Dangerous Souls

Remains

Chapter 2-Change

November Day 1, 2:03 A.M.

"No! John!" Tears streamed her face as she sat up. Her breaths came in quick huffs as her body shook.

Tears hit her shaking hands as she looked down at them. They had made their way to her face as sobs rocked her small frame. She could still see her blonde friend's dazed face as the knife made its way toward him.

The same knife that had been in her hand.

Gritting her teeth, Mai threw her fist sideways into the wall next to her. The shock reverberated up into her arm and she knew she would have another bruise later. "Damn it!" she hissed as her hand throbbed. When had she begun cursing like a truck driver?

She leaned against the wall, wiping away her drying tears. For the first time in a very long time she noticed just how tiny her hands were. She had always been a small girl, but she never remembered her hands being so thin, her knuckles sticking out despite her hands not being clenched. Her wrists had become so tiny, when did she lose this weight?

She got up and padded over to her bathroom. She splashed water on her face a few times and let the water drip off her for a moment. She used the small towel nearby to dry her face, when she noticed her hair. It had been nearly six months since she last cut it. No longer was it in that pixie bob anymore, now it was closer to her shoulders, sort of like Masako's hairstyle. However, because of the style she had been cutting it at her hair had formed layers that, despite her bedhead-ness, were framing her face. Why did it take until just now for her to notice these changes?

She looked back into her reflection. Dark circles were caked under her eyes, her cheeks were thinner and hollowing out a little, she even had several zits on her forehead and chin. She tied her hair back and washed her face quickly, realizing how long it had been since she really was trying to clear up any acne. Drying her face, she looked back and saw her skin, such a pale color. Her lips had been nibbled and chewed to the point of being a raw slab of skin on her face. Her nails had been chewed to the nub as well. Why had no one pointed these things out to her?

Are you okay? The question her friends had been asking her for months. Maybe they were trying to give her a hint this whole time? It only took a couple cases and a session with a therapist-like guy for her to figure it out.

And what about these nightmares? Sure, over the past year she had gotten used to her visions and dreams becoming terrifying especially during a case, but this one had nothing to do with her current case, right? And she had been waking up in the middle of the night due to similar dreams for nearly two months. There was something beyond visions in these nightmares.

She had felt so confident earlier after speaking with Hozumi, why does she feel so lousy now? Shouldn't things be a little better now?

It's going to take more than one session for your nightmares to go away. Mai begrudgingly remembered her new friend saying. She had been hoping that he was wrong. Maybe that was wishful thinking; maybe it was her getting a big head that things were going to get better. At the very least she could finally see the mess she had become, aside from the nightmares.

"Well, Mai," she said to her reflection. "They say the first step is admitting something is wrong." She untied her hair and ran her fingers through it, smoothing it out. "Now, the question is, are you going to do something about it?"

And just like that, the little spark on her candle became a tiny flame. A very tiny flame. But a flame nonetheless.

***

November Day 1, 11:15 A.M.

Mai had half-fibbed the day before when she told her boss about her final appointment with her doctor. It was actually today.