Artemis (Gxg) (Intersex)

Art 20

ARTEMIS 20

ARTEMIS

Kakatapos lang naming mag usap ni mommy and now, naglalakad ako papunta sa room ng mag ina ko. Hindi natuloy ang pamamasyal namin kanina dahil bukod sa umulan, halos hindi rin lumabas si Nathalia sa room.

And now it's 12 midnight. They're probably sleeping already. Matagal kasi ang naging kwentuhan namin ni mommy. She asked me about how it happened, and how it ended up like this. I told her everything including Nathalia's involvement with Lake before.

When my family thought that Lake has been cheated by a woman named Nathalia, na nagpabuntis sa ibang lalake, ang hindi nila alam, ako talaga ang nakauna sa kanya. Na hindi na ako nag sabi kasi ayokong makasira ng relasyon. But then, I got her pregnant with my child, at siguro, she tried to save Lake and the child kaya nya ginamit si Arthur but things got messed up. Sinalo nya lahat ng problema at hirap. Sinalo nya lahat ng paninisi naming lahat, lalo na ako.

And I didn't realized I was the one who started it all. I told my mom that Lake and I already talked and she forgave me already. As much as my mom is so happy to have  Cassidy and Nathalia in our family, nalulungkot sya sa dinanas ng mag ina na wala kaming kaalam alam, nag hihirap pala.

Somehow, she cried and felt guilty too. She said Nathalia and Cassy didn't deserve to experience such sufferings. Had we known that earlier, hinding hindi kami papayag na maghirap mag isa ang mag ina. My mom told me she knew where Nathalia is coming from. The pain, the hurt, the disappointment and the trust long gone will never be forgotten that easily kahit anong material na bagay pa ang ibigay ko.

What my family needs now is me.

My protection, my strength, my care, and my love for them. Because they don't need anything else now, they just need me, kahit na ni-rereject nila ako sa ngayon. My mom said it's because they are hurt too much. Not just by me, but by the consequences of all my actions that made them suffer.

Naaawa ang mommy ko sa kanilang dalawa. Lalo nung kinuwento ko lahat lahat ng nangyari pati tungkol sa pag pasok ni Nathalia na may pasa sa mukha. Sa pag hiram ni Nathalia ng pera but instead of helping her, I asked sex in return. Naiyak si mommy sa kwento ko, montik pa akong masampal. I confessed, that her child was an asshole. I didn't know I was hurting my very own family.

Now, I should have known better. I want to treat them the best that I can.

Nasa tapat na ako ng pinto ng kanilang kwarto. Sinubukan ko itong buksan pero nakalock ito. Kung gugustuhin ko, may extra susi kami ng lahat ng rooms dito. But I decided to let them have their own space for now at bumaba nalang ako papunta sa dining area kung saan mayroong mini bar.

Doon sa center island, pumwesto ako dala ang isang bote ng wine at baso. Hindi ko na binuksan ang mga ilaw dahil mas okay mag isip pag madilim ang paligid. And I started sipping my wine para antukin ako.

I want to marry Nathalia, if that's what makes us a real family. Para hindi na rin sya matakot sakin na baka iwan ko sya at si Cassy lang ang habol ko. I told mom about this but she said getting married is a consensual activity. Hindi pwedeng ako lang ang mag dedesisyon. Nathalia should also have a say, in actually everything now. Having sex is included. Napagalitan pa nga ako.

Now I'm gonna find a way to convince her to marry me. Para na rin mapalitan ko ang surname nila ni Cassy because they really deserves the perks and power of being a Miller.

And I am excited na dumating ang araw ma maging okay din kami. My mom told me, I should be patient with her. I know I should be and it will be all worth it.

Natigilan ako sa pag iisip nung makarinig ako ng yapak na parang papunta sakin. Pag lingon ko, napangiti ako nung makita ko si Cassy na nakatingin sakin, may bitbit pa syang stuffed toy, yung bear na binigay ko na lagi nyang nilalaro.