Toji Fushiguro- Obsession

19. Rainy Confessions

As I headed back, the sky grew clouded and the heavens decided to open on me.
I sighed and looked up as my clothes grew damp and heavy. People around me had run for cover and umbrellas popped up as people quickened their pace while the patters became heavier.

I however loved to watch as the cars and roofs danced with spray. I loved seeing the drops drumming on the sidewalk. The different sounds blurred into one beautiful song. My footsteps in the puddles below me only added to the music.

The further I walked the less people there were around me. The rain must've cleared everyone inside. I still continued to dance through the puddles, not really paying attention until I hit into what I thought was a brick wall. That was until two hands steadied me.

My whole body stiffened as I looked up. A large figure stood in front of me. His dark clothes were as damp as mine, perfectly exposing every curve of his body. Droplets clung desperately to his raven hair while others slid beautifully down his face. Our eyes met and I thought my mind was playing tricks on me. Illusions in the downpour maybe?

I cautiously reached my hand out to touch him on the shoulder. He gave me a slightly confused look but still rested his own hand on mine.

" Y-you you're really here?"

" What did you think I wasn't real for a second? I guess that must mean you think about me a lot"

He tried to show a small smirk but I just looked up at him. The rain disguised the tears brimming in my eyes. I couldn't help but let the anger take over me.

" So is this how it's gonna be Toji? You're just gonna mess with my head, lie to me, tell me you're never gonna see me again and then stroll back in my life whenever you feel like it?"
But he interrupted me.

"You think my head's not fucked too Y/N?"

He took a step towards me and I instinctively took two steps back.

" You should've just stayed away Toji"

My voice already started to crack as I fought off the tears. I really didn't want to cry. Not in front of him.

" What if I told you I never left?"

Confused, I looked up at him.

" W-what do you mean?"

He took another step closer to me but this time I didn't move.

" I mean when I left you that day I didn't go far. Something stopped me from going. YOU stopped me from going. I don't know what it is or what you've done to me-"

He took another step but I didn't move. We were face to face.

"Y/N I couldn't bring myself to get away from you.... So I stayed. But I knew.... I knew it was for the best I kept my distance.. watch you from afar again....you needed time and I don't think I could've carried on if I knew I was giving you anymore pain. It was my turn to suffer, I thought I wanted you to get over me".

He took another step. Our faces nearly touching.

" I thought I could cope seeing you with other men...I already thought I braced myself for Gojo to come in and sweep you off your feet-"

His head hung down. His soaked hair dripped onto mine. I could see his body trembling. Not from fear like mine but from anger.

" But when I saw you with him... it took everything in me to stop myself storming over there and making him regret ever laying a fucking finger on you... I wanted to show him that he didn't even compare to me".

He spoke through gritted teeth as his eyes flared. His chest heaved as he tried to control his anger. The realisation soon hit me. He was watching me with Sukuna. He was always watching me... and was....was he jealous?

I don't know how but I managed to gain the courage to reply.

" W-what makes you think you're better than him?" I challenged.

I should've been glad he suffered as much as I did.. yet why did it feel so wrong?

But my reply was almost the breaking point for his control. He kept stepping forward, driving me backwards, never taking his eyes off mine.
I backed up until I felt the cold hard bricks behind me. He'd backed me into a wall.
He slammed his hand over my head and pressed his soaked chest to mine.
His eyes burned into me, making me shrink against the wall.

" Let's find out then shall we Y/N? Would you rather he showed up here instead of me?"

I was silent.

" Is he the one you think of pinning you to a wall?"

He moved his head to the side of mine and growled into my ear.

" Tell me, did his mouth feel as good as mine did?"

He brushed his free hand though my wet hair.

"Did he touch you as good as I did?"

I didn't want him to see he flustered me so my face fell to look at the floor.

" Did he make you cry out like I did?"

He dropped my hair and roughly grabbed my  face. He forced to me to look at him  again.  His gaze was too intense. I tried to look anywhere but at him.

" Is he the one you think about when you're alone at night? Is he the one in your dirty fantasies Y/N?"

My eyes shot to look at him. Giving him the answers he already knew. My heaving chest finally matched his.

" F-final question" he breathed.
He had lost his composure.

" Does he suffer as much as we do together?"

I couldn't speak but I knew silence wasn't enough this time. All I could do was slowly shake my head.

Neither of us spoke. We stayed there staring at each other for what felt like forever. I couldn't tell if it was the rain or tears that stained his face but the pain was clear. It matched mine...

" P-please Y/N.... Shove me away.... Tell me I'm a monster again... tell me I'm evil and no good for you.... Please give me a reason to leave again because I can't bare this-"

I cut him off by crashing my lips on his. He pulled me in closer and deepened the kiss.

When we pulled away he rested his head on mine. We stayed silent, deafened by the downpour around us.  Both of us not knowing what to say and do next.

And in that moment neither of us wanted it to end... we were in too deep but we both knew we couldn't stay here forever.. so I broke our silence.

" Toji... what... tell me what are we going to do-"

He cut me off by pulling me into his arms.

" Honestly I'm just as lost as you are Y/N... but I think we should start with getting out of this rain".

A/N: 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨
Hi! Hope you're all enjoying this so far and I'm sorry this took a while to come out! I'm trying to get back to doing at least one chapter a week.
Thank you everyone for your support! I'm really grateful :)