chapter 93

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Alex takes a deep breath as both she and Jasper get out of the car. He quickly stands beside her and intertwines their fingers. Alex smiles at him out of habit and love before they walk towards the house, hearing a loud squeel as they open the door.

"Finally!" Alice embraces the pair before taking a step back and looking at the two. "You," she points towards Jasper. "Are needed outside." He chuckles and kisses Alex' cheek before going outside to the rest of the male Cullens. "You.." she sighs. "You'll look beautiful."

Alex raises an eyebrow. It wasn't her wedding. She didn't have to look beautiful, she just had to attend. Alice grabs her arm and pulls her inside the house, squeeling every now and then.

"Alice-.." Alex looks past the pixie haired Cullen and sees Bella who seems slightly taken aback that Alex had finally come back, just in time for her wedding too. "Alex." Bella breathes and a small smile appears on her face. Alex, however, turns around and walks towards the kitchen in hopes to find a bottle of anything containing liquor though she had an inkling that they had gotten rid of it after Jasper and she left.

Alex had assumed that by now she could face Bella and not feel these negative feelings. How wrong she was. They came back to the surface just as easily. And right at the time where Jasper had said that he knew she was doing better because he couldn't always feel her emotions anymore. She was finally becoming herself.

She just grabs a bag of blood and pours it in a cup before going towards the balcony, seeing the wedding venue almost ready. Emmett was carrying some tree trunks for decoration. A smile appears on her face as she sees Jasper. They had grown even closer over the past couple weeks of travelling. Living together does that to a person.

Alex hears footsteps behind her and she does her best not to run as she hears the heartbeat of Bella.

"You hate me." Bella states, with an urge behind it saying 'please do tell me otherwise'. Alex gives a mix between a scoff and a chuckle and turns around to face the human girl. "Because of what happened to Peter." Alex shakes her head with a hint of a smile but it never reaches its surface.

Apparently the human girl had noticed the hostility she had shown Edward and Bella these past few months. She didn't try to hide it, but she did her best to push the feelings away. Well, she tried.

"I do not hate you," she says towards Bella while she looks past the girl's head. "I hate myself." She gives a soft sigh. "Because every single time I see you or even find myself slightly thinking of you my mind wanders towards Pietro." She didn't want to say his fake name anymore, it felt foreign. It felt unfamiliar. She didn't want it to be even at the tip of her tongue. The others had noticed - thank goodness - and after his death they had only ever said his real name.

"I'm sorry I-.."

"Because every time I see them." Her voice filled with venom. "Because every time my heart breaks more. Because every damn single time I see them closing in on him when he was at his weakest." A single tear falls down the angry face of Alex and Bella is struck with fear, as she sees Alex shaking with hatred which is towards her.

"Alex, I-.."

"Because.." Alex' voice trembles slightly as it softens. "Because every single time I see you, I see them tearing him apart. First his left arm.." Bella sees the look on the trembling girl fade. "Then his right leg. You know, because they wanted to hurt him more. Then his other arm and leg together. They left his head for last. So we could look at each other one more time before they truly ripped him apart." More tears fall down the sunken in cheeks, that once were full with a rosy gloss. "And when you talk," the girl looks Bella straight in the eyes. "I hear his screams of terror going through my head." The girl falls down on her knees and looks at the standing girl before her.

"I wish I could take it away." Bella says as she crouches down. "I truly wish I could do-.."

"But you can't." Alex snaps at the girl. Suddenly filled with anger. "You can't." She stands up, leaving Bella crouched down but looking up at Alex. "But I don't hate you for it. I hate myself for it. I feel so much hatred towards myself for not saving him."

"I'm sor-.." Alex turns to Bella sharply.

"Don't." She simply says before taking a deep breath. "Tomorrow is your wedding day and I hear Alice coming." Alex quickly walks towards Bella after taking a deep breath once more. "Please have the most wonderful day. That's what he would have loved to see." Bella purses her lips but Alex doesn't see it as she already walks away.

And it was true. Because before it all went down, Pietro and Alex had taken it upon themselves to help Bella out of the depressed state she was in. And they had grown fond of the girl.

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