Enraged: Rise Of The Lycan Queen

Chapter 9

Arseni's POV

I feel like I've entered into some kind of dark hole and I can't get out. I feel like there's something missing and I know what it is or rather who it's is. My life is incomplete because she's in front of me but in a way, she's far from my reach.

What was I thinking? Her safety. The voice inside my head answers my question. But why do I feel like shit right now? She's good at hiding her feelings. The day I met her, at the party, is a day I want to say was the best of my life but I can't. I hurt her.

I never thought a person could make me feel this way. Yahida couldn't make me feel this way. How does one reject their mate?

I searched hundreds of cities and back looking for my mate and she was nothing like I had imagined. She is the opposite of the females I usually find attraction to but she's so much better, so much more than I could've asked for.

From her beautiful dark hair to her ocean blue eyes and her small frame makes me want to hold her tightly and never let go. But I can't. She hates me now.

I saw it, I saw the hurt in her eyes. The disappointment when she couldn't believe the poisonous words coming out of me. The sadness when I left. I couldn't handle more and I tried to run away from her as fast as I could.

I hated myself everyday and tonight was worse. Could I have driven my mate into hating herself? Or does she have her own demons? I want to know and I want to make her feel better. If only she knew I'm doing this to protect her. She has a strong heart, I know she's not weak but her wolf is. She can't defend herself even if her wolf could. I can't show her off and I need her to stay away because she will be the main target and I'd never forgive myself if I lost her too.

"Why do you hate me?" Those words play like a song in my head that keeps stabbing my heart with a blade. At that moment I was tempted to apologize for everything but I stopped myself because I can't ruin this. I can't have her yet. She needs to hate me but I can't have her hurting like that.

When I saw her falling, I could've saved her but Eriks did it for me because he knows touching her is dangerous. The smallest of skin contact could make me forget everything. Although it was amusing when she was cussing while her stuff was on the floor. I want to get her another laptop but I don't want her to like me either. But she doesn't hate Eriks.

The fact that Nikita likes talking about her bugs me. They may not know who she is to me, but after hearing she's Ilari's sister, she caught their attention. She's not the only one who caught my friends' attention. The vampire girl seems to have Eriks' attention too. I don't get how he would be attracted to a vampire.

"What are you thinking about brother?" I hear Viktor behind me. What is he doing here?

"Why are you here?"

"Well, damy vishli. Eriks is around here and we both know what that that emo boy is doing." Ever since he heard that word he's been calling Andrei that and Andrei hates it of course.

"Are you thinking about that devochka again?" He asks.

"What are you talking about?"

"You know, Ilari's sister." How did he-
He noticed my surprise and he took a grape into his mouth.

"I'm no fool brother. That's your Eresthai isn't it?" Shit. So I've been bad at hiding it?

"So I'm not good at hiding then?" I say.

"Surprisingly, you are. We are just not stupid." Eriks and Andrei enter the room.

"So all of you noticed? I'm guessing the girls did too." I say.

"Nope, dorogoy usually focuses on the next party." Viktor says.

"And Nikita is busy trying to perfect her app and is now mad because she tried talking to her but got the cold shoulder. She likes her." Andrei says.

"And not to mention, Mila is too consumed into being your girlfriend." Eriks says.

"I guess you are all smarter than I thought." I say leaning back.

"I'm offended. So how long are you planning to keep this going?" Eriks asks.

"As long as I have to. I can't risk it. I can't have Yahida all over. This time I won't be able to handle it. She's too...pure." She is someone with a good heart, you could see it from a mile away.

"Maybe, but it's pretty visible that something bothers her. She may not speak but she despises Mila with a passion. I notice whenever you're around and she's there closeby." Andrei says.

For someone always having his nose in a book, he is observant.

"Thank you, I didn't know." I say sarcastically. "I need this to be a secret. No telling your mates." I tell them.

They all understood at least, after our little talk, Viktor and Andrei leave but Eriks doesn't.

"It won't end well." He says.

"If she's exposed." I reply quickly.

He stays silent for a moment and I feel him looking at me but I don't pay him any attention.

He pulls something out of his jacket and it was a small white journal written in black. It looks familiar.

"She dropped this today." He gives it to me.

"What's this?" I ask.

"See it for yourself."

I open the journal and to my surprise, there are beautiful sketches of different places and people.

I was shocked when I got to the end. It's sketches of me, in different angles. Is this hers?

She is a talented sketch artist. She seems like she puts in effort in her detailing or she might not even have to put much effort because she is good. I noticed that she also sketched a background. I wouldn't notice much of it if it hadn't been coloured. The colours give the picture more life and it makes it have more feeling.

Two pictures took my attention, one where I'm sitting alone looking up at the moonlight that is the only light that shines in the Forrest around me. I hadn't noticed that there were eyes in the shadows and pointy ears that represent that of a wolf. The eyes are a glowing yellow and they hold a feeling of anger. Anger towards the person that sits alone looking like they have no care in the world. The feeling I get from this sketch is pretty obvious. She must be the wolf angry at me.

The other sketch is my face, it's very detailed as if the artist was taking their time looking at each and every detail of the person. This one has no colours but an expression. An expression of despite, I noticed this one wasn't very recent which could only mean she drew it the day we met. The hurtful way I looked at her painted in her mind, she had to put it in her book. I hate what I had done to her. I hate the way I look in this sketch. I hate hurting her!

I get mad at what I'm witnessing, I decide to go further back until I saw another interesting drawing. This one was coloured too. It's a girl, she's wearing an icy dress that reaches the floor. In fact it looks like she is part of the floor, her legs don't show. She has tiny snowflakes coming out of her hands covering the whole place with snow, her hair is the colour of the snow. The trees are also filled with snow. She looks up ahead with sadness in her eyes. I move my eyes to see where she was looking, there is a city. A city filled with people they look like they are dancing of joy. It feels as though she wants to join but she can't, she's powerful but she's lonely. This picture says a million words that even I can't read.

This sketchbook holds a lot of stories. I'm tempted to give it to her myself or maybe just tell Eriks to. I'm going to hold on to it a little longer.

It has her sweet, aquatic scent if there is such a thing. You could also catch the peppermint which describes her aura of a pure heart.

I want my mate so bad it's killing me. I'd even give up the throne to make her happy.

~
Hey lovies! Hope you liked the new chapter.

What do you think about Arseni?

Find out on the next chapter. Don't forget to vote. Xoxo!