The happiness he deserved (a Wangxian fix-it sorta story)

Chapter 18: "Monster...?"

This chapter may include:

Thoughts and memories

Actions

Reflection

Pain

Other

Chapter 18

Author's POV

A/N: This chapter will be taking references from songs such as "c'mon" by p!atd, "secret garden" by frisk, "wait for it" by hamilton, my father told me, and "non-stop" by hamilton, "the nights" by imagine dragons and heavy references from the video posted above! get ready for some angst bc I was having a crappy week also I'm shamelessly stealing lines from kny mugen train bc that movie killed me:)

Wei Wuxian stood there inside his cave as he awaited his death, the harsh wind blowing his hair and bringing the suffering voices of the spirits with them. It hurt, it was painful to hear them but he figures that this is what he deserves.

There is a horrified silence in the room as they process the fact that Wei Wuxian can hear the voices of all spirits, all the time. Oh god is that why he would always look so pained? because he couldn't do anything about the howling and mourning? how blind had they been to his suffering?

To distract himself from the voices he couldn't help but think of his childhood, his memories, his parents. Would they be proud of him? would they be ashamed of who he had become? would they regret bringing him into this world? As he pondered these questions he remembered something his mother had told him, something he had told his son as well. 

"My mother was a genius,"

"genius?"

 "My father commanded respect."

"respect?" 

"when they died they left no instructions, just a legacy to protect."

Little A-Ying was sitting by his mother's futon, she had gotten ill recently and was very weak, it hurt him to see his strong and powerful mother like that, she would be laughing right now, holding him in the air and playing with him. Not laying in a bed full of pain and suffering.

His mother saw him sitting and gently smiled at him, it was a smile filled with love and care, but there was also sorrow in those eyes. She spoke, her voice soft and kind 

"Death doesn't discriminate, between the sinners and the saints. It takes, and it takes, but we keep living it anyway, we rise and we fall and break and we make our mistakes." 

He looked at his son we a soft smile as he spoke the next words 

"And if there's a reason I'm still alive when everyone who loves me has died. Then I'm willing to wait for it."

The entire room was affected by the turn of events, the Jiang couple and Lan Qiren even more so as they knew Wei Wuxian's parents. Cangse had indeed spoken such wise and true words, they had blamed Wei Wuxian for anything that had happened when it wasn't even in his control. He was trying to protect them and this is what they repaid him with.

There was also the pain of realizing that he felt that his parents were the only ones that loved him. The ache to go and tell him and comfort him, to say his parents would be proud, that they failed him. To beg for forgiveness was strong but they held back, they had no right to even be near him.

He had taught A-Yuan so well indeed, he was just a child when he lost his parents and was forced to face the harsh realities of this world and yet he still grew up to be the best. They had killed the light inside him, they had failed him and his parents.