Let It Chase Me (1)

The Pacific

Cold water splashing on my hands.

Wading in the water.

Legs wrapped on the sides of my board.

The Pacific ocean has always been a place of comfort. I loved to be in the water any way I could. It got so much better when he taught me how to surf. Surfing with him made me feel like we were the only people in the world. That we were connected in a way I wasn't with others.

"You know you hold the ocean in your eyes, right?" I said towards him.

"What does that even mean, Ems?" he giggled at me.

I smiled back at him, "nothing, forget about it Eds. Oh look! That one looks pretty good!" I exclaimed pointing to a wave beginning to form.

"Let's get it then!" he said back at me, already starting to paddle his way to the wave.

I soon followed him, but I didn't get too close. The waves weren't great today and I wanted him to be able to catch a good one. I watched as his arms pushed on the board, lifting himself up to stand. His arm muscles bulged as he placed all his weight on them. I tried to hide my staring but I couldn't help it. Why did he insist on surfing without a shirt on? The way his smile lights his face as he catches the wave. The way his arms must feel wrapped around my body. The way my head would feel laying on his chest. The way his lips would feel on mine. The tingly feeling I get each time he looks me in my eyes...

"Did you see that one?!" Eddie yelled at me, pulling me out of my daydream.

"That was awesome, Eds!" I yelled back, trying to cover my embarrassment. One of these days he was going to catch me staring, if he hasn't already.

I paddled my way to shallow water and hopped off my board. I carried it up onto the sand and set it next to our cooler and towels. "I don't know we're going to catch much else today" I said in his direction as I began drying myself off.

"Yeah, you're probably right. Want to head back?" he asked me as he walked up to the same spot I was in.

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Let's take advantage of it, you don't have many of those, Edward" I teased at him. He laughed in my direction and grabbed both of our boards. "Alright, Emelia. I'm going to take these up to the truck" he told me before walking away.

I looked out into the ocean. The sun on the horizon looked incredible. I thought about Eddie surfing again. The way he glances at me while we're looking for waves gives me butterflies. I know he just does that to make sure I wasn't taken under or anything, but part of me really hoped it was more than that. I wanted to be more than just roommates with him. But I didn't know where to start.

While looking out, I decided I wanted to do something about this feeling. It wasn't just nothing. I had to tell him.

I glanced back and he was walking towards me. He smiled at me when he caught my eyes. I smiled back shyly. I was going to do this but I didn't know how. I just have to do it. Give in to temptation. You've got this, Ems. Do it.

"Did you get lost on the way to the truck?" I joked at him, trying to contain my nervousness.

He chuckled at me. "Sorry I took so long back there. I saw a payphone and gave Beck a call. We've been out here for a while and I wanted to let her know we were about to head back to the apartment." he explained to me.

Rebecca. Fuck. How could I forget about her? They've been dating for forever. She practically lived with us at this point. I completely forgot. Today was so perfect that I forgot he loves someone. I forgot I'm just a roommate.

Rebecca.

Fuck.