the day that i died

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"I'm the love of your life until I make you mad
It's always one step forward and three steps back
Do you love me, want me, hate me? Boy, I don't understand"

Song- "1 step forward, 3 steps back" by Olivia Rodrigo

TW- DV, please read with your own mental health in mind.
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Evelyn's Pov:

Today is Derek's birthday.

I took off the day from work to prepare for it. Cleaned the house, went across town to pick up food from his favorite restaurant, wrapped his gifts— though he asked me to not get him much, I still bought him something so that he has a gift to open up— and I baked him a cake with his favorite cream cheese frosting.

I was a good wife today, all for him to be almost two hours late to showing up for dinner.

He had to work today because there's a certain case he's been assigned to that's been weighing down on him hard. So many overtime hours and days spent stressing about every single detail in this case, and when he's finally off from work, he's locked himself up in his office to stress some more about this case.

It's a large one that's getting more press than others have in his past. I know that's why he's so concerned about winning this, he wants to look good for the public.

I get that, I do. But they don't go to court for another two weeks, and today was the one day I expected him to be home at his normal time, he promised me he would be.

But he's way later than usual and he's not picking up his phone or answering any of my messages, so I assume he's got his nose stuck in his client's files and is too busy to look at a clock. I don't want to bother him at work, but I would also like to know if he'll be making an appearance soon.

I don't want to clean all this up and him get home to see that I've done nothing for him, that won't blow over well. But I also don't want all this food spoiling as time ticks on waiting for him to finally show.

I hate how he puts me in hard positions when he's not even here. Trying to make each decision carefully as I have to ask myself almost every moment, "Will doing this make him upset with me? Will doing this cause my husband to hit me?"

We have our good days, and then we have our bad days. I wouldn't say the bad days are uncommon, they happen frequently, but sometimes we can go weeks without so much as a pinch.

So far, this week has been fine, maybe that's because I've rarely seen him between both of our drilling schedules. But I was hoping tonight would be one of our good nights, where we would be carefree and he would show me that he loved me still, and I catch a small glimpse of the man I married those years ago.

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