Soukoku : I Hate You But I Love You

Chapter 38 : Atonement

On the way home Chuuya was walking on his own, he refused the ride with his sister.

While Tachihara, who also offered a ride with Gin and Ryuunosuke, even though its not his car.

The siblings agreed, while Chuuya insisted to refuse as he wanted to go somewhere before going home.

Walking on the bridge, lights of the city buildings and the stars reflect and illuminates the place.

'it is more beautiful than the parade'

He thought.
Suddenly footsteps was heard, Dazai was following him from behind.

Chuuya knew about it but still ignored him, he is not the reason why he came here after all.

Chuuya and Dazai never spoke until Dazai notices where their destination is.

"This place -"

Dazai almost lost sight of Chuuya and immediately followed him after stoping and looking around.

Dazai felt nostalgia in each step, in every corner he sees. It wasn't like it used to be, but the memories still lingers.

Chuuya stopped his tracks in a huge stone, with many names engraved.

'this was the stone Elise sent a picture of'

Dazai remembered and looked at it, One by one he read it silently and found names that are familiar to him as he skimm into the list of names.

He looked at Chuuya who is carving another name in the huge stone.

"Eien Moore, Jane..."

Chuuya recited the new names one by one as he carved it on the stone. Chuuya felt guilty about the death of the people in the Arahabaki incident.

Dazai didn't know about this and blamed Chuuya about the uncontrollable entity inside him.

Mori knew about it and let Leon under Chuuya to find all the people's information involved in the incident.

"You did this?"

Dazai said pointing at the huge rock.

"..."

"Wrote all the names here?

Chuuya shook his head answeing the question of the tall brunette.

"Not all, theres still people's names missing"

"Chuuya-"

Dazai wanted to tell Chuuya that it wasn't his fault but before he could do so, Chuuya stopped him from talking.

"I know what you're thinking and going to say, but I'm doing this for myself, because I couldn't help but blame myself too."

Chuuya look away from Dazai.

'Every night when I sleep I could hear screams, I cant even sleep properly without taking sleeping pills, and afraid that when I woke up, Arahabaki will go berserk again and kill all of you guys. I wanted to live far away from the town, but Ane-san insisted that I should live near her.'

Chuuya wanted to say it but kept it inside as he look back at the brunette and touched the stone.

"This stone is the only way I could atone what I have done"

Chuuya walk first leaving Dazai. The brunette went to look what names Chuuya added in the stone and saw his friends name in it along with four more new names.

"Rem Cascade"

He whispered to himself.

Its been a long and cold night for the both of them, sadness engulfs them like a cold fire.

But melts after the sun rises again.