Unlovable

Chapter 20

ELLIES POV:

I just go through my day with Jackson on my mind and wondering what I did to make him mad.

I go to the coffee shop and sit down to read.

I get about halfway into my chapter when I see Jackson walk in with another girl.

She has her arm entangled in his. They haven't noticed me, so I sit and watch a bit.

She's playing with his hair and he's smiling at her. Maybe she's the reason he didn't want me over at his apartment. What if they're together?

Jackson looks over and I grab my things and leave as we make eye contact.

JACKSON POV:

"There's you're girlfriend" says Samantha.

"She not my girlfriend"

"Good" she says wrapping her arms around my stomach.

I remove her arms from my stomach and step away from her.

"I don't know why you're fighting us Jackson. I know you like me" Samantha says.

"I like fucking you. That's it"

"You're a dick" she says and flips me off.

"You're just figuring that out?" I ask.

"Fuck you. I'm leaving" she says and walks out of the coffee shop.

Whatever. There's plenty of other women who want me. Don't have to just settle for one.

I sit in the same spot Ellie was sitting in previously when I see she left a notebook here by accident.

"Fuck" I think to myself.

I really don't want to return this. How am I supposed to talk to her after how I treated her?

I'll just send her a text.

"Hey, you left a notebook at the coffee shop" I text her.

My phone lights up and she responds

"Ok just give it back to me in the cafeteria on campus. I'm in class"

"Ok" is all I send.

I search through the notebook a bit and see an entry on love and hate.

She was abused by an ex. I yelled at her. Fuck.

I make my way to campus and finish my literature class and head to the cafeteria.

I look around for her and see her sitting alone.

"Here's your book" I say handing it back to her.

"Thanks" is all she says.

I debate telling her that I read her book, but I didn't want her to get upset with me, so I decide against it.

We have an awkward silence for what feels like hours but it's only seconds.

She stuffs all of her things in her bag and walks past me without even a look and leaves.

I want this girl, but I don't know how to be in a relationship. I've never had to do this and I'm a massive fuck up. I know I'll hurt her, but I want to make her mine.

ELLIES POV:

I head home to get a shower.

"Hey, are you excited for tomorrow" my mom says as soon as I walk in the house.

"Not really" I say chuckling.

"It's you're birthday. You have to be excited. You're going to be 19"

"It just means I'm getting older" I say.

"Well, we're going to have a nice dinner tomorrow for you"

"Ok that's fine. I'm going to take a shower. Love you"

She just gives me a smile and I make my way to my bedroom.

I undress and hop in the shower.

After my shower, I lay in bed and study a little bit and then my phone lights up.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" Jackson asks.

"I'm busy" I text back.

"With what?"

"None of your business" I send.

"I'm sorry. I just want to see you"

"Well, I'll be busy" I send.

"All night?"

"No but I'm staying home tomorrow after my dinner" I text.

"What dinner?"

"My birthday dinner"

My phone lights up. Jackson's calling me.

"Hello" I say confused.

"You didn't tell me tomorrow is you're birthday"

"I didn't need to tell you" I say.

"No but it would've been nice to know. Can I come to your dinner?"

"My parents will be there" I say.

"And?" He asks.

"And we're not together so why do you want to be there? You yelled at me" I say.

"I know And I'm sorry for that"

"I got to go" I say.

"No wait... I want to see you"

I stay silent trying to find my voice. Why would he treat me like that and then want to see me? This boy is bipolar as hell.