Poems That I Form

weak

Weak.
I'm weak.

My stomach can't process anything.
My head feels dizzy.
I get more bruises from nothing.
I see black spots when I get up.
I walk with wheezes filling the air.
No matter how many hours I sleep,
And they're quite few,
I'm always exhausted.

I'm weak.

I want to throw up everyday,
The urge making me shake almost violently.
I couldn't walk today or get out of my bed,
Not even to eat,
Which I can't do anyways.
I'm back in the anorexic spiral.
I can't get out this time.

I'm weak.

I have to rely on my younger brother,
My younger brother who already worried so much,
To prop me up to walk.
He has to carry the bags,
The shopping basket,
The heavy water bottle,
The sibling,
And I hate it.
He should be worried if his volleyball team will make it to championship.
Not if his sibling can get up in the morning or not.

I'm weak.

I want to be back to normal,
Normal being fully functioning.
I went to a punk show with my dad and I only lasted an hour,
Wheezing when we got back to the car.
He looked at me so sadly I wanted to die.
It takes double the amount of time to get up the stairs at work.
I can't go out with my friends to roller skate,
To eat,
To swim,
To do anything.

I'm weak.

And I'm really tired of being weak.