𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 - 𝐀 𝐉𝐔𝐃𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘

𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧 ♡︎

𝐎𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟐
𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐃𝐈𝐄'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕

My eyes gaze over Manu's face as he sleeps peacefully, i take in all his features appreciating his sculpted face. His long eyelashes, his big lips and sharp nose. Is it weird that i could look at him forever?

It's 2:54 AM, and i'm surprised i'm awake at this time considering how tired i was earlier. Just thinking about last night gives me butterflies.

Manu was so gentle with me, he made me feel good. Physically and emotionally, it was perfect.

My thoughts quickly turn negative as i start thinking about it more and more. We nearly had sex, I nearly had sex with someone i'm not even dating. How can i let myself go so far with him.

My mind drifts as i continue overthinking, i don't notice that Manu has woken up and is watching me closely.

"Mariposa," I hear his hoarse sleeping voice. I look at him with a small smile. "What's wrong?" He asks me, how can he sense that there's something wrong.

"N-nothing," I say so quietly i can't even hear myself. He pulls me close to him and i rest my head on his chest.

"Talk to me," He encourages.

"W-what does this mean?" I ask him.

"You know how i feel about you Birdie," God the way he says my name, "I want to be yours and i want you to be mine," i sit up.

He wants me but I can't be with him, God i've fucked this up. Why would i give my body to him if i can't give my heart to him, why is my head and heart telling me two different things.

"Mariposa..?" I feel his hand on my back and slightly jump at the cold contact. I get out of bed and rush to the bathroom.

I splash my face with water to help calm down my anxiety. The door opens and Manu walks in with a worried face, he walks over to me, grabbing my hands he height towering over mine.

"I'm sorry, we can't be together Manu," I say keeping my eyes on the floor. I can't even look at him.

"I don't understand, i know we agreeed to just be friends but we keep over stepping those boundaries," He says to me. "It's obvious how we feel about each other, anyone can see it," I go silent for a minute trying to find something to say.

"I just can't explain it okay?" I finally look up at him.

"Do you regret it?" He asks me.

"No, but.." he cuts me off.

"But it shouldn't have happened?" He responds, i can't even disagree with him because it's true. It shouldn't have happened.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, he nods and let's go of my hands.

"Yeah," He leaves the bathroom and i follow behind him.

I watch him as he picks up his clothes and starts putting them on, he puts on his shoes then walks out my room without sparing me a glance.

I fall back on my bed and sigh in defeat.

♡︎

Half term starts tomorrow and i'm fucking stuck in this place, my dad says i need to focus on my work and not on some stupid holiday for children.