Forty-One

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"You are scared to death?" Sara asked, as Olivia turned to look at her.

"Y-yeah... all I can think about is losing the babies. It would be so much harder this time around, since Elliot would actually care if I lost the babies. Brad didn't even bat an eye when I miscarried the other two." Olivia whispered, since she didn't want her siblings to hear about everything happening.

"You will not lose the babies, Liv. Try to make it past that fear so you can enjoy your pregnancy." Sara smiled softly.

"Okay, so if I stay pregnant... then what about everything else? My house is super small and I can't fit four kids and two adults in there." Olivia breathed.

"Honey, does Elliot-"

"I don't want him to know about this all. He's doing great now, and I'm worried that if he finds out about what's bothering me, then he won't be doing good anymore."

"Olivia, I don't know what else to say." Sara sighed softly. She never had to deal with something like this, and it made her miss her sister more. Serena would know exactly what to say to Olivia.

"Don't worry about it, Aunt Sara. I'll just figure this out on my own... hopefully soon too, since chances are I won't make it to my due date."

///

Olivia went home and pretended like nothing was bothering her. When she went to bed that night, she could even close her eyes. Her head was fogged with so many different things that it made it impossible to fall asleep. Eventually, she slipped out of bed and went into the kitchen to look at listings for houses that had more space, but were still in her price range. Yet not a lot of places could fit six people on a lab tech's salary.

"Feeling sick again?" Elliot yawned as he walked into the kitchen. He didn't even notice that Olivia had left her side of the bed until he rolled over and couldn't pull her closer.

"Not really... just couldn't sleep." Olivia replied hesitantly as she minimized a tab that showed house listings.

"Do you want some tea? I could throw the teapot on and we can drink tea in under fifteen minutes." Elliot smiled before kissing the back of Olivia's head.

"El, go back to sleep. I'm fine."

"I didn't ask if you were fine, Liv. What's happening?" Elliot frowned deeply. 

"Nothing. Please, go back to sleep." Olivia snapped slightly.

"I'm not going to walk away from you right now. Tell me what the hell is wrong so I can help!" Elliot exclaimed, yet he regretted it almost instantly.

Olivia broke down and sobbed. Elliot stepped forward and pulled his wife into his arms as he tried to figure out what was exactly happening.

"I'm so scared!" Olivia finally sobbed.

"Scared? Olivia, what is happening, baby?"

"What if Dr. Clarke is lying and I'm going to lose the babies? Or what if we can't afford a bigger place to live? Elliot, we may need to figure out how to fit four kids and us into this small two-bedroom house! Let alone hospital bills, daycare, cribs, and diapers! That is a lot of pressure on me!" Olivia whimpered.

"Honey, you aren't in this alone. I am here to help you through everything." Elliot smiled as he leaned down and pecked Olivia's temple.

"Elliot, I need you to really help. Please."

"I will!" Elliot exclaimed as he held Olivia away from his body.

"I-"

"Tell me what you need me to do, and I'll do it. I won't complain or attempt to make your life harder." Elliot chuckled softly as he tried to ease the tension that had settled around them.

"We need money, and a lot. Could you... nevermind." Olivia whispered. She climbed off her stool and shut down her laptop. Elliot followed her to their bedroom and frowned when he saw her climbing into bed.

"Do you want me to get a job?" Elliot asked, hesitantly.

"I can't afford to support us all. Not having to pay for daycare is nice, but even if we are saving money on that, we aren't bringing anything additional in." Olivia frowned.

"Okay, so I'll get a job. I'll see if the NYPD will take me back. If not, I'll figure something else out."

"Do you feel safe around guns anymore? You won't be tempted to use your weapon in a bad way?" Olivia asked, and Elliot shook his head.

"I won't do anything bad, especially when I know working again is going to help you out. I'll do anything for you."

///

Elliot was determined to make thing better for his wife, so he went straight to his old precinct the next morning. There wasn't a lot happening, so the CO that over saw Elliot when he was working there was free to speak to him.

"So you wanted to talk, Elliot?" Sergeant Louis asked as she sat down across from Elliot.

"Yes, ma'am. I was wondering if it was possible for me to get my job back?" Elliot asked nervously. His hands were shaking, but nearly as much as his voice.

"Well, what brought this up? When you... when what happened took place, they informed us that you wouldn't be coming back. Can you explain why you'd like to come back?"

"My wife is pregnant with twins, and we can't afford to support our kids with only one income. Olivia works in an NYPD lab, and even if that is good money, it isn't good enough. So I need my job back."

"Could you pass a physical and mental exam? Like, we won't get a reading back that states you are going to eat your gun?" She sighed. 

"I have a lot to live for. My wife, daughters, and the twins mean the world to me. I won't abandon them again... so can I-"

"Let me talk to my superiors, Stabler. I can't promise you anything, but things are changing around here. As long as your bipolar disorder is under control and you do check-ins with a therapist... this may work. Don't get your hopes up, but don't give up yet."


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