The happiness he deserved (a Wangxian fix-it sorta story)

Chapter 28: Korea

This chapter may include:

Thoughts and memories

Actions

Reflection

Pain

Other

Chapter 28

Author's POV

After the previous confrontation in Yilling and getting coddled by his family, Wei Wuxian was certainly in high spirits. Granted the reunion brought back specific unpleasant memories and nightmares, though he was happy they were doing well. 

There was quite some tension between the two groups but Wei Wuxian doubts they will ever meet each other again, after all, they banished him didn't they? A bitter feeling rose in Wei Wuxian's chest but he quickly pushed it down. Seeing Lan- Hanguang-Jun again had quite a few feelings churn their heads around the corner. 

There was the all-too-familiar feeling of betrayal, pain sadness, confusion, and another feeling he would rather not address.

You would think that coming face to face with the people who have hurt him the most would fire up feelings of hate, anger, and resentment. 

But Wei Wuxian found himself feeling none of that. You see, after going through so much pain and suffering in his lifetime he learned many lessons. One of them is that resentment brings no good, resentment won't turn back time and take away all the pain and suffering, nor will it benefit either party. It will only bring more harm, constantly bringing painful memories to the surface and dragging one into an inescapable abyss.

Wei Wuxian did not wish to suffer anymore, holding resentment will only destroy him further. Of course, nobody knew the harms of resentment better than the Yilling Patriarch himself. He dealt with corpses and spirits of those who hated, of those who were angry, he felt firsthand how much it hurt, He wished to leave that all in the past. 

This did not mean he forgave, it meant that he simply did not want the past to cloud his mind. He wanted to live a life of freedom, a life of joy, a life of simplicity.

A life with no regrets.

His mind went back to those he had gotten killed, to those who had died because of him 'it was never his fault, they had wanted someone to blame and they chose him.' His body bore scars as proof of the sacrifices he made to bring them back.  To return to them the lives they lost so they can live the future they deserve '?'

Are they happy? are shijie and Jin Zixuan finally getting the happy ending they deserve? is Jin Ling finally getting the love of his parents? Are the Jiangs finally a happy family without him to ruin it all? Is Huisang finally getting to spend quality time with his older brother? Did Uncle Xingchen and Uncle Song Lan finally get married? Did Hanguang-Jun finally find someone good for him? Some who isn't his greatest mistake? 

Questions burn his mind but the answers terrify him sometimes. 

Lost in thought he doesn't notice A-Fayre and Lian-ge walking into his room "C'mon A-Ying!! we have to leave for Korea soon. Time to say the goodbyes or else someone might blow up the heavens." Fayre Yang laughed in a joking manner as Xie Lian pulled up Wei Wuxian from the floor where he was sitting.

'Ah that's right, we are leaving for Korea to continue our trip. I should go meet up with everyone.' Wei Wuxian thought to himself as he followed his siblings to the front where the others were waiting. 

They had packed up everything the night before so there was nothing to worry about in the morning, actually his siblings had forced Wei Wuxian to sit down and relax because "You need to have a break and get nice and comfy! we will pack up everything you just shush and get spoiled." 

Wei Wuxian felt a genuine smile of joy pull on his lips, his eyes lit up like the stars in the night sky and he ran towards the open arms of his geges, these people....they were his family, his home. 

At that very moment, he could not describe the feelings of gratefulness and love that filled him, he was so happy that he had a shoulder to lean on, people he trusted, people who would always catch him when he would fall, people who would love him unconditionally without asking for anything in return.

He had called down many times before, but it still hurt. He couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like had someone been there to catch him, would it feel freeing? would it still hurt? he did not need to wonder any longer for there was his large family standing there with open arms, ready to always catch him without any hesitation.

The goodbyes took another hour due to all the sappiness, during which Wei Wuxian received a bundle of hugs, head pats, kisses, and "Don't get into trouble, be careful, call us if you need anything!!!" 

With all of that finally out of the way, Fayre Yang and Wei Wuxian were off to Korea.

The two had got settled in a nice cozy apartment in Seoul and decided to rest for the first day.

Wei Wuxian stood on the balcony appreciating the beautiful view of the night-lit city when he felt the presence of Fayre beside him. He found himself leaning into her warmth and she responded by pulling him into a comfortable embrace. 

The two sat there in comfortable silence for a while, when Fayre decided to break the silence, "You are still thinking about that day aren't you?" Wei Wuxian looks at her surprised.

"Oh come on don't give me that look! I've known you since we were babied, reading you is like an open book to me love." Wei Wuxian softly smiled at that, it was true. Fayre knew him the best after all, she had been with him in his darkest moments and whacked sense into him along with Qing-ge and he did stupid things. 

"Y'know, you have every right to be angry, they did unspeakable things to you, damaged you in a way that could never be reversed, destroyed your trust, greedily ate up your kindness, and then threw it back to your face. You can hold as much resentment as you want and no one will blame you, instead they will support you." Fayre told him gently as she held his hand.

Wei Wuxian looked off into the distance and a melancholic smile bloomed across his face, "I do not feel resentment against them, perhaps it is because I have felt what resentment does to someone, perhaps it is because I want to leave in the past, perhaps it is because I wish to live peacefully. Does that make me a coward A-Fayre?" He finally gazed at her, his eyes watering.

Fayre felt her own heart shatter at his gaze but she kept strong, she held his hand tighter and began "No, it doesn't. Resentment will not bring back the dignity you lost, nor will it turn back time and undo the damage, it won't take away and heal the scars of words and whips, it will not give you back the piece of yourself you lost, the piece of you that was brutally murdered."

She took a deep breath and continued "It does not make you a coward, quite the opposite actually. It shows how brave you are for being able to walk away from...such a..a tragedy. How you reached the top of the mountain after falling down countless times. It shows your strength in being able to not fall into the abyss of hate and anger. Many choose to take the hand of resentment, some justified, and some not. Very few choose to simply walk away and leave it all behind."

She gently caresses his face and smiles at him, "A-Ying you are the strongest person I know, you went through so much, and still you manage to smile with joy every day, you bounce back from every misfortune you have suffered, you keep a pure heart throughout the times you have been wronged. Never think any less of yourself."

She kisses him on his forehead and then finishes with a "Come on, I know you are hungry and tired, we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow, I will order us some food and then we will sleep. Tomorrow is a brand new day hmm?" 

She takes his hand and leads him inside their temporary home, the two share a simple comforting meal of Tteobokki and Bibimbap. After they retire for the night, Fayre embraces Wuxian as they sleep knowing that he will most likely have nightmares tonight, even then she prays that he has a soothing peaceful sleep because the gods know how much he needs it.

Even then, if something does happen she will always be there to pick up the pieces and put him back together. He has suffered alone long enough, this time, he won't be alone when he breaks. This time he will have people who love him the most by his side. 

Because sometimes even the strongest of people break and need someone by their side.