Poems That I Form

youre a liability

Am I really worth anything at this point?
I try and try and try
At love or friendship.
But know one even goes towards me when I need it.
I just follow along like a puppy,
With no clear indication that I'm getting fucked over.
That they're going to leave me out to dry.
That they only come near me if they have problems

But what if I have problems?
I cry out for help,
I ask someone,
Anyone,
Please, I want help.
Just once, someone listen.
But they never do.
No one ever listens, do they?
Because when I come to anyone with my problems,
I become a liability to them.
I'm nothing more than a problem for them.
I'm waiting for them to start complaining to me about me,
Just changing my name so that I may never know.

I guess I deserve it.
I mean,
It's not like I haven't tried to kill myself over their problems,
Or my own,
Or having the weight of the world on my shoulders,
In my head,
Making my limbs heavy and my eyes tired.
I've broken down more times this school year
Than any times in my life.
I see myself as weak if one little tear is on my cheek.
Because I have to be strong,
If I'm not strong, what am I?
I am sarcasm and humor and smiles rolled into one,
But god,
When I get home,
I'm a drowning person,
Drowning in salty, disgusting tears
That make my face red
And my sobs into hiccups.

Whatever.
They just want me to listen.
So I will.
I'll listen and soon I'll just be emotionless.
For them.
I won't break down.
For them.
But when is someone going to think;
Maybe,
For once,
We should be there for her?