In Between Maybes

Chapter 25

As the plane touched down, I felt my heart thump. I knew exactly what I have to do here, but I am still scared stiff. Tama bang desisyon ang pag-uwi ko rito?

"Ayoko sa bahay, " Agap ko kay Kuya bago pa man siya magsimulang magmaneho. 

Tahimik lang siyang tumango, "May condo ako. You can stay there. "

"Ikaw?"

"I'll stay at home. "

"Ayos ka lang ba do'n? Pwede naman tayo sa condo, Kuya. "

"Of course. I'll be okay, Av. Bahay natin 'yon.  "

That was our house. It was my home. But when that night happened, I couldn't bring myself to even just look at it. That house exudes horror. It fosters so much pain. I can't bear the thought of coming home to it.

Hindi na ako sumagot at tahimik na lang na tinignan ang paligid.

I've been gone for almost five years, yet nothing seems to have changed. I remember the night I left, it was all so sudden. I didn't even have the chance to tell my best friend that I was leaving. I remember her messaging me over the first years of my absence, making sure to inform me of what was going on here, but I did not respond to any of it. Until one day I stopped getting one. Maybe she got tired too, which to me, was fine. I wanted to detach from anyone who could remind me of the pain that had happened here. That was the only way I could get through those terrible years. That was something I had to do in order to survive.

"Have you decided which university you'll study at?"

Tumango ako.

"You're gonna take the LSAT, right?"

"Yup. I only have two weeks to study. "

"Is that enough for you?"

"Basta hindi ka manggugulo. "

"Kailan kita ginulo sa pag-aaral mo, Av?"

"Finals ko nga pinapagalitan mo 'ko, and can you please call me Kal, instead?" Ismid ko.

"Bakit?"

"I don't like Av. "

"That's your name. "

"Yeah, and I don't like it. "

Pumasok kami sa parking lot ng isang mataas na building. I'm not sure where exactly we are right now, but along QC yata this place. 

"I texted you the passcode. Do you have cards with you?"

Umiling ako, "Cash lang. "

"Here, " Sabi niya at inabot sa'kin ang isang card galing sa wallet niya, "You can use mine for the mean time. Aayusin ko ang cards mo bukas. "

"I have money. "

"Just take it. For emergency purposes, Av. "

"I have enough money. And I said call me Kal. "

"Kung hindi mo kailangan, edi 'wag mong gamitin. Basta itabi mo lang. "

Umirap ako at kinuha 'yon, "Fine. " 

"Mag-aasikaso ka na ba ng requirements mo ngayong araw?"

"Tomorrow na lang. I'll rest today. I'm tired. "

"Alright. Punta ko rito bukas ng umaga. Ipagdadrive kita. "

"Bakit mo 'ko ipagdadrive? Wala ka bang trabaho?"

"I'm on leave. Just let me, okay? Bakit ba kontra ka palagi?"

"Ayokong makaistorbo, bakit?"

"Kapatid kita. Paanong makakaistorbo ka?"