities to learn. There's no such thing as a 'failure' because we can always try again. There's always room for us to try again and there's no limit to that.

I was drinking my tea as I walked towards the balcony in my room. I would always go here whenever I want fresh air or when I have to think. The view helps me, it's beautiful.