Poems That I Form

look elsewhere

I must stop pining,
You know?
The friendships I wish that I kept,
The boy that only wanted me for sex,
The girl who drags me on with a little compliment.
I know it's all poison,
Always has,
Always will be.
Because those friends almost had my blood on their hands,
I almost lost my virginity to a boy who didn't love me,
And I almost kissed a girl who didn't and will never want me.

It hurts.
A lot,
Not to be wanted.
Because I love her so much, I felt it when I first met her,
And then finding out she was gay,
Ha!
My poor little heart just stuck with her.
She is so utterly beautiful,
Yet denies it.
She's so intelligent,
But tries to throw people off with wild talks about anything and everything.
She's so kind but calls herself a bitch.
But I know she's not.
And I also know she's not for me.

I sound like one of those proclaimed
"Nice guys" that everyone hates.
She should be liking me,
I did everything I could to have her,
I love her.
But I don't tell anyone,
I didn't tell
Until I broke down after our play and told her I was so in love with her,
That it hurt and that I don't think I could be friends with her because she flirts with me and makes me feel
Loved.
I haven't felt loved like that ever.
But then she clung to be and started sobbing,
She said she couldn't keep going to school,
Couldn't do drama,
Couldn't continue,
If we weren't friends.

So I'm here,
Alone,
Wishing for her company.
Just wanting her to hold me and give me a kiss
On the back of the neck and pet my hair.
But it's not going to happen.
It's never going to happen.

It's time for me to look elsewhere.