Jealousy | Hyunjin fanfic.

22

Tomorrow is hyunjin's bday

School day was boring as always. Life was actually really boring except for the side that hyunjin exists. Felix, Hyunjin and Chan are training. Wooyoung is training too. And I'm here by myself... so I decided I maybe should visit hyunjin in the company? Yea maybe okay. I wore some sweats and converses a cap on my head and took some snacks with me. 
I took a cab and when I was there I called hyunjin to tell them to let me In.

It was my first time being there. It's huge and really luxurious. We both walked to the practice room and there was other trainees that were putting their lives out by dancing. I kinda wish it was me but sometimes not everything we wish becomes true.

Trainees were everywhere on the training room, either sitting or dancing or laying down. It was cruel. How they need to work hard to achieve their dreams and to meet people's expectations. Thinking that My friends are training this way makes me want to cry. Not letting aside the weight loss. Hyunjin lost 10 kg since he started training. Ik rlly worried of where all this training gonna lead them. Is it stable ? Is it sure that they're debuting? We don't know. All those question go to the unknown future.

Some trainees seem to be struggling with some basic moves but they were all helping each other's.
I just sat there, in the corner, watching them creating their future.

"Why don't u audition ?" Hyunjin said sitting next to me, leaning his back on the mirror.
"Really funny Hwang, really funny" I chuckled
"What's funny?"he questioned turning all his attention on me
"I cant sing nor rap hyunjin, why would I audition then ?"
"You know, it's not only about rapping and singing, you can dance really well Deiji"
"I don't know I'll see" I just shut up and continued watching them.

It was after lunch time, I had lunch with Felix Chan and Hyunjin and then I decided to go home.

As I was getting out, I heard something followed by giggles coming from the restroom

"Omg do you know hyunjin oppa?" "The one traine under unitC?" "Yes Omggg he sent me some nudes just yesterday"
"Omg no wayyyyy, show meee"

When i tell you my heart shattered ... I couldn't even feel my knees. Is that real ? IS HE FOR REAL?!

Without even knowing it, I felt my eyes wattering, and my legs couldn't stop running even tho my knees were trembling. I didn't know where I was going, first place i went to was by the river.

I texted Chan

"Chan, I'm staying at a friend's house tonight, you can give yeri the keys so she could get in for preparing the party, im gonna head out of home early tmrw, keep hyunjin safe with y'all, bye."

Just like that, I went home, packed my things, everything. Leaving a note behind me a long with the bday gift and the envelope I was supposed to get for him.

I took a cab to the airport and stayed there till next available plane, that I happens to be to Japan.  Yea, true I don't know anyone there, I don't even know what I'm actually doing, I just needed to escape from everything and everyone.

I got onto my place on the plane that ive waited for for hours . And that's it. A fresh kinda start ig. My whole mind was blurred.

It was hard for me, looking through the window, remembering every sweet thing he said to me, every gentle touch he gave me, all the warmth he made me feel. Everything. Everything is making sense now, how hes been acting different lately and how Hes being distant. It all has a reason.

What kills me more is that I've never thought he would do that. At all. Never im a million of years did I thought of it.

My eyes couldn't stop tearing to the point that I could feel them hurting.

By now it was midnight which meant Hyunjin's bday, I wish I could've spent it with him. But things seemed to go the other way.

I arrived to my destination, Tokyo , Japan . This should feel like a new start.

I took a cab and just went to one of the nearest hotels.

I spent the night scrolling through my phones gallery and balling my eyes out.

I just took a shower and laid down on the bed. But sleep couldn't bother to get to me.

It was the morning and lemme tell you about the headache I've got, it was killing me. My phone blew up all night, I guess they noticed that all my belongings are gone by now. I didn't pick up any call. I've gotten calls from wooyoung, Chan, Felix, Yeri and most of all Hyunjin.
They spammed me with dms but I didn't see any of it.

"Deiji where did u go?"
"FFS BABE WHERE R U?!"
""ITS NOT FUNNY DEIJI FKM PICK UP"

my heart stung at the sight of those dms. I couldnt imagine how it feels like to be in this situation before, but now ik.

I wasn't feeling okay at all. That's all i know.