I've never been so stressed in my life, this week was mock exams week and i've had at least 2 exams a day. And i'm fucking knackered. My dad has been calling me every single day to make sure i actually turn up, he has no faith in me.
I hate mocks but i do actually want to get good grades and leave school with GSCE's, so I have to deal with it.
On top of the stress this week Manu and I have barely spoken, all we have time to say to each other is 'hi' and 'good luck'. And no we didn't text or call because we genuinely don't have time and will get distracted.
♡
"I miss you darling, im proud of you for doing all your mocks. Hopefully you'll be able to come home for a weekend," My mum says over the phone.
"Me too, before Christmas at least, I feel like i haven't seen you in years," I laugh.
"It does feel like that doesn't it? Well I have to go my lunch break is over, i'll speak to you soon and Birdie please stay out of trouble," She says chuckling.
"I will mum i promise," After saying bye i hang up. God i miss her, i'd do anything to go back home. But my dad is a cunt, i doubt he'll even let me go home for christmas but we'll see how that goes.
I'm bored out of my mind, Akeely went into town with Tilly, Kayla and Winter she asked me to come but something about Winter pisses me off so i said no. I did want to see Manu but he's got extra training today because there's a huge basketball game at the end of the month.
They're playing again Oxford School for boys, literally never heard of it. No one will shut up about it, i have no interest and if it wasn't for Manu i wouldn't be going.
My phone starts flashing and i pick it up to see an unknown number calling me, this is like the 30th random number that's called me this week. People are such snakes leaking my number i've changed my number already, i really can't be asked to do it again.
I never go on my phone anymore unless it's to talk to my mum or lola, Akeely told me to post a photo she took a few days ago. I was hesitant at first but did it and it's blown up.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
12 million likes in 1 hour! Shit i feel like Kylie Jenner. I don't think i'll ever get use to the attention.
𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓 𝐃𝐀𝐘
Someone knocks my door and i get up to answer it, Henry is standing there with an unreadable expression.
"Your father is here and is waiting in the office," What the hell is he doing here, I groan and grab my phone before shutting the door behind me.
We eventually make it to the office and my dad is sitting opposite Mrs West, i don't know why he's here i haven't done anything.
"Hi darling, he says turning to me," I give him a tight lipped smile.
"What's going on?" I ask as Mrs West leaves the room.
"Birdie sit down," He looks stressed. I sit down and he sighs. "Your brothers bodies have been found,"
My heart stops.
Everything he says falls on deaf ears.
My mind flashes back to that day.
The last day i saw them both. The day they went missing, nearly 18 months ago.
"Sweetheart," My dad touches my shoulder, i look at him like he has two heads.
"What do you mean?" I ask as if i don't understand but i definitely do.
"Investigators found human remains last night, your mum and i went down to confirm," He says.
"They're really gone then?" I whisper and he pulls me for a hug but i don't hug him back. I can feel the tears but i refuse to let them fall.
"We're planning a proper funeral soon," He sits back.
"When is it?"
"It'll be in the new year, though we think it's best if you don't attend," My face scrunches up.
"Why not?"
"You won't be able to handle this darling, school will keep you distracted and keep your mind off it" Is he joking?
"How the fuck would you know what i can't handle, you weren't even there when they went missing! You was parading on tv while mum and i grieved!" I shout at him.
"Watch your mouth young lady! We're doing what's best for you, do you i understand?" I scoff.
"No you're doing what's best for you and don't say 'we' you probably guilt tripped mum like you always do because you're a manipulative bastard!" I yell at him walking towards the door.
"Birdie!" Was the last thing i heard before slamming to door in his face. He's got me fucked up if he thinks i'm not going to my own brothers funeral.
I storm way back to my room with Henry and Prince on my fucking ass.
"Oh just fuck off," I turn and shout at them, obviously they ignore me and carry on.
I enter my room, slamming the door behind me. Akeely isn't in here she actually went to speak with Leighton. I can't even think about how that's going.
My mind is doing laps and my heart is racing, i can't believe they found their bodies. I can't believe my dad isn't letting me go to the funeral. He's the fucking devil and i hate him.
I pick up my phone and text Manu, i need a distraction and a hug.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I change into something comfortable and walk to his room. Manu opens the door and immediately grabs my hand.
I sit on his bed and he comes next to me giving me a hug, he gives the perfect hugs and it makes me feel safe.
My emotions get the better of me and tears start streaming down my face, im a silent cryer so Manu doesn't notice at first until i soak his arm.
He pulls away and sees my tear stained face and red eyes, panic washes over him.
"What happened?" He starts wiping my tears, i shake my head unable to explain and he holds me till i fall asleep.
